This month I wanted to discuss another area of grief that is often a reason for clients to seek out my services as a medium. Every form of grief has nuances that I try to identify with my articles. Each of them is difficult, but some forms of grief tend to be inherently more severe. The grief over a death caused from an act of violence, for example, is one area of the discussion that is particularly difficult.   When there is a conscious act that harms another individual, the trauma surrounding this act affects surviving friends and relatives in a unique manner.

The sense of violation, anger, and helplessness can be overwhelming to those suffering this type of loss. Survivors often confirm that a day does not go by that they do not think of their loved one in spirit. They cannot understand the senselessness of taking the life of another person. Some consolation can be achieved when a perpetrator of an act of violence is held accountable, but the loss of a human life can never be fully reconciled since the deceased loved one cannot simply be returned to life as they knew it. Just watching crime shows on television with real-life people can give you a sense of the pain a violent act can cause loved ones.

When a person dies from an act of violence and they find they are in spirit, they know they are in a safe place and that no harm can be done to them again. They are beyond the trauma of the loss of their life. The person in spirit has a different perspective than those of us in the living. People in spirit are forgiving and at peace. They are reflective and understanding because they know they will see their loved ones again one day. It is senseless to be anything but forgiving. These individuals may feel they did not accomplish everything they had wanted to do in life, but they trust the universe and accept their situation. It is true that issues from this life may need to be addressed in another incarnation but for now they are in a place of peace and safety.

It is the people left behind who must deal with the aftermath of a crime.  The loss of a child, spouse, other family member, or even a friend all have unique issues associated with them. It is not uncommon for a sense of survivor's guilt to plague loved ones in the living. Forgiveness and time are not always enough to release the pain caused by a violent act. In addition to the virtues that I discuss so often, there are other tools which can assist with relieving grief.

• Make a conscious effort to make affirmations about healing.
• Stay positive and affirm that recovery is possible. This helps the process move forward.
• Affirm that a new normal exists without a loved one as this can be a catalyst to change your life and create new possibilities.
• Acknowledge life after death and know positively that a loved one will be seen again.

Grief has many tentacles to it; therefore, it is necessary to use tools to conquer it and recover. Virtues and affirmations are just a couple of resources available to help us in the process. Qualified grief therapists and groups are other resources. Next month, I will discuss another form of grief and additional tools that can be employed to assist with overcoming it.

The Scars of Violence from Lifetime to Lifetime

by Natalie Cappello

All of us are touched by violence at some point in our lives, whether something happens to us personally or to someone we love. Even worse, many of us have experienced a loss due to violence. This holds true for our past lives as well.   While we are in spirit, most of us are in a place of peace and forgiveness. However, we return to human bodies to learn lessons and work through our issues from our past.   Back here on earth, the damage caused from experiences of past lives can resurface. We carry with us the scars of the past, and they can stick with us from lifetime to lifetime.

Traumas of the past can manifest themselves in emotional and even physical symptoms. People may have physical ailments for which there are no explanations, or they may have unfounded fears or recurring nightmares.

However, during meditation or regression, we are able to bring these experiences to our conscious memory. Identification is the first step on the road to healing. When we see that the events were from another time and place, we are able to disconnect and put them in their proper perspective...events in the past. Finally, we ask to let go. It sounds simple, but it can be life-changing.

To learn, grow, and heal....that is our job here on earth. We play these roles together with other souls in our soul group to help each other progress. More on soul groups in next month's article....

"My husband and I had the pleasure of attending one of John's gallery readings in Denver, Colorado. We did this as an anniversary gift to ourselves. We had a big year and wanted to try to connect with loved ones and get some validation on some major life/career changes we made. John was able to connect both my husband and I with loved ones on the other side. His description of my mother was so accurate! He hit the nail on the head when he spoke of all of the jewelry she was known to wear. This was such a well-known characteristic of hers and was such a precious memory to me. I used to dig through her jewelry box and play dress-up in it as a very little kid. He brought up all kinds of things no one but my mother and I would ever know.

I showed up with a checklist of things I wanted to talk about like career and my finances but I am glad that I got the reading I did. I was seeking comfort and security when I reached out to John, thinking it would come if I knew how many zeros I could expect to see in my bank account. What I got was true comfort and security - the knowledge that, just like when I was a little kid playing dress-up in her jewelry, my mother watches over me all the time. She keeps me company. If you open your heart and your mind and allow spirit to do some work on you, John can give you a reading that is cohesive and easy to understand. For us, his words spoke straight to the heart of the core issues of our family's life. I received great comfort from my reading with John and urge you to take a chance and see what spirit has in store for you, too!"

Sunny & Tino Trujillo

Denver, Colorado