Does Your Goal Scare You?
Hello from the neck of Camelback Mountain in Scottsdale, Arizona! I am an hour away from kicking off a program I've never facilitated before. My heart is pounding and the thoughts in my head are racing...or is my head pounding and my heart racing?!? I am both thrilled and intimidated...in my bliss and wishing I could bail.
My goal to do more of this kind of passionate and purposeful work--helping couples navigate the transition to retirement--is being realized today. However, I notice that I want to be expert at it without the learning curve jitters.
Does your goal scare you? Do you wonder what getting what you say you want will require of you? It is easy to talk ourselves out of making positive changes when we consider the costs we may incur. The disruption to routine, the risk to ego as we stumble along the way, the discipline required to shift an ingrained habit, the learning required in every new venture...we can make a convincing case to stay stuck. And yet, we are encouraged and provoked to move forward by the poet Mary Oliver, who asks, "what will you do with your one wild and precious life?"
The coaching tip I offer is that it is impossible to be anxious and curious at the same time. There is neuroscience data to support this factoid. When you are helping an anxious coachee take the first step into a new way of being, use your questions to get them curious about the learning journey, rather than anxious about getting it all perfect. Reframe mistakes or missteps as experiments. An experiment cannot fail because it always provides data to guide the next move.