STEP ONE:
Write down the five most important people to you.
STEP TWO:
On a scale of 1 to 20 rate what each of these people thinks of you. 20 means they think you are the greatest person on the planet. 1 means they wish you were not on the planet. 10 means they don't care if you are on the planet or not. Write this number beside each of your five names.
STEP THREE:
Add your five numbers. This total (on a 100-point scale) corresponds to how you feel about yourself. Did you get a passing grade in self-esteem?
STEP FOUR:
List all the things you do to increase the people in step one and/or their rating of you in step two. Also list what you do to avoid rejection or a lower rating. This list can include your
- clothes
- hair style
- car
- house
- career
- Facebook page
- the latest smartphone
- choice of friends
- date
- spouse
- school
- college
- church
- etc. etc. etc.
Now list how you hide even your slightest imperfections. Even list the crazy things you do to just to be accepted. Your list in step four shows you how important your step-three number is to you.
PORNOGRAPHY VULNERABILITY:
I am going to get personal to show how this exercise reveals my pornography vulnerability. When my step-four efforts are at a maximum, and my step-three number is still low, I have the greatest temptation for pornography. I believe its lies.
- Pornography is ever-ready to please me.
- I don't have to work for the people in pornography to want to be intimate with me.
- There is no risk of rejection.
- It meets my needs.
None of these are true but I believe they are due to my low self-esteem.
THE ANSWER TO PORNOGRAPHY VULNERABILITY:
How do I fight this pornography vulnerability?
The answer is back in step one. Did you write down the name of Jesus Christ? If you did, then on a scale of 1 to 20, He rates you 100. That gives you a perfect score in step three. Now in step four, list all the things Jesus did to accept you.
- He left heaven to come to earth.
- He was humiliated and horribly punished.
- He died for you.
- He accepts you and loves you even though you sin.
- He wants you to live with Him for eternity.
When I base my self-esteem on what Jesus thinks of me, I have no desire for the false promises of pornography.
"I pray that you, being rooted ... in love, may have power ... to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled ... of all the fullness of God."
Ephesians 3:17-19 (NIV)
