Never Settle For Less Than God's Best: Caution In Choosing A Mate. By : Carmen Love
So many times we get caught up in the way a person looks, how talented they are, how much money they make, or how they make us feel, and loneliness can make us compromise and settle for less than God's very best for us. It is never the will of God to get involved or remain in a relationship that causes us heartache, distress, and so much emotional pain, that we lose ourselves in the process.
If you're dating someone who is treating you in a way that you know is not of God, the best thing to do is to get out as soon as possible. The longer you linger, the harder it will be. God would rather see you end the relationship and weep now, than see you fall right into a catastrophe that will cost you more than tears, later.
Listen: You are not a bargain basement creation. Your life should read: "Not for sale! Paid for by the highest bidder. Jesus!" Hold your head up and carry yourself in a way that intimidates a person who is insecure; mean spirited, and simply out of your league. This is not arrogance. It is the true value of who you really are. Never compromise your integrity for anyone. You are a child of God.
Real Love
People who love you... won't make you cry. People who love you, won't berate you, raise their voice at you in anger, make you feel like you're stupid, less than, or that something is wrong with you. That's not love. People who love you take the time to care, support, and nurture seeds that God has put inside of you. They understand that the manifestation of this kind of harvest will be beneficial to both parties. People who love you don't ask what you can do for them. They want to know how they may serve you, bless you, without an agenda in mind. People who love you are not perfect, but will be perfect for you, only because they are a Godsend.
Blinded by Romance
Sometimes we get so caught up in the romance that we miss the warning signs. This is dangerous because like a veil, it covers the truth, preventing us from seeing the whole picture. Love is never painful or degrading. It's not selfish or unkind. Love is not demanding and controlling. Love honors and appreciates another for who they are.
If you are old enough to be in a relationship, then you are definitely old enough to choose how you want to dress, how to spend your time, your money, choose your friends, and choose what brings you joy. There is never a time when someone else should be making these decisions for you or demanding that you do things their way.
When someone truly loves you, they want what's best for you. They will go through great lengths to make sure that you are happy in doing the things that make YOU happy, although all relationships do require some form of compromise.
Nevertheless, no one should ever try and convince you to compromise your integrity to please them. When someone loves you they are praying for you to be everything that God wants you to be and encouraging you in this direction.
The Danger of Compromise
Casting your pearls before swine and giving that which is holy unto the dogs can lead to a spiritual blindness and death that will make you wish you'd never crossed the path of the person you are in a relationship with. Oftentimes, people who are ungodly seek out what they want without caring about the needs and desires of others.
They are like chameleons and can be convincing in swaying your beliefs. They will study you, listen to you, and be patient long enough until you've been snared. And by the time you recognize the trap, it's difficult to see your way out of the confusion. This is not something that happens overnight and the manipulation is often very covert to the point where you're not even aware until it is too late. Manipulators breed on compassionate naive, vulnerable souls.
Intimacy
Ladies, if you're not good enough for him to marry then you shouldn't be good enough for him to sleep with either. Sex is an institution of marriage, and a man who loves you would be willing to wait for you knowing that your body is a holy temple and belongs to God. You are definitely worth the wait to a true man of God. Never give in to someone pressuring you to sleep with him. Even though things sometimes happen unintentionally when people care about each other, the best thing to do is not put yourself in a situation that breeds temptation.
Reuniting too soon.
Some times when a couple separates, it doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship is over. It doesn't always mean finality. Many couples have separated and even divorced, and later reunited, and the second time around the relationship was stronger and more fulfilling than before. Sometimes separation is a good thing because it allows ample time for God to work on each individual. During this time each individual should be seeking God and asking for wisdom, healing, direction, and what God is trying to teach them. During a trial of separation it is only natural to miss each other, but be careful because premature reunification can backfire if heart changes have not been made and true repentance not sought.
Sometimes couples, who reunite too soon before healing takes place, discover that the only thing that has changed is time. Trust that this loving God who created you, wants the best for you, and desires to make you happy. God can see the whole picture. He'd rather hear you weep now before it begins than witness the destructive consequences of a wrong choice later; a sacrifice much greater than your tears.
Be prayerful in choosing the right person or reuniting too soon. A hurried decision based on emotions can lead to devastating consequences.
