It is a sad fact that suicide is the third leading cause of death among persons aged 15 to 24 years old - the second leading cause for those 24 - 54 years old. Among 15 to 24-year olds, suicide accounts for 20% of all deaths annually.*

     Close to home, Rich D'Andrea sees the effects of suicide more often than he ever imagined he would. "Nearly 5% of the funerals that we handled in 2011 and 2012 were either suicide or a death by overdose or other ambiguous cause that wasn't able to be confirmed a suicide. That is simply unprecedented in our business history," said Rich D'Andrea.

     Sayville, Bayport, and the surrounding  communities have been particularly hard hit with suicides in recent years.   Rich D'Andrea added, "I am a parent, as is my friend, Michelle Virga, a Long Island social worker who also sees a high incidence of suicides in her work. She and I talked about what we might do together to try to combat the growing numbers."

     Michelle Virga is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has specialized in bereavement counseling for several years. She works at Ward Melville High School on the North Shore and has a private practice in Sayville. She has always wanted to open a grief support center for all kinds of losses. "Grief is really misunderstood," Michelle said. "People don't realize that it is a lifelong process.
You don't really ever get over it; you just learn to live with it."

     After several conversations, Rich and Michelle decided to put action to their ideas. Thus, The Neighborhood House was born. Their long-term goal is to have a permanent home for The Neighborhood House. Temporarily, however, The Neighborhood House is using space at the New Life Community Church in Sayville. For now, Rich and Michelle are focusing on servicing the bereaved who have experienced a death by suicide.    

     In this context, a survivor is a family member or close friend of a person who died by suicide. These individuals are deeply impacted by the death and experience a range of complex grief reactions including guilt, anger, abandonment, denial, helplessness and shock. It is estimated that a median of between 6 and 32 survivors exist for each suicide. According to another estimate, approximately 7% of the US population knew someone who died of suicide during the past 12 months.*

     Helping the bereaved is called post-vention or prevention through helping those who are grieving the loss of a loved one from suicide (whose risk factor for suicide themselves is very high). Michelle explained, "Part of what we do is to provide support in dealing with the whole community's response to suicide. Survivors are often isolated even within their own families. This is a very difficult grief journey to walk. We want to create a community of support where people can connect with others who understand what they are experiencing and provide education of what 'normal' grief is and isn't. We give respect and permission for them to grieve in their own way and at their own pace with the kindness they deserve."

     The Neighborhood House is currently presenting an eight-week Bereavement Group Program for those who have been affected by a suicide death of a family member or friend. Michelle added, "Our Bereavement Group is structured differently from most. We meet on a weekly basis - the same folks each week. We start by eating a home-cooked meal together, generously provided by volunteers in the community. This helps us to create a connection and build a community within our group. We then have a discussion about the common struggles each may be facing and some education about the grieving process. The last half hour we get involved in an expressive art activity that helps individuals express what they are going through. This activity provides a transition out of the intensity of the group and prepares them to leave. It's amazing how we can witness that participants in the group have been comforted by the process and are ready to leave."

     Michelle Virga is presenting and facilitating the sessions which are held Tuesdays from 6 pm - 8 pm at the New Life Community Church. The next 8-week program is scheduled to begin the first week in February and registration will begin in January. For those interested in learning more and/or registering, information is available by calling 631-589-0055.

     Rich said, "Suicide is the most difficult type of death we deal with. You can explain an accident and illnesses do happen ... but suicide has a different connotation - a lot of guilt goes along with it and it can be brutal. It is our goal to help people to cope and to move on."  For more information about The Neighborhood House, please call 631-589-0055.   

*National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Division of Violence Prevention