Growing Up Is Hard

           Just about one month ago our youngest granddaughter was born. A baby is always so special - God's opinion that the world should go on! We're told this will be our last grandchild, so there's something extra special about enjoying Madelyn's first days and weeks. There won't be another opportunity to grasp such tiny fingers, stroke such silky hair, and cuddle such a tiny life - at least in the Tanksley family.

            Caring for a brand new baby is a full-time job - a job Mommy and Daddy do with joy, at least most of the time. And yet there is nothing more tragic than a baby that doesn't develop normally. A parent's real job is to work themselves out of a job, doing everything possible to help their child grow up. If that doesn't happen the pain is enormous.

There is joy in a human family when a new baby is born. And there is even greater joy in heaven and among God's people when a soul is born again. A new spiritual baby becomes part of the family! And just as in a human family, our Heavenly Father does all He can help us grow up. Let's talk about spiritual maturity - the growing up we sometimes struggle with.

love.

Old in Years, Immature in Spirit

          Growing up is hard to do! And the passing of years is no guarantee that our inner being is growing in line with our physical body. I remember a time when I realized I was clearly an adult physically, but emotionally and spiritually I was very immature. I had a lot of hard growing up to do. And that growing up can be frustrating, slow, and difficult!

I'm sure we can all think of people we know who illustrate how physical adulthood does not equal maturity:

You know the retired grandmother who no one wants to be around. She's always complaining about the terrible things life has done to her. Her health is poor. She's bitter and lonely. If you try and offer help it's never enough. Even her physical body appears shriveled and sad. She's always unhappy, always demanding help, and then she criticizes anyone trying to offer that help.

Or there's the middle-aged deacon who has a spiritual answer for everything. His kids left home at the first opportunity: they couldn't take the micromanagement and constant put-downs any longer. His wife has either deteriorated into a doormat, or has left him. He has quoted the same Bible verses for 30 years. And yet his secret life is filled with sexual indiscretions, financial cheating, and broken hearts.

Perhaps these are some of the more extreme examples, but they show the end result if we don't grow up on the inside. I believe this internal spiritual immaturity is at least one reason even Christian leaders too often "fall." Need a Scripture for this? Even Jesus needed to develop both in body and in spirit. (See Luke 2:52 and Hebrews 5:8) As cute as babies are, we human beings - even Jesus in His human form - must grow up both on the outside and on the inside.

And when you think of the bigger impact on the Kingdom of God, how many people may have been turned away from God because of the abrasive, destructive, inconsistent, and immature words and actions of those who claim to be His children? Yes, it's important we learn to look at Him and not at people. But WE are the first Jesus most people experience. Shouldn't we become more and more like Him the longer we belong to Him?

The Journey of Spiritual Growth

           We all start out as babies spiritually. And the angels rejoice! It's appropriate to rejoice with them. The joy in heaven is wonderful to celebrate on earth.

            And then the growing begins. We learn more about God, Who He is, what living for Him is all about, and something of what He wants for us. We try and fail, and hopefully learn something of dependence and faith. Life is joyful and meaningful for the most part. We learn to see our lives as God sees them, at least to some degree.

            And then we come to a crisis of faith. We see another Christian - or many Christians - living anything but Christian lives. We face a serious life-altering experience and ask, "Why, God?" The God we thought we knew and the God we believe we are experiencing seem different. We face a wall.

            Think about this: have you ever grown up in some significant way when things were easy? Probably not. A crisis CAN lead to significant maturity and growth. A lot depends on what happens at those moments of crisis. All kinds of "stuff" may come into play, including such things as anger, shame, guilt, powerlessness, hurt, confusion, weariness, disillusionment, and more. We may not even realize until later how important those dark moments can be.

            At those dark times in our spiritual journey there are two things to remember:

1. God is there, even if we don't see Him.
2. We have a choice in how we respond.

            I know without a doubt that whatever measure of spiritual maturity I have developed has come through hard times. I honestly believe God does not enjoy our suffering. He does not want us to hurt. But He has a way of taking things that are tragic or traumatic or painful, and transforming them into beautiful aspects of our character.

The dead and dying things of our lives He can truly transform into diamonds!

 What It Looks Like

What does a spiritually mature person look like? (And remember, this has nothing to do with years!) There's certainly more to spiritual growth than this short article can illustrate, but it does help to know where we are headed, where God is working to take us.

We know spiritual maturity would NOT look like a Pharisee. Or a Judas. Or a "doubting Thomas." It might look, of course, a lot like Jesus.

But let's suggest a few concrete characteristics of what this spiritual maturity would include:

• Strength and courage: not swayed easily by other's opinions, confident in one's own relationship with God
• Kind and generous: looking out more for the needs of others than one's own
• Aware of one's own weaknesses: conscious of one's own humanity, and willing to allow God and others to bring correction when needed
• Flexible emotionally: able to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice, and to express all human emotions when appropriate
• Response to trouble: responds with honesty, willing to bring the "big" questions to God Himself, accepts help
• Lives with integrity: does what he/she says and says what he/she does, no hidden agenda or hidden skeletons