"Visiting the iniquity of the parents upon the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth generation." Exodus 34:7

We all carry baggage. Often the baggage that we carry is a family heirloom...like an old chest carried from the old world via Ellis Island. Enclosed in this baggage is our family "iniquity"-all of learned misbehaviors passed down from generation to generation. You know the laundry list: alcoholism, workaholic-ism, emotional vacuity, etc.   All of this baggage is someone else's fault and problem until you have children. Once children enter the equation, each of us becomes a conduit to pass on some the best and worst of our family baggage-whether we want to or not.

It was precisely this fear that encouraged me to wait to have children. Emerging from an extremely loving and caring family I did not, however, escape unscathed. Although I know that my own dad loves me fiercely...I could somehow never find the affirmation I desperately craved. I worried that I too would pass this on to my son. So it was a joy when my son told me one day a couple of summers ago that he would grow up and learn to become a man from me just like I learned from my dad. Although I had felt his sentiment was initially false, I sat there and began to weep. It was true...obviously my dad had taught me what I needed to know-totally unbeknownst to him or me.

Breaking the cycle is not an easy prospect. We are too often unaware of our own baggage, but sometimes if we listen to our children the cycle begins to break. Each time we are able to persevere and break the cycle...God's redemption is felt in a new way. Grace and peace flow backward from the present moment working upon history and opening a space for a new future.

Join me on Tuesday nights throughout the month of October at "The Genesis of Family Values" when we explore our individual and collective baggage by peering into the family system of our spiritual forefathers and foremothers.