The red velvet curtain went up as the all too familiar Tchaikovsky melody began to play. I felt at home sinking deep into the plush velvet theater seat. After all I had spent hours choreographing pas de deuxs to the Nutcracker from the ages of five to fourteen. I watched the dancers glide, listened to the music soar, and suddenly I was struck by the vivid colors. My eyes began to drink in the imagery. Literally high from the colors I was tasting with my eyes. You see . . . I can now see. It seems I have only been partially living. I recently went to my very first optometrist appointment because of some headaches I've been getting. The doctor discovered I have a stigmatism that I have lived with all of my life. It seems my parents never had my eyes tested when I was a child, and since as my father put it "you weren't blind" no one thought to have them checked. Even now I don't technically need to wear glasses for every day but if i do, things go from mediocre to technicolor! The ballet was like a feast for me. The crimson red walls were so utterly vibrant and plush I wanted to weep. The blues, oranges, white feathers and rhinestones on the costumes, the velvet stage curtain, all of it. And then I did cry. Mostly because my young feral one, Charlotte Luna was actually sitting still on my lap. In her young life that was one thing she could never manage. Or perhaps I couldn't manage. I used to wish fervently that she could just be still and take in things, rather than be a whirlwind of curiosity and action. I think I began to cry because I felt that at eight years old, she was finally settling into her physical state. That her soul was beginning to be at peace with her earthly state. I felt that all these years of being in fight or flight, I now can return to a state of being an earthess. I can enjoy the beauty all around me in a deeper way. Also the idea that many of us walk in this place without truly seeing. Wearing lenses allow me to see the details of a leaf, or deepness of a hue, but more than that, on a deeper level we can decide how much we want to take in, how much we want to expand in our vision, in our hearts.
As we close in on 2013 it's a perfect time to take an inventory on what the year has brought us. The success as well as the hardships. The new moon this year falls on January 1st the first time in nineteen years. This is the time to envision what we see for ourselves in 2014. The possible and impossible. Venus comes back from her hiding too this coming month. A time to celebrate and rebirth ourselves into what our soul calls for.
Sending all of you New Moon Blessings and fresh eyes to guide you on your paths . . .
