"Whenever I treat bickering couples, says psychotherapist Ira Israel, I reframe their often heated, finger-pointing conversations by asking them "What do you want it to say on your tombstone?"  Nobody wants it to say, "Was Right!" Most sane people want it to say, "Beloved." So why do we spend so much of our mental lives making ourselves "right" and other people "wrong"??  Obviously, this is a flaw in the design of the mind, one that we can use mindfulness and non-reactivity to remedy. If we can learn how to observe our thoughts, feelings and reactions to stimuli rather than simply act them out unconsciously, then we can make decisions that bode more favorably for our long-term health and well-being. Read more . . .