Issue No. 55

Aug.-Sept. 2013

Are You School-Smart?

Dear Friends of Balancing Act,

With the big yellow bus back on the roads, what makes life go better during the school year? This month's newsletter passes on some refreshers on the topic from positive psychology researchers.

Coaching attorneys - a skeptical bunch - I often run into questions about trust. Who can you trust and how can you create trust in business and personal relationships? We'll take a look at two excellent resources on that topic.

Another perennial question is how a busy person can meditate when a million thoughts jump in and interrupt. Read on for 25 tips for calling yourself back.

And finally, are you a morning grump? The choreography winner in the Columbus 48-Hour Film Festival can give you a musical hug in a single click.

Hugs to you,

Pat

Back-to-School Smarts

It's that time again. Backpacks stuffed with school papers and assignments. Sports schedules. Meetings with the teacher.

It's easy to find fault - with teachers, assignments, our kids. And sometimes that's warranted.

But positive psychology experts urge us to be aware that our brains default comfortably into the negative when paying more attention to what's working well with our students and teachers can be more productive.

In their book Smart Strengths: Building Character, Resilience and Relationships in Youth, positive education experts David N. Shearon, Sherri Fisher and John Yeager explore ways teachers, students and parents can identify their individual character strengths and use them to transform a school environment one person at a time.

Relatedly, Denise Quinlan, a positive psychologist who works with schools in New Zealand and Australia, warns parents there not to go the way of hyper-competition found in some U.S. school environments but instead to focus on positive feedback. However, as Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck urged in her landmark book Mindset, Quinlan encourages parents to praise effort rather than intelligence. A good summary of Quinlan's thinking on positive education is here.

How Trustworthy Are You?

Whether it's in personal life or business, trust is the foundation of a good relationship. But how to build trust?

In personal relationships, marriage researcher John Gottman says trust is built in small "sliding door" moments that build emotional attunement between partners.

His latest book, The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples, offers research-based strategies for building attunement on a daily basis. They are based on the qualities of awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy.

On the business side, a consultant-developed metric called The Trust Quotient measures your tendency toward reliability, credibility and intimacy relative to your self-orientation. Your ratio predicts the level of trust you are likely creating in business relationships and suggests opportunities for improvement.

Om...? Or OMG, I'm Distracted?

You start to meditate with the best of intentions. But less than one minute in, you're thinking about a client matter, a meeting at school, or what to make for dinner.

"I give up!" you say. "I'll never be mindful." And with that, one of the most powerful stress reduction tools - meditation - is out the window.

You're not alone. The mind is destined to wander. That's why a group of coaches, researchers and mindfulness experts have collaborated to come up with a list of 25 strategies to bring yourself back when you stray from mindfulness. They are varied - from a walk or dance to a body scanning system.

Test-drive them here, and see what works for you.

Copyright 2013 Pat Snyder

In This Issue

Trust

Quick Links

MORNING GRUMP?

Then you may identify with Larry in the Columbus 48-Hour Film Project short, "Larry's Morning."

Take a few to jumpstart your day with a group hug.

Like all entries in the Project, this one was conceived, written and filmed in 48 hours flat.

NEW TIME-SAVING
STRENGTHS TEST

Are you naturally courageous? Creative? Prudent?

The Values In Action inventory, developed by positive psychologists to detect your highest character strengths,
is now faster to take than ever (around 20 minutes) and free.

Why bother? Strengths use can increase your overall well-being and your energy and flow at work.

xxxxxxxxxx

LEASH LAW

NO. 55:

DUMP LIST

To leash in those small random "to do's" in your head, try a dump list. It's where you dump them - all in one place. Then, when you're planning your day, pick one of two to check off. And voila! You'll create - not deplete - energy.

This is based on one of the 74 leash laws offered in Pat's book, The Dog Ate My Planner: Tales and Tips from an Overbooked Life.