As I hope you are aware, the big push for this fall was to get our Chalice Circles going.  I am happy to report that six circles have or are about to begin.  Over 50 people signed up wanting to experience these reflective small groups, where monthly themes will guide reflection on meaning and purpose and in so doing create deeper understanding of ourselves and of each other.  If you didn't get a chance to sign up and want to please contact Laura Graham, the Chalice Circles Coordinator.

I'd like to express my deep gratitude to Laura and Larry Graham, Marie Houck, Susan Hill, Nora Bird, Katie Klod and Nick Divitchi.  They are our Chalice Circle Leaders and they are all dedicated to this renewed effort to create more and more community.

I would also like to thank two people who do almost all of their work behind the scenes at UUCG, but without them what happens wouldn't!  Julie Hamilton is UUCG's long time Church Administrator.  She is dedicated to making the building schedule work, seeing that the payroll gets done, the bills are paid, the vendors and service people are greeted, that our renters and those we share the building with are happy, that we have the paper goods and other supplies we need.  She does the clerical work for the board, and for many of the committees and teams.  She makes sure you know what is coming up by means of the weekly e-news that arrives in your inbox every Tuesday at 4 p.m.  And she answers my calls, or e-mails or texts any time whether she is "on the clock" or not.  She is dedicated to making this church function and function well.  

Walter McCorey, also with UUCG a long time and dedicated to his work, serves as the Church Sexton.  He deals with our chairs, our carpets and other flooring.  He cleans and he empties trash and restocks what we need so it is there when we need it to be.  Without the services provided by these two support staff, our members would not be as able to spend their time and energy creating a better world where all people are connected, their basic needs met and their hearts able to love each other and their spirits soar.

Yours in faith,

Rev. Ann Marie

 This is a remarkable year for UUCG's program for YRE (Youth Religious Education). We are offering OWL (Our Whole Lives) Sexuality Education for our youth: K-2, 4-6 and 7-10.

OWL is a curriculum that was developed by the UUA in partnership with the UCC (United Church of Christ). This was in recognition that all people are sexual, and that sexuality is a good part of the human experience, and that our children need correct information and safe opportunities for honest discussion. Offering OWL curricula helps us "transform a cultural climate of fear and confusion about sexuality into a new reality in which every person's inherent worth and dignity is valued."

Youth ages 7th-10th grade have already experienced a few weeks of their year-long curriculum. Children ages K-2nd will begin their 8-week odyssey Oct 12-Dec 14. Children ages 3-6th grade will begin their journey in January (families will receive a direct mailing). For more information, please contact Cindy Dillard, Director YRE (uucgre@att.net; 614-975-0126)

POTLUCK: The first of our quarterly all-church potlucks will be held Oct. 5, following the congregational meeting. Bring your favorite dish to pass and break bread with our beloved community in the YRE wing. Beverages will be provided. 

Everyone is invited to join this team that is always on the lookout to create opportunities for people to connect and have fun.  Contact Kay Bishop and Rick Tolley for more information on the Fellowship Team. 

 Knitting Circle

Anyone interested in knitting -- beginners, novices, intermediates and experts -- please join a weekly knitting circle starting on Oct. 7. The circle will be held on Tuesdays from 6 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. in the RE Wing. We'll have some refreshments, share hopes or projects, and untangle where to go from here. One of our resident experts will be on hand to help us get started or learn new techniques. It'll be great company and a good time.  For more information, contact Kay Bishop or Rick Tolley or call 336-285-6761.  

[A portion of this column appeared in an earlier newsletter.]

Triangulation (def): "the act of telling a third party something that should be delivered straight to the person involved."

At the Unitarian Universalist Association's General Assembly, there is a group of people who serve as the "Right Relations Team." This is a way to address situations when people are angry or have been hurt by someone else's words or behavior. Last year, I asked one of the members of the Team how it was going. He said they had found they could handle many situations by asking three questions:

First, "Have you discussed this with the other individual?" If the answer to that was "No," they moved on to the next question.

Second, "Would you like me to help you discuss this with the other individual?" If the answer was still "No," they had one final question.

Third, "May I use your name when I discuss this with the other individual?" If the final answer was still "No," they told the individual that this was not an issue that the Right Relations Team could address, but rather a pastoral care issue, and invited the person to discuss the situation with the minister who was on duty for pastoral needs.

I find these questions to be a great way to identify when someone is attempting to triangulate. The further down the list you go with "no" answers, the more likely it is that you are being invited to triangulate.

Triangulation happens everywhere: in families, at work, at school, and, yes, even at churches, including ours. It is inevitable wherever people gather. I know there will always be triangulation. I've been known to do it myself, but am lucky to have people close to me who call me on it when I do!

Not all discussions of a third person's behavior are unhealthy triangulation: you may be asking advice, or seeking a reality check on your own reaction, or even, sometimes, just kvetching to a close friend over something minor that you know you'll get over.

However, you know someone is triangulating if they expect you to "do something" about the other person's behavior, especially if they expect you to bring the complaint to the other person without using their name, or if they seem to want you to be as upset as they are about the situation.

And now, the rest of the story:

What is a healthy response to invitations to triangulate? It is always appropriate to offer an empathetic ear and a non-anxious presence to someone who is upset, provided they know that you will not be sharing what they say with anyone, or making any attempt to "fix" things. There will also be times when you need to just say you are sorry, but you cannot listen to complaints about another person's behavior. Whether or not you can listen, you can ask the questions that the Right Relations Team asks. If they have not spoken directly to the person with whom they are upset, offer to go with them, or offer to help find someone else to go with them. Members of the Healthy Congregation Committee stand ready to fulfill this function for issues within the church community

The other side to this is to be willing to listen to someone else when they are upset by your behavior. Church is a place where we practice what it means to be human. We all make mistakes and fall short of our highest aspirations from time to time. Church is also a place to learn and practice new behaviors. We can learn to listen to each other with compassion, and learn to speak up directly to other people when their behavior or words are upsetting to us. That direct communication on both sides - listening with care and compassion and speaking directly with care and compassion - can help all of us to move into deeper and more loving relations.

Yours for continuing good health

Marie Houck

For the Healthy Congregation Committee

Rhythm of Being 

UUWomenspirit Fall Event   October 15-19, 2014

Institute - Oct 15-17,  $250.  Gathering - Oct 17-19,  $250

Price includes all meals, lodging, and programming at

The Mountain Retreat & Learning Center; Highlands, NC

http://mountaincenters.org

Open to all women, regardless of affiliation or spiritual path, 18 years and older to join us for an inclusive spiritual retreat in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains.

Examples of workshop topics include, Fierce Feminine Archery, Rhythmic Wisdom Frame Drumming, Cultivating Your Life's Mission & Discovering Your Prayer/Mantra, Soapstone Carving. Using the Tarot for Creative Growth. Singing the Rhythms of Our Lives, Breath & Feet: Listening to Your Body's Rhythm & Wisdom, In Rhythm With Nature, and End of Life Tools.

Daily worship services are sacred times planned and offered by UUWomenspirit members with ritual, meditation, and experiential activities to explore out authenticity through themes of body, mind, heart, earth, music and community.

Other activities include Brigid's Bazaar (sales area), amazing Cabaret, candlelit outdoor Labyrinth Walk, Stargazing,Sacred Circle Dancing, Healing Circle and more! For additional information: www.uuwomenspirit.org

Contact: Registrar uuwomenspirit@gmail.com

**UUWomenspirit is a volunteer organization created for the purpose of enhancing the religious and spiritual development of women of all paths, including but not limited to the Unitarian Universalist (UU) community. UUWomenspirit addresses this purpose by creating, conducting, and supporting activities that encourage and enable women to explore their religious and spiritual origins, experiences and beliefs. Such activities are designed to promote spiritual development and growth by: fostering communication, making connections and providing support; pursuing, nurturing and affirming creativity and diversity; promoting awareness of the challenges women face; developing ways to meet challenges and overcome obstacles to spiritual and religious growth; encouraging leadership skills through participation in planning the organization's development, growth and activities; and developing the use of consensus decision making.

Request forms for both Lay Pastoral Care Associates and the Care Team are available on the table near the back window in the sanctuary.  If you would like help with something or know of someone who may need support, please fill out a form and place it in the care box.  

The Care Team, headed by Sara Bourquin ( Sara's Email Link )

Janet Eley (Janet's Email Link or 617-4666) oversees the Lay Pastoral Care Associates, who provide a confidential, caring presence to congregants undergoing stressful life challenges.

• Highlights of the September 18, 2014 UUCG Board of Trustees Meeting

  • Lonnie Houck, Treasurer, reported that operating income through August 31 was almost $17,000 less than last month, due to large pledge payments in July.  Total pledge income for August was only 5% under YTD budget, not unusual for August.  Expenses were $6,437 less than last month, as we paid for the $4,000 website upgrade in July.
  • At the board retreat, the members had a discussion about promises they make to the board and promises they want the board to make to them. This provided the framework for considering revising the current board covenant. Katja Brown and Karen Madrone worked together to create a draft of a new board covenant for this church year. The draft was presented and will be voted on at the October meeting.
  • Karen Madrone provided a summary of Board goals for 2014-15 that were developed at the Board retreat. These will be voted upon at the October meeting.
  • Karen Madrone asked the board members to consider reading Not Your Parent's Offering Plate by J. Clif Christopher. Everyone agreed to read this book together.
  • At the board retreat we discussed several possible changes to the bylaws. Michelle Lee created a draft of a Bylaws Task Force charter which was reviewed at the September meeting and will be voted on at the October meeting. Lonnie Houck agreed to be one of the members of this Task Force. The board will vote on the additional members of the Taskforce at the October meeting.
  • Karen Madrone will meet with the Policies & Procedures Committee to help assess the next focus of policy creation moving forward.
  • Rev. Ann Marie Alderman presented a timeline for actions a church needs to take for calling a settled minster. This is a tentative timeline the board is considering as we prepare for a called settled minister search.
  • When the board retreat was scheduled at the St. Francis Springs Prayer Center, members were asked to pay more if they could which would help cover the cost for others. There was a $200 surplus. The board agreed to put those funds in the Leadership Development line item in the budget to help defray costs for future leadership training expenses.
    • Lonnie Houck reported that SunTrust requires UUCG's congregation to approve refinancing the mortgage. A congregational meeting will be called on Sunday, October 5. A notice about the meeting went out via email on Friday, September 19.
    • The next Board meeting will be Tuesday, October 21 at 7 pm and is open to all.

   

   

  Submitted by Sharin Francis