One of the goals of yoga is to create a sattvic temperament, one that is serene, peaceful, patient and tolerate. Sattvic people are positive, generous, kind, open, fair, and forgiving. They avoid extremes of emotions, conflict, aggression and hostility.  

An area of life that often presents a challenge to maintaining a sattvic temperament is relationships. These challenges are usually centered on communication of some sort, or lack of it. For instance, we often expect people to be mind readers. "Well, if they loved me, they would know what I want!" Uh, no, it doesn't work that way. Just as you can't read other people's mind and know what they want, they can't read yours.  

Another problem is to assume people will do what we would do in a particular situation. We think that everyone would respond just like us. Again, no. Everyone is a unique individual, with a multitude of perspectives and ways of being. It's unreasonable to expect people to behave as we would.  

Many times people are unaware of the effects of their behavior. A way to let them know is through making requests. The following are steps you can take in making requests, thereby creating sattvic relationships:

1. Get clear on what you want. Write it down. Visualize the outcome you wish to see and surround it with positive emotions. For example: Visualize your partner putting his dirty socks in the hamper rather than tossing them on the floor. Then imagine yourself praising him for his neatness.
2. Use the sandwich technique: praise, area of change, followed by more praise. Start by pointing out something positive they do, like helping clear the table after meals. Then put in your request for the behavior modification. "Since you're so good about helping clear the table, I have a request. From now on, can you also put your socks in the hamper rather than on the floor? That would be a big help to me." Then wrap it up with more praise about something else they do well, like maintaining the lawn.
3. Use the phrase, "From now on..." if it's an ongoing behavior.
4. When making your request, refrain from any snarkiness. Your tone can easily put them on the defensive. You'll achieve your desired result quicker with sweetness vs. sarcasm. Role play with a friend if necessary to remove any hint derisiveness.
5. After you make your request, be quiet and let them process the information and respond.

Another thing to keep in mind is that you have to be open to requests, too. Relationships are a two way street. Lead by example when making requests, and show other people how you wish to be treated. It may seem clunky at first, but will eventually become easier.  

Make it a goal to have sattvic relationships. Learning to make requests is a much needed skill that will help us achieve that goal.