We all know that the perfect can become the enemy of the possible. And nowhere is this truer than during the holiday season.
In addition to the usual challenges of work and family life, holidays present an opportunity to come up with perfect gifts for family, friends and co-workers and to prepare the perfect appetizer or dessert for that neighborhood party.
Enter the new book Wonder Women: Sex, Power and the Quest for Perfection, by Barnard College president Deborah L. Spar. In it, she reinforces the notion that women at the highest levels struggle to "do it all," and inevitably must make tradeoffs.
For anyone who thinks she's the only one who can't master it all without cutting corners, this book may be a good holiday reminder. Even the most accomplished among us bring store-bought casseroles in their own pans.
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HQCs Can Heighten Your Holidays
With time short and much to do, we need all the energy we can get during the holidays.
One important energy source can be high quality connections (HQCs) with other people. Business researchers, such as Jane Dutton at the University of Michigan, recommend HQCs for more energy in the workplace.
HQCs have several important (but time-friendly) elements. Think about how you might adapt them not only to work but to your personal holiday scene.
Respectful engagement. This means being fully present for the other person. It entails being genuine and affirming and communicating through specific requests rather than demands.
Task enabling. Here, the focus is on helping others with their work. It may involve teaching, helping design the work in a do-able way, showing how the work is meaningful, or clearing away barriers to getting the work done.
Trusting. When we show we trust someone, our connection with them becomes stronger. We can show trust by sharing information, including information about ourselves, and by refraining from comments that show we don't expect trustworthy behavior.
Dealing with toxic relationships effectively. Strategies include depersonalizing negative connections, looking for their root causes, and bolstering positive connections as an antidote to the toxic ones.
As you look to apply HQCs to your holiday life, you might think of a time when any one of these elements worked especially well for you in past holiday experiences.
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Random Acts Calendar
Advent calendars can become a way of counting the days until we receive a boatload of gifts. Some give us a chocolate treat for every day that passes.
But the virtual Acts of Kindness advent calendar reverses the process from getting to giving by assigning you a special act of kindness for you to perform every day, beginning on the first day of Advent, Dec. 1.
Sign up (no charge, no ads), and get those energizing kindnesses
rolling. Creators are shooting for 10,000 acts of kindness this season.
Copyright 2013 Pat Snyder
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