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Grief and Being Dependable
by John Cappello The challenges of living within a grief cycle are numerous and they can be serious. One of these challenges is the appearance that  everything in your world just stopped! It can be difficult to recognize that you continue to have to take care of your obligations while you are experiencing grief. Suffering from depression can cause the inability to operate beyond your immediate needs and concerns. You may just want to be isolated and sheltered. As a result, it may become very difficult to be reliable at any given time. When you are struggling with grief you can become forgetful or lethargic. Your sadness may keep you from practicing the virtue of dependability. When you are in grief, your awareness of the world can narrow, and you may not be able to see the need to participate in your regular activities. Grief may take you over if you have not made the decision to heal and if this decision is not reinforced on a regular basis. It is not an easy proposition to think about your routine or others when you are depressed, and you may not feel up to handling essential obligations that keep your life and the lives of others balanced. Loss, grief and depression can be merciless, so you must try to detach from it when it comes to meeting your obligations. Sometimes just going through the motions of your normal routine can be helpful because it is a deliberate decision.It can make the action more satisfying in the long run or when you recover. The affirmation you can make is a simple, "I can do this." These four words may be all you need to regain your reliability. A conscious effort to remain or become dependable sends many positive messages, first, to your psyche and then to others. It is a demonstration that you are trying to maintain normalcy in your life and that you are acting proactively with respect to your situation. It shows that you are not giving up, and that you are willing to be or become independent of others. It is a dignified signal to the world that you are working on being "okay." There are times when it may become necessary to create "devices" to help you stay on track. Making notes about your daily routine and the support of friends and relatives will help. Little things like tying string around one of your fingers can be a helpful hint to keep you on time! If you need further help then seeing a therapist or your doctor may give you relief. They may be able to give you advice or medication to assist you on your personal journey. An event causing grief often changes lives permanently, and it may become necessary to adjust your routine or removing commitments altogether to meet your new circumstances. Being dependable means making changes responsibly and prioritizing the most important aspects of your life. You should be realistic about your needs and not keep commitments that are no longer relevant. Needs are often fluid in nature during these times and your awareness of them is necessary. The benefits of being dependable can be a path to overcoming grief. Staying on time for work, and keeping up with family obligations or even a scheduled event for a hobby can make a difference for you when you are suffering. It is part of being good to you. There is a satisfaction that comes with being on time for you and for those around you. It is always nice to be welcomed by others when you simply show up when expected. Dependability means demonstrating that you love yourself and those who remain in your life. | 
memories of her are good. This month we think of our mom's and pay tribute to them because of the role they have played in our life. If you are a mom then I hope that Mother's Day brings you a special joy.
