Rev. Dr. Frank Throckmorton Frischkorn, ABCOPAD Regional Executive Pastor, has secretly signed a deal to franchise the Region, now known at "Wells Fargo ABCOPAD." During the past month, while he was on "sabbatical," Frischkorn had been working out the arrangement with the multi-national bank, saying, "Together, we'll go far!" Looking ahead, Frischkorn believes -- if there are no hold ups -- the next stage is... (more)
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Caryl "Cash & Carry" CaseyIt was recently revealed how Caryl Casey, ABCOPAD Treasurer, managed to "invest" regional funds in a new Swiss Bank Account. Rumors began to circulate when Casey signed up for a crash course with Rosetta Stone. At the same time, she installed a new industrial walk-in freezer to store a recent purchase of chocolate-frosted, creme-filled yodels. In a stunning disclosure... (more)
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Rev. Dr. Jeffrey Johnson, Regional Pastor with Congregations, has been hospitalized due to overdosing on a popular West Virginia hot sauce. Leading a double life, Johnson admitted to his addiction to "Grandpa Hank's Hot as Hades Habenaria Hot Sauce." He had been preparing for a series of old-fashioned revival meetings. Many had thought he was just a passionate preacher. But apparently, the sauce has been the source of his fervent and frenzied... (more)
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Easy Rider Hits The RoadEric Kraihanzel, Regional Pastor for Student Ministries, has sold Camp Judson to finance his purchase of a new Harley Davidson Sportster XR2100X. Making some reference to "hogs in heaven," Kraihanzel claims, "An effective evangelism tool, Harleys are the best way to connect with..." (more)
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 Denise Veselicky, ABCOPAD Western Office Manager, has organized an ABCOPAD "Steelers Revenge" Caravan to Baltimore, MD. Still steaming over last year's playoff loss to the Ravens, Veselicky plans to lead a 7-day march around M&T Stadium. Volunteer will carry empty mayonnaise jars and air horns, and upon her signal will... (more)
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A Farmer Went Out To Sow His Seed...Rev. Dr. Kevin Walden, Regional Pastor with Pastoral Leaders, has proposed a new motto for ABCOPAD: "Cornhuskers for Christ". Standing before the ABCOPAD Region Board, Walden (a former Nebraska native) was dressed in overalls and a straw hat, holding a pitchfork, and singing something about "the scarlet and the cream" Apparently, he's also purchased several thousand corn cob pins from Oriental Trader for distribution throughout... (more) |
 Rev. Mark Mahserjian-Smith, Regional Pastor for Mission and Communications, has introduced bold plans to lead a six-month mission trip to Tahiti. At first, it was reported that the destination was "to Haiti" ...but he quickly corrected, stating, "No! Tahiti". Accommodations at Grand Grove Resort are said to be... (more)
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Russell Goes RogueHired to provide assistance with ABCOPAD social media content, Rev. Bud Russell has apparently turned rogue. Several people suspected unorthodox behavior, as unconventional articles began appearing on the ABCOPAD Facebook page some weeks ago. Last seen, Russell was packing a suitcase and preparing to leave the country... (more)
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