By John Cappello

 

Every good parent knows the routine of caring for a child or children. It is expected that parents be one or two steps ahead of their precious offspring and over time it is no big deal. New parents must adjust because newborns teach them quickly that their needs are first and the consequences of not making them first can be interesting to say the least. Crying babies and unruly children can be annoying but when they are not around there is a sense of loss. Where are they? What are they doing? These questions and a bunch more run through a parents' mind when the routine is broken from giving their child care. The moments of quiet and serenity usually do not last long because the child will awake or come home from an activity. The joyous chaos returns and caregiving resumes. Parents often complain about the work they must do to care for a child or children but if a tragedy occurs the impositions created by parenthood are forgotten to the point of them never existing.

 

The loss of a child is probably the most unimaginable event in a person's life. It is said the grief from this type of loss is the most devastating of all to a person and most never fully recover from it. The unnatural event of a parent burying a child is not only life altering for the parents but for everyone associated with the young person in question. When losing a child there is often a sense of failure around a parent and those around them. Whether it be from illness, accident or a violent reason a parent feels somewhat responsible for the situation. "I wonder if I did enough for my child?" or "Where did I go wrong?" are often questions parents and others ask of themselves.

 

When a child dies prematurely it is rarely the intentional fault of anyone associated with them. There are countless reasons as to why a child perishes and when it happens there is a natural grief cycle associated with the event. It is when a family experiences this loss that special virtues are necessary to be observed. These virtues can only be suggestions since every situation is different but as a medium I have observed that when the following virtues are practiced the grief cycle has a better chance of being managed.

 

The first virtue to be practiced by grieving parents is a renewed commitment to each other. It is this relationship that often suffers when a child is lost.  Parents nurturing each other helps with grief. Coming together and knowing that each parent is there for each other can be a critical aspect for recovery. The health of the first relationship, if the parents are together, is essential. If a parent is alone then extended family and friends may be in this role. The support from those closest to the issue can make a huge difference. Devotion to those closest to you and other children in the family is important.  Taking care of oneself by practicing this virtue eases the pain of the natural sense of loss of losing a child.

 

Other virtues can assist in the healing process and I will briefly mention them here. A parent must not lose their confidence in themselves. It is important to believe in oneself and continue to be assertive in life. Confidence can assist in the healing process. Another important virtue is creativity. Being creative and expressing our sadness through art or some other expression can help us. It might be a trip to a special place that the parent had always wanted to take. This type of creative escape can be healthy and healing at the same time. Forbearance is another virtue that we do not talk much about these days but the ability to exhibit self-control and patience is a trait that allows us to regain a sense of normalcy.

 

There is no substitute for professional care in this situation but practicing virtues and using the energy from them can be helpful and inspire the regaining of a healthy perspective in life. We learn more every day about the continuity of life and this fact may be the greatest comfort of all. Realizing that a child was only lost in the physical world but remains with us spiritually can be a healing moment. It is always such a gift when a child appears in a reading and lets us know they are okay and enjoying their time in the spirit world.

 

It is not for us to determine why or when a person's journey in this life is completed. We must follow our own path to the fullest and complete our own destiny. Some people come into our lives for a brief time while others remain with us for a lifetime. Children are the most special people we know and we want them to grow up and prosper in life, however; sometimes this does not happen in our world. We miss them when they are not creating the chaos we sometimes experience with them in this life but when they have lost their life it is different. The chaotic times are often the times we grow to cherish the most when they are in spirit. Knowing and accepting the fact that we continue beyond our physical presence is a virtue worth remembering and it is there to give us comfort if we experience the tragic loss of a child.

 

 

 

 
by Carolyn Autiello
June 2012

Join me for an evening with spirit at Miracles of Joy on August 21, 2015.  This event is an opportunity to communicate with loved ones who have crossed over into the Spirit World.  During a Spirit Gallery evidence of the continuity of life is presented to members of the audience.  The greater the detail the more it is certain a connection has been made with a specific person in spirit. 

Here are the details again for you to make plans:
Date: August 21, 2015
Place: Miracles of Joy
           701 Old Orchard Road
           Lewisville, Texas 75067

Price: $35.00 in advance and $40.00 at the the door

Thank you for being a valued subscriber.

John Cappello

Visionary Workshop, LLC
P O Box 271496
Flower Mound, Texas 75027-1496
888-440-7130