"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry." - Oscar Wilde, playwright,
1890
"To ordain [a relationship] with a piece of paper just feels like it makes things worse... Those relationships ...were pretty good before the marriage and then something happens." - Charlie Sheen, actor, 2011
Today's divorce rates, cohabitation rates, out-of-wedlock births, and celebrity relationships make our teen's believe these quotes. Are they true?
A recent study of 123 women over eighteen years asked about their marital satisfaction in their 40's, then their 50's and then their 60's.
Marital satisfaction increased with each passing decade.
The study found that marital satisfaction was not linked to changing husbands, as some previous researchers had suggested. Increased marital satisfaction was linked to
- "Empty nest." Women whose children had grown and left home had higher marital satisfaction than women with children at home.
-
Quality time. Just because the wives had more time with their husbands during the empty nest did not account for the higher marital satisfaction. Women actually rated their enjoyment of time with their husband as increasingly more satisfying.
The researchers found that even some marriages that were difficult and rocky early turn out to be better later. Marriages that live through a great deal of turmoil can eventually discover a deep and solid foundation on which to anchor their relationship.
Make sure your teen's view of marriage is based on reality and not Hollywood's negative illusion.
If your marriage is more of a struggle than more satisfying, give me a call at 972-342-0753. I do marriage coaching over the phone, skype, and/or email. I want to help.
(Wilde, O. (1893). A Woman of No Importance. Kindle Edition.)
(Sheen Won't Marry Again. (2011, September 20).The Toronto Sun.
http://www.torontosun.com/2011/09/20/sheen-wont-marry-again)
(Gorchoff, S. M., John, O. P., & Helson, R. (2008). Contextualizing change in marital satisfaction during middle age: An 18-year longitudinal study. Psychological Science, 19, 1194-1200.)
(Santrock, John (2010). Life-Span Development (13th ed). Kindle Edition.)
