As we end another school year, this Special Newsletter Edition (yeah, I know, it's so rare that I write one, ALL the Newsletters are "Special," just like FBI "special" agents) highlights and tells the true humble beginnings of the University of Virginia Law School Softball Tournament. 30 consecutive years later, this tournament is now an institution with over 100 different law school teams participating on a Spring Weekend in Charlottesville! Hint, the beginning involved Bob Battle, college buddies and lots of beer.

Thirty years ago, during Christmas break, while I was a 3^rd year law student at William & Mary, I met up with my high school buddy and Notre Dame roommate for 3 years, Tom McNeill, then a 3rd Year Law Student at the University of Virginia. Quite shockingly, we were pounding beers in D.C. at the Dubliner Irish Pub. Since both of us already had very good jobs lined up, we discussed that our primary focus in our last semester was beer and softball. Tom explained that he was in fact the Softball Commissioner for the grad school softball league. I was in awe- they actually had a budget! During the course of the evening, we decided that we should try to get a softball tournament together. I told him that I could get 2 teams from William & Mary Law School. Tom went to work along with plenty of help from another Notre Dame 1981 grad, assistant Commissioner Bob Stewart, at the time a second year law student at U.Va. They were able to assemble 16 teams from various law schools. What a great boondoggle- play some softball and get free beer and party all weekend in Charlottesville. My William & Mary team was weakened by the fact that two of our stars, current Richmond Athletic Director Jim Miller and former U.Va. baseball player Gary Nickerson, were married to intelligent women who realized the weekend was an excuse to enjoy a drunken guys weekend and they did not get a hall pass.

As the inaugural tournament approached, I decided to write Commissioner McNeill (wow, I actually sent him a handwritten letter- that was a long time ago!) and, in the true spirit of softball sportsmanship, informed him that we "not only were going to win their tournament, but we were going to drink all their beer, get with all their women and burn their overrated law school to the ground." As I approached the field for our first game, I quickly learned that McNeill, ever the prankster, had chosen to put that exact quote in the law school newspaper. As you can probably guess, my original letter had used a different phrase than "get with" their women. The written words did not quite convey the tongue-in-cheek, old pals jokingly talking smack that my letter had intended. Let's just say that I found the crowd to be a tad hostile, thus guaranteeing a weekend of more beer drinking and zero chance of "getting with" anyone! In fact, my appearance at the event was much like the old Bob Uecker Miller Lite Beer commercials. ("Ahh, these fans, I love 'em.") I was actually just happy to escape the game without getting pepper sprayed by any of the female law students. 

That's not funny!)

Our William & Mary team quickly and literally went down swinging and, without much disappointment from our squad, broke training for the first time that Spring and had a few beers and watched Virginia's basketball team compete in the NCAA tournament on TV.

 

Before we left on Sunday, Tom McNeill told us that they had plenty of beer left and we could take whatever we could transport. Only to a starving law student would the prospect of free beer from kegs that had been out in the hot sun for 2 days seem like we had just won the lottery. Anyway, we loaded up beer in Big Gulp cups, water bottles, hats, cleats, etc. and were able to drink the entire way back to Williamsburg with Randy Robida earning our team MVP for agreeing to drive. I arrived back in Williamsburg in the late afternoon on Sunday and decided to take a quick nap.

Softball Tournament merges into Llama Orioles Baseball trip

I woke up from my "nap" at 7:45 a.m. on Monday morning. The problem- at 8:00 a.m., the bus left from law school for the annual William & Mary Law School Llama bus trip to the Baltimore Orioles opening game. The Llama trip was the brainchild of 3 baseball-loving law students who graduated before me at William & Mary who wanted to blow-off class, but did not want to be the designated driver. They decided that it would be easy to convince 40 fellow law students to also skip school and rent a bus. (The "Llama" in the name originated from a llama farm that was on the route from Williamsburg to Baltimore.) Anyway, the bus had a keg of beer on board and it was always a highlight of the year and a very happy crew on board. I brushed my teeth, combed my hair and arrived just as the bus was leaving. As I boarded the bus to the applause of my fellow law students, I was handed a nice cold beer! Ahh, the stress of a third year law student.

So, fast forward to April 2013- I met up with Tom McNeill and Bob Stewart in Charlottesville for the 30th Annual University of Virginia Law School Softball Tournament. The tournament has grown and has over 100 teams participating. Yes, it takes 10 people at least per team so over 1000 participants descended on Charlottesville for the weekend. The tournament has added co-ed and law alumni divisions as well. The tournament also raised $20,000 for a local children's charity, Children, Youth, and Family Services. Needless to say, it was extremely impressive to see how the tournament had grown.

The law students were brilliant in getting corporate sponsorship. The organizers even convinced the law firm of Troutman Sanders to sponsor the softballs and Staff shirts. The law firm of Hogan Lovells sponsored the very authentic looking Virginia jerseys. I saw a lot of schools who had jerseys sponsored by Bar-Bri, the leading Bar Review Course. Remember Harvard's response 30 years ago? I am proud to report that Harvard had two teams in this year's tournament. They also had two different sponsors for their jerseys (hey, they are very bright, that's why they got into Harvard.)

- Fordham Law School- no need to explain!

- William & Mary Law School still using the Bob Battle Training Program

W&M Softball toasts Bob "Frank the Tank" Battle

Woman on George Washington University Law School after learning their next opponent, "Oh God, we play f***ing Baltimore. They're sober and they want to win!" I agree- sober serious softball sucks.

 Although when Tom McNeill told this story to a woman on the Baltimore team, she seemed genuinely upset to be called sober. When she found out that Tom was the original commissioner, she asked him to autograph her jersey, thus proving beyond a reasonable doubt that she was drunk. I am told this is now a new sobriety test in Charlottesville. The cops ask the driver if they would like Tom McNeill's autograph and if they say yes, they are definitely too drunk to drive. Trust me, this test is more accurate than standing like a flamingo, walking like a chicken or following the bouncing pen "standardized" sobriety tests that are currently being used at the scene.

Baltimore Law Student with Tom McNeill's autograph on her jersey- Presumption of Intoxication!

Some knucklehead law student from New England Law School said, "Well there couldn't have been women in the first tournament because there were no women in law school then, right?" Wrong, by about 50 years at William & Mary, Wiffle Ball! Not only were there women at William & Mary Law School, but the most awesome women's law school softball team ever- the Lady Swints. They would have not only won the softball tournament, drank all their beer, got with whoever the hell they felt like getting with and... all right, all right, you get my point.

Leesburg Lawyer Alex Levay has played in 7 different U.Va. Law School Softball Tournaments. After completing a legitimate 3 year run at George Washington Law School, Alex and his buddies kept sending in entries from random schools and enjoying a weekend of softball and partying.

if you are still lookingfor that last second Fathers Day gift for Father-of-the-Year Bob Battle, I've got a suggestion-how about some ear plugs? All right, that makes me sound like a grumpy old man. Uhh, how about some cool hip Dre Beats noise-cancelling Head phones!

Happy Father's Day and I am truly blessed to be the Dad of my 2 rock stars, Conor and Emmett.

Sincerely, Bob Battle

(804) 673-5600