When asked to describe her family, Brenda will simply tell you, "We are a little family of three." That is a simple description of a much more complex family dynamic.

Taylor (15), Brenda and Brady (12)

Brenda's family used to include a husband, the father of her two sons, Taylor and Brady. Her marriage to this National Football League (NFL) player was a happy, faith-filled union. After eighteen months of marriage, they were blessed with their first son, Taylor. Three years later another son, Brady, entered Brenda's world. Soon thereafter, however, when Brady was diagnosed with autism, her husband left it.

"I honestly think it was just too much for him to bear," explains Brenda. "He was a godly man, but sometimes the flesh just takes over. It would have been one thing if he left me. But he left the country. And his boys. They have not seen him in nearly nine years."

Early in their marriage, Brenda and her husband lived a life of privilege. She left her family in Washington State to follow him and his NFL career to Houston, Long Island, Atlanta, and Washington, D.C. Around the time Brady was diagnosed with autism, Brenda's husband was injured. His career was impacted. So was his family.

"He moved to Canada and I was left with all of the responsibilities, including debt that I could not pay on my own. I honestly did not know how I could go on. My entire family was on the other side of the country. Brady needed constant care. Taylor needed attention. I had to work to pay the bills. I was broken. But I didn't have the option of running away. I was first and foremost a mom, and had to find a way to carry on for the sake of my sons. Masking my feelings every day and pretending I was fine was, and sometimes still is, the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

Up until the time he was four years old, when he uttered the word "mommy," Brady was non-verbal. His primary method of communication was screaming. "He screamed all the time," said Brenda. "It was exhausting for me, but it was devastating for Taylor. We couldn't go anywhere. We couldn't invite his friends over. We couldn't even pop in a movie and enjoy time at home because of the chaos. My immediate family was not here to help or give me a break. We were basically prisoners in our own home."

Brenda was first introduced to the concept of respite through McLean Bible Church's Access Ministry. "This was such a gift for me," explained Brenda. "The best part is that I could take both of my children there and get a total break for just a few hours. My friends expected me to use that time shopping, or going to see a movie. But I was physically, spiritually and emotionally spent. So I chose to drop off my kids, climb back into my car, recline my seat, and sleep for the four hours they were in Access. My car didn't leave the parking lot."

Brady is growing up fast!

Brady, now twelve, is a precious child with an infectious smile, but his autism causes him to respond in ways that can be both aggressive and unpredictable. This is very difficult for Brenda to handle. "He's taller than me now, and his doctor expects him to reach the full 6' 6" height of his dad," explains Brenda. "I am totally insecure when we need to go out in public. Even though he has medications to control some of his behaviors, the outbursts still come unexpectedly, and I literally cannot physically control him when they do."

"Brady has now been to Jill's House three months in a row, and it is truly something he lives for. His favorite part is chapel. He adores 'Mr. Brad' who leads the children in worship each Sunday. Brady has even made new friends, like a boy named Will. I haven't met Will because this is the first friend that Brady has made on his own! I have made new friends with the other single mothers, too. We all come from very different walks of life, but we all have one very strong common bond -- raising a child with an intellectual disability on our own."

"Life isn't easy for our little family of three, but we are blessed in so many ways. And knowing that for one weekend every month Brady can be celebrated at Jill's House, and Taylor and I can just do whatever we want is such a gift," continued Brenda. "Jill's House does so much more than give us time. It literally feeds our souls."

Brady's big brother, Taylor, in action.

"I pray for my ex-husband every day. He is missing out on so much. Taylor is following in his footsteps as a talented football player at Centreville High School. While we don't discuss it, I know that Taylor misses having his dad in the stands cheering him on. But luckily, he is surrounded by many friends from our church family who love and support him. And while the word 'autism' may have been something my ex-husband couldn't comprehend or handle, it doesn't define Brady. My Brady-boy is talented, funny, and has an innocent joy that just can't be described unless you meet him. I mourn that his dad can't know and appreciate Brady for the beautiful child that he is."

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As head of this first-of-its-kind facility, Jill's House President and CEO, Cameron Doolittle, was invited to share about the impact Jill's House is having on families at the ISBA Respite Conference held earlier this month in Toronto.

ISBA delegates learned of Jill's House innovative respite program.

"The outcome variable that we're trying to move is stress," said Doolittle. "As we know, families of children with severe intellectual disabilities experience 60 percent more stress than the rest of the population. That stress hurts marriages, reduces attention available to typical siblings, increases depression and anxiety, and ultimately compounds the child's delays."

"Many of us who offer respite feel in our bones that it's working, but don't know how to develop the data to prove it," said Doolittle. "We have the data to prove that overnight respite is having the desired effects."

"While all respite is good, we've found that the overnight respite in which Jill's House specializes is especially efficient. When we care for children every day of the week, for 40 hours, stress drops 52 percent. That's good. But when we care for a child for just one night -- about 18 hours -- stress drops 59 percent."

Jill's House overnight respite delivers the most stress reduction per hour of respite given.

Since the conference, Jill's House has fielded professional inquiries from Germany, New Zealand, Australia, and Canada, in addition to several domestic inquiries. We are delighted that God has provided us with the chance to deliver this innovative service, and to share its success with leading social services professionals around the globe.