In my Noble Life Parent Presentation as well as my parent workshops on "Teaching Children About Sex" I talk about an amazing government study.
If parents would do just one thing, they would lower the likelihood of their teen
- using tobacco by 63%
- using alcohol by 40%
- using marijuana by 38%
- having sex by 33%
They would raise the likelihood of their teen
- getting higher grades by 23%.
What is the activity?
Eat dinner with your teen at least five times per week.
Studies also found that family activities and attending church together produced similar results.
The effectiveness of this activity is not in its planning nor in its activity. The effectiveness is in its routine. Regular routine time that your children know they will have you.
I want to challenge you to expand your routine time. What other regular time do you have on a one-on-one basis with each of your children? How about your spouse? Beyond meal times, some ideas could be:
- walking the dog
- shooting basketball
- a ride in the car
- grocery shopping
- listening to music
- a service project
It just needs to be every week and provide an opportunity to talk.
Going to a movie, reading a book, or watching TV does not promote conversation.
Don't worry about it being boring. In fact, boring promotes conversation because there is not much else to do.
In our sophisticated media world, we too often seek the magical and dismiss the easy. The best thing you can do to improve your relationship with your kids and/or your spouse is to have routine time.
(Coley, R. L., Medeiros, B. L., & Schindler, H. S. (2008). Using Sibling Differences to Estimate Effects of Parenting on Adolescent Sexual Risk Behaviors. Journal of Adolescent Health, 43(2), 133-140. Retrieved from http://download.journals.elsevierhealth.com/pdfs/journals/1054-139X/PIIS1054139X08001018.pdf) (The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA). (2010, September). The Importance of Family Dinners VI. Retrieved from http://www.casacolumbia.org/download.aspx?path=/UploadedFiles/1intfzad.pdf) (The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA). (2012, September). The Importance of Family Dinners VIII. Retrieved from http://www.casacolumbia.org/download.aspx?path=/UploadedFiles/qdeuo13u.pdf)