Pain is unavoidable in the span of a human life. We are all wounded. We all wound.  In Indian mythology, the child that became Ganesha is wounded by his father (if you count decapitation as a wound). I won't tell that story here, but if you have a few minutes, check out Dr.Douglas Brooks' retelling of this story on yogaglo: Dr. Brooks on Ganesha.

We each experience wounding in necessary ways. We have "first wounds." We are pushed from the womb and the cord is cut.   We are imprinted. We receive the world through our imprinting. To over simplify, we were held too much, or not enough (and surely some of both). We carry imprints (samskaras) of abandonment and suffocation.

I had some good fortune to be reared with notions of yogic perfection and flawlessness. I was trained to subvert my emotions with mantra and other meditation techniques. I can efficiently access inner places of stillness and states of euphoric "bliss." Yogic values of equanimity and steadiness and stoic self-sufficiency were modeled and taught to me. I learned not to show my vulnerabilities and wounds, but to emulate the 'perfected ones' that had walked the path ahead of me.

These lessons have served me well in much of my life. They have enabled me to navigate the twists and turns of my life path and to steadily push forward through adventure after adventure. Like the mountain climber, I can focus on each step of the climb, juggle the contingencies and negotiate the forces use the best skill necessary to scale each section of cliff and make steady progress to a peak.

Of course, these lessons have also disadvantaged me. Deeper inquiry into my own psychology and the skills sets required for deeper interpersonal relationships, do not flow from me naturally. Intimacy requires vulnerability--deliberate vulnerability with those who are most dear.

First wounds can't be helped-I see it as a parent-my mistakes become my child's pain. 

"Second wounds" also occur throughout our lives. These are ways we choose to both wound and heal ourselves. In Indian myth, Ganesha breaks off his tusk to scribe the great epic Mahabharata. This is a second wound, the wound of choice, the thoughtful self-wounding of an adult consciousness. It is the declaration of one's deeper values; "This is who I am. This is what I value. These are my contributions to the world." Among other choices, my second wounds have taken the form of the choice to marry, to father, to expand a yoga school. It has been a series of choices to sink more deep roots in my personal life and professional lives.

This season has me breaking my tusk in deeper intra/interpersonal work. I find myself wandering inside and looking into the shadows of my consciousness, to those overlooked and neglected places, into those "glowing eyes that look back at me," to quote J.R.R. Tolkien. I don't want to avoid being vulnerable. To the contrary, I want to be more honest and to embrace those parts of myself that I have banished into shadow. We all have shadows. To use Tolkien as my muse once again--unless we stand our ground and pursue our inner demons to their bottomless depths, they will lurk within and eat away at the light.

If we wish to live in the light then sometimes we must deepen the darkness. If we are to be healthy, we must embrace our vulnerabilities and wounds.  

In this season of gratitude, I wish you the opportunity to honestly search your own glowing eyes, and the courage to seize any opportunity to know your wounds. Wounds may or may not heal or scar, but seeking to understand and explore will undoubtedly lead to hard won improvement.  

Sort of like yoga.   

Speaking of yoga, look up and down and to the right to see all about our yoga offerings.  We are OPEN FOR CLASSES in L.A. and loving seeing you all so often.  Our Online Yogi Business course starts next week and we are having a SALE on all of our products for one week so if you are planning on studying with us, now is a great time to take advantage of a great discount on trainings, which will last for one week only. It's still possible to join our 200 hour training in Portland and our 300 hour training in Los Angeles, which are just getting underway.  

The kids are still thriving (the pictures tell the best story), and

     With love and gratitude for each of you.  Noah