Insta-Grammar:

The Syntax of Parenting in the Digital Age 

 

Dear Parents and Guardians,

 

Schools face tremendous challenges with the rampant use of social media sites by their students. Facebook, Instagram, Ask.fm, Formspring, Google Plus and YouTube are just a few places where our students are communicating online with each other, and while the vast majority of this communication is harmless, the past couple weeks have demonstrated to us that these and other sites can have harmful effects on Hillview students, their families, and the school culture.

A little over a week ago we learned of the presence of several Instagram accounts − all of which have since been taken down − that were targeting a student at Hillview. These were "imposter" accounts; the author remained anonymous and the name of the account made inappropriate and offensive remarks about the victim. Furthermore, other Hillview students "followed" these accounts.

For many parents, the first question might be, "What exactly is Instagram?" Instagram, owned by Facebook, is technically a photo sharing App. Chances are that if your child uses a smart phone or an iPad, he or she has this free app (the icon above is what you will see on your child's device). Setting up an account is a snap: students provide a user name and an email address, and they are off and running. When you look at anyone's Instagram home screen, you see a profile picture or image, and three pieces of data: photos (how many are posted), followers (the number of people who follow the user, and who receive updates when anything new is posted by the user), and following (how many people the user is following, and from whom the user receives updates when anything new is posted).

We were pleased when a number of students came forward and told us about the accounts that had been created. Many of our students responded to these accounts with outrage. They stood up for the victim, they rightly identified the accounts as cyberbullying, they flagged the accounts as "spam" (which alerts Instagram to potential abuse), and they demanded that the accounts be taken down. The responses were both voluminous and vociferous. Two accounts went down right away, one removed by the creator and the other by Instagram. One remained up despite numerous and repeated reports; an email abuse report to the Instagram Support center finally got the job done. You should know that both Instagram and its parent Facebook are notoriously difficult to reach; their privacy policies and their protection of first amendment rights shield them from responding with alacrity.

But these imposter Instagram accounts are not the only ones that should concern our community. Our preliminary research and subsequent communications with parents have plunged us into the rabbit hole. 

 

The following is a list of public accounts. An Instagram account defaults to public when created, which means that all photos posted on the account can be seen by anyone, as well as identifying information about students. You can go on Instagram at this moment and take a look at these, but you can only search for them through the mobile app. Instagram's browser-based interface won't give you search capability. And when you search, you will see Hillview students:

• menlobods (an account where the user has posted images of "Menlo Park Best Bodies")
• MENLOCUTIES (an account similar to menlobods, with postings of Hillview, La Entrada, and various high school students)
• bbesthillviewcouples (an account where the user has juxtaposed photos or screen shots of students who are purportedly couples, but in some cases the posting appears to be teasing, suggesting that two students are romantically linked when in fact they are not)
• hillviewscutestcouples (similar to bbesthillviewcouples)
• hv_sixies (photos of numerous Hillview 6th grade students)
• A sixth grade student with more than 1,000 followers, and following more than 2,300 other users. This is not unusual, as students often work hard to get more followers, promising "shout-outs" and other kinds of virtual rewards for certain milestones.

We encourage you as parents to take a look at these accounts. As mentioned above, they are public, and you can literally set up your own Instagram account in 60 seconds and start exploring. You may find that your own child has something posted here, or maybe the child of someone you have a connection to. "It takes a village," so don't hesitate to contact another parent if what you see gives you pause. And of course if you take issue with an account or a photo, you can report it to Instagram.

 

As a school, Hillview is limited in how it can take action. We can educate parents, which this letter attempts to do. We can discipline students for their actions at school and at school-sponsored events, and we can address behavior if it happens within school hours. When the behavior takes place outside of school and outside of school hours, we may discipline the student if "the pupil has intentionally engaged in harassment, threats, or intimidation, directed against school district personnel or pupils, that is sufficiently severe or pervasive to have the actual and reasonably expected effect of materially disrupting classwork, creating substantial disorder, and invading the rights of either school personnel or pupils by creating an intimidating or hostile educational environment" (CA Ed Code 48900.2). We apply the "hostile environment" clause in situations like these because we know that if a victim of cyberbullying has to come to school each day knowing − as his or her classmates likely know − that the student's reputation is being maligned online, it is difficult to focus on school work with all the attention.

To compound our challenges, in instances like the Instagram imposter sites, there is rarely a "smoking gun" that reveals the true culprit. It is extremely difficult to even get accounts taken down through reporting, much less get Instagram to reveal the email address or IP address associated with the account's author. Our conversation with local law enforcement has surfaced similar frustrations.

Getting back to the subtitle of this piece, the thesis, somewhat long in coming due to all the necessary exposition, is parenting in the digital age. What can parents do to monitor their students, and how can parents respond when their children are victims of cyberbullying or when they learn of inappropriate content?  

1. First and foremost, learn more about Instagram and Facebook and any other social media site you hear about. Get your own account and check it out. Our children are the "digital natives," so we as digital immigrants need to travel to where they are and observe the customs there. One helpful webpage is on Instagram.  
2. Instagram, like Facebook, is for students 13 years or older. Thirteen may seem like an arbitrary age, but in general, students younger than 13 are not ready to use a social media site safely and responsibly. Our recent struggles with Instagram prove this, as all students involved were most likely eleven or twelve. What an eleven-year-old boy finds "funny" an adult may find appalling.
3. If your child is old enough to have an Instagram or Facebook, having a conversation about online expectations is a must. Safety and privacy are of paramount importance. So many of our students have their names, ages and birthdays publicly accessible. In addition, students must know that if they violate expectations about what they post − or whom they friend and therefore from whom they receive messages − their accounts can be taken away. If your child tries to circumvent this by secretly creating new accounts or secondary accounts, then the device itself − be it phone, iPad, or computer − becomes up for discussion. Drivers' licenses are conferred only after someone has taken courses and received a permit; young drivers who receive moving violations pay fines and lose the right to drive. How well prepared is your child to steer through the streets of his or her virtual neighborhood, and is he or she prepared for the consequences of recklessness?
4. We have suggested at parent education events that if your child has a Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media account, you should be a "follower" (in the case of Instagram) or a friend. Students will often play the privacy card, but our experiences have shown us that students need that extra assistance as they navigate through the digital landscape. They may post inappropriate content, not realizing how others will interpret it. They may be on the receiving end of inappropriate content, not knowing how to respond or who to go to for help. The recent tragedy in nearby Saratoga where a 15-year-old girl took her life exemplifies the need for caring adults to walk hand in hand with children as they become competent digital citizens.
5. Finally, if you see abuse, or if your child experiences abuse, report it to the social media site. You also have the option of reporting egregious abuse to the Menlo Park Police. Hillview is committed to being responsive to cyberbullying, but law enforcement has more tools to address these issues.  

Our students are growing up in an era very different from what their parents and we as their educators experienced. They live "real" lives and online lives, the latter often out of sight and unbeknownst to the adults that care about them. As much as we wish it were not so, there is no stemming the tide of social media, nor is it realistic to think that our young people will readily give up the devices that define their lives and their interactions with others. Instead, we must instill in our children the "cyber-sense" they must apply when interacting online, and we must educate them so that the "digital footprint" they leave behind is respectful to their online environment and kind to their peers. Middle school students need adults to help them figure this out. While they may fool us from time to time with their adult-like sensibilities, they are still kids at heart and need us to guide the way.  

 

Sincerely,

 

Willy Haug

Vice Principal