Grief, Memories and Honor

Every month, I write a new article about grief, and this month I want to focus my thoughts on a unique perspective on healing. There are no defined time limits when it comes to recovery, but there are moments of joy that can be part of the healing process. These moments can be brought forth with a memory of a crossed-over loved one. The joy of reliving a positive memory of someone you cared deeply about raises your energy and can bring a smile to your face. A memory is not only a brief moment of feeling normal, but it is a method to honor the person you loved. Honor is a virtue worth discussing when you are recovering from grief.

We honor those we love in spirit by recounting a good time within our minds, or by sharing it with others. It is especially good to share the memory of a loved one in spirit with children or with those who may benefit from a story about someone we knew at one time. There could be a moral to a story or a similar incident that could be relevant to a current situation. This month, it may be the memory of a father, grandfather, or a father figure in your life. Memories are part of the legacy a person leaves once they have crossed over. Recounting memories honors the person in spirit and can have a beneficial effect in your life.

When I work with a client, it is the memories of a person in spirit that are foremost in a reading. The person in spirit usually brings up an incident that can be verified by the client. The memory is evidence of the continuity of life, and this is very comforting to the people the person in spirit left behind. Sometimes the incident cannot be verified by my client immediately, but the memory is verified later. This is a moment that can bring additional healing after a reading. People not only want to heal from their grief, they want to honor the memory of someone they love.

Memories are just moments in time, but when you are healing, they can be a valuable tool. We heal moment to moment, and we cherish the memories for the normalcy they bring to us when we are sad. Piecing these times together and having longer and longer periods of normalcy bring our happiness back. These are the times when we can escape grief, and the memories force us to forget our sadness. Good memories help us honor those we have lost and who are in spirit; however, the greatest honor they may produce is that to our personal well-being and peace of mind.

This year marks the 71st anniversary of the Allied invasion of Europe also known as D Day.  It was a day that my father played a role as a merchant marine.  He was unloading tanks, weapons and helping troops storm the beach.  I took this picture with him when I was seven years old.

The article was lost to our family when a lady found me on Facebook and contacted me.  She knew my parents and had cut out the article. She had saved it for 50 years! She asked me if I wanted it and I said "yes."  She sent it to me and I thought it would be good to share it with you this Father's Day. 

Many of us had dads and grandfathers who fought in World War II and they are leaving us in great numbers these days.  My memory of my father is very vivid and my pride in his accomplished is very special.  I hope you share the same pride in your family members who served as well.

Read the full article here (Re-typed):

D Day Article from 1964 

John Cappello 

© Jayne Wallislush

May 2011

Each day I wake to start a day that's normal as can be.
Some cooking, cleaning, paperwork, as busy as a bee.

But everyday the thoughts of you that buzz around my head distract me from this busy life and I stop to think instead.

Baking cakes and trifles that I made and brought to you and the smile you gave so thankful for these little treats I'd do.

You never let things get you down you took them in your stride, you cared and loved us ALL Dad with such gratitude and pride.

The whole world could be screaming but you it never phased.
For this dear Dad and a whole lot more, I'ts you we have to praise.

I hope you know how proud I was to have you in my life,
How proud you made my sisters and of course your loving wife,

We miss you everyday Dad our lives are not the same,
The ache in our hearts that once you filled just will not go away.

So strange as it may seem Dad as I stand here loosing patience, with this endlessness of cooking and a list of hungry patients,

I take a while to calm myself and my thoughts are all of you, For you make me smile you had that affect on everyone you knew.

As a Father and a Husband no man could take your place, I'm so thankful you were in my life you will never be replaced.