Hey, it's vacation time again. Whose vacation do you usually end up on? Yours or your loved one's?

Do you want to win the argument this year?

Here's a scenario to relate to.

He wants to go to Mexico. You want to take the kids on a California excursion. The last three years, you've followed HIS plan: A fishing cabin on the Rogue River in 2010. A tour of 6 baseball stadiums in 2011. A rock and roll marathon in Vegas in 2012.

Enough is enough, right? You know the kids are dying to explore California - from Sea World to Disneyland and Universal Studios to harbor tours and trolley rides in San Francisco, finishing off with hikes in the redwoods in Humbolt County. Meanwhile, the man is hitting you and the kids over the head with brochures and lectures about Mexico - everything from fishing off Ensenada to bullfights in Tijuana to a seven-day trip down the entire Baja peninsula to Cabo.

Okay, here are the "vacation business issues": (without any reference to a person's temperament). The kids are a little young for the activities in Mexico, especially deep-sea fishing and bullfights. Last year's trip to Vegas missed the mark completely for interest to children and a sitter had to be hired fifty percent of the time. Besides, a promise had been made a few years earlier to go to California, especially if school grades were good. The fact is their grades were astonishingly good this year.

Are you ready to take control? Depending on your spouse's temperament, here's how the pitch might look:

TO GOLD HUSBAND: Honey, you have to agree that we have supported your vacation leadership one hundred percent the last several years. I'm your biggest fan of your planning because it has always been careful and thorough. I am asking you to do the same this year, but I am also asking you to postpone the Mexican trip for several reasons. First, for the last two years, we have promised the kids we'd hit those California resorts and beaches, and we should do the right thing by them. Second, most of our friends have already gone there as a family and nearly every single one says the entire family unit ended up getting along better afterwards. Third, I hope you agree your activities in Mexico are too risky for our kids at this age. We need to keep watching over them and presenting them with wholesome activities they will remember and build upon. And Honey, you know, we don't have to rush into a decision right now. Please think about it and let's talk about it again in a few days, okay?

How many Gold values were addressed in that pitch? Can you think of any others to include? If you are Gold, would YOU be persuaded?

TO GREEN HUSBAND:  Look, Honey, the Mexican trip is probably not a smart move. Deep-sea fishing is a crap shoot for weather and sea conditions, and, you have to admit, bullfighting could creep the kids out for life. And do you know how long that drive is from Ensenada to Cabo? Do you realize there are very few towns on that route? What if the car breaks down?  Mexico will still be there when the kids are a lot older. Let's do the California excursion, as we've been promising. At Sea World, they'll learn stuff they'd never get in school. Disneyland brings fun, culture and history together like no other place. They'll get the boat experience in San Francisco Bay, and you can be sure they'll be talking about the Redwoods for years to come. Heck, you and I will learn a lot along the way, right? You've been to California only once in your life, right? What do you think? Do you want to think about it?

Did you see Green values being addressed? Are you Green? Would you want to hear other arguments to change your mind?

TO ORANGE HUSBAND: Hey, Honey, Mexico is always fun. Remember our honeymoon? We got tipsy in four cities and danced every night till dawn, right? Okay, but let's get serious for a minute. That cannot be the Mexico we take our kids to at this point, do you see? I mean, deep-sea fishing and bullfights will probably scare the crap out of them. And remember Vegas last year? They didn't have any fun at all because we were gone the whole time and they had to hang with a sitter. Come on, it's their turn, wouldn't you agree? We have more ideas to choose from.  Like the California thing? Think about it. It's too fun to pass up. We'll hit the beaches all the way up the coast - between the resorts and activities. You love driving on the coast, I know, and that's just one thin we can do. What do you say? The kids' grades were over the top. We promised them we'd do it. Okay? Wanna do it? Besides, you and I can sneak off to Mexico when the kids go to camp. How doesTHAT sound?

Orange values are all about energy, opportunity, and fun, right? Are you Orange? Would you take the bait? Anything else you want to hear?

TO BLUE HUSBAND:  Honey, you know we usually go along with your vacation ideas, right? I want to ask you for a little help this year. As a family, we always try to accommodate everybody when we go on vacation. I hope you'll agree that you and I have pretty much enjoyed ourselves each year, but I've noticed that the kids are feeling left out. They said they hoped the vacation this year wouldn't be like Vegas again. I asked them what they wanted. Of course they said Disneyland. And they reminded me we've been promising that for a few years. I have no doubt at all that a California excursion would have something wonderful for each one of us. The coast is so beautiful. We have lots of friends there. Adults and children pretty much enjoy the beaches equally. And don't forget how much fun we can have in the Bay Area and the Redwoods. Do you mind terribly if we save Mexico for later, honey? Let's create some happiness for every one of us this year. What do you say?

The truth is that Blue people are the easiest to convince, especially when you ask them to help out and to think of the entire group instead of self. Are you yourself Blue? Do you feel convinced?

So do you have vacation dreams that have not been realized because someone else in the house "always wins?" If so, what about this year? Are you willing to put some thought into making a vacation proposal more effectively tappi in to the other' Color?

Write me a note if you want to examine this further.

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