I just found a fabulous resource--education.com--that offers great activities for developing what I have called **authentic** or **real** self-esteem. It is interesting to note the similarities between developing authentic self-esteem and bullying prevention!
Creating authentic self-esteem is very different from random praise, affirmations, and smiley faces...and developing authentic self-esteem overlaps with effective bullying prevention.
READ ON FOR DETAILS...
Developing REAL Self-Esteem is also the foundation of The Resiliency Workbook: Bounce Back Stronger, Smarter & With Real Self-Esteem
I am very passionate about this because
the resiliency research is clear:
When the going gets tough, people of all ages need to be anchored in real self-esteem, based on actual strengths, accomplishments, and characteristics that are in every person!
My new book is the perfect tool for students, support groups, book study groups, and church/spiritual study groups to learn learn how to develop REAL self-esteem...for themselves and those they care about.
CLICK HERE TO SEE INSIDE THE BOOK (but then order from us; we offer great discounts--see p. 87)
NOW YOU CAN SEE INSIDE BY GOING TO AMAZON.COM.
This is the book I wish I'd had when I was younger (when I had really low self-esteem)!
The first printing has *SOLD OUT* but we have printed more!
School districts across the country are purchasing the books--some are buying hundreds of copies at a time...
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE TABLE OF CONTENTS OR TO ORDER
Practices That Develop Authentic Self-Esteem in Children and Youth...
...(as reported on education.com, based on social science research)
- Develop a caregiving style that combines acceptance and affection AND high expectations and clear limits.
- Offer activities in which kids can "make real decisions and contributions" -- not "cute" activities.
- Communicate genuine interest in kids..and in what they are doing...
- Engage in these activities along with the kids.
- Help kids acknowledge both "pleasant and unpleasant feelings."
- Demostrate respect for all; avoid "sexism and judging physical attributes."
- Teach social skills--appropriate to age (such as how to cooperate, share, control emotions, and manage anger).
- IMPORTANT: Give real and meaningful feedback to children and youth, based on what is real and avoid "empty praise."
TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE, CLICK HERE
This article notes the power of adult mirroring (also explained on pp. 47-48 of "The Resiliency Workbook.")
It states, "Children incorporate negative adult opinions [i.e. mirroring] into their sense of self."
The activities listed above are examples of positive adult mirroring, which resiliency research indicates has enormous power--even if it comes from only one caring adult in a child's life.
Connecting AUTHENTIC Self-Esteem to Bullying...
...is also included on the education.com website.
Though bullies don't actually lack self-esteem, according to a lot of the research on bullying, creating authentic self-esteem can help prevent victimization. Some recommendations:
- Bolster (authentic) self-esteem as described above.
- Teach assertiveness skills: how to stand up for yourself and for what is right in any given situation.
- Teach additional social skills--how to share, how to control one's emotions, manage anger, and be a good friend (more details are on pp. 41 - 43 of "The Resiliency Workbook").
- Create a cooperative environment: Use social learning and playing groups. "Bullies and victims tend to be less cooperative," reports education.com.
- Use similar group activities to help kids make friends.
- Empower kids! Do this by building on strengths, providing opportunities to succeed, and giving real responsibility.
- Create adult-child and adult-teen dialogue.
These strategies are all strategies that build authentic self-esteem, even though they are listed as "bully prevention."
GO TO THE EDUCATION.COM WEBSITE TO ACCESS DOZENS OF EXCELLENT ARTICLES ON SELF-ESTEEM, BULLY PREVENTION, AND OTHER RESILIENCY-RELATED TOPICS BY CLICKING HERE
Bottom line from the resiliency research: Kids who hear about their strengths, experience caring and supportive adults who also set limits and high expectations, who participate in meaningful activities and activities that support pro-social bonding, and who learn social skills...DO BETTER IN LIFE!
Education.com reports on recent research on successful bully prevention-intervention programs: "Positive adult-student relationships and a school culture of trust and fairness not only reduce bullying, but also are linked to schools with better student achievement."
Resiliency Training Promotes Academic and Life Success, Including Authentic Self-Esteem...
...and I can come to your school district or organization. Presentation topics are listed on our website,www.resiliency.com, as well many rave reviews by educators, social service providers, and administrators.
One of my favorite comments is from Laurel Schmidt, author of Classroom Confidential: The 12 Secrets of Great Teachers and former Director of Pupil Services for Santa Monica, CA schools:
"Your trainings should be packed...Educators [and all helping professionals] should come by the busloads to learn what to do for everything that ails our kids."
CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT RESILIENCY TRAININGS
I hope you can buy The Resiliency Workbook for everyone you know, and I would love to provide follow-up training soon in your school or organization!
Resiliency In Action