DAMAGE CONTROL THROUGH SELECTIVITY

Have you ever wondered, "How did I end up here? I don't want this! Was it fate, or was it something I did?"

More than likely, it was something you DIDN'T do! The reason you ended up in an unwanted place is because you didn't plan and didn't strive for where you actually wanted to end up!

In order to end up where you want to end up you have to THINK. You have to think about the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to have. And then you must develop your own plan to get you there. And then you must act to follow your plan!

When you don't take the time and make the effort to think, you take the easy, mindless route of a robot simply reacting to "cues." You make yourself vulnerable to physical and psychological damage and you end up with a life you don't think you chose. But you DID CHOOSE not to think!

When you choose not to think, you end up living your life by your momentary feelings or distractions - which make life seem meaningless. You try to fix your empty feeling by living through other people - or by escaping into excessive eating, sleeping, shopping, TV watching, Internet surfing, drinking, or drugs. And then you wonder why you are miserable and unhappy.   

Make Every Moment of Your Life Count

You can choose whether your life is a work of art or a wreck. You yourself create your quality of life by how you spend your time and your energy. By being highly selective, your thoughts, choices, and actions "carve out" the work of art that is your unique, one-of-a-kind life.

Why does every moment count? Because you've only got one precious life and it can be over sooner than you think! You don't have time to "goof off" because you want to make every moment of your life wonderful, not just some moments. Likewise, you have a limited amount of energy, so you want to spend it on what's most important to you, not on what's least important.

To do this you need a clear idea of how you want your life to be, and then you need to use your time and energy to achieve that ideal. Every unthinking or random moment you spend is a moment subtracted from your chance to achieve the kind of life you want. Every extraneous or distracted use of your energy subtracts from the energy you have left to strive for what you want most. And you can never get your wasted time and energy back!      

HERE'S HOW TO GET STARTED

The way to achieve the kind of life you want is to be HIGHLY SELECTIVE about how you spend your time and energy:

1. Be Selective about the type of PERSON you want to be. What character traits would you like to develop in yourself? You can discover the answer by observing actual and fictional people you admire and picking out the traits that make them admirable to you.

2. Be Selective about the type of WORK you want to do. What do you enjoy doing? What is important to you? You can interview people in various fields of endeavor that excite you, and you can "try out" the ones that sound meaningful and rewarding to you.

3. Be Selective about the PEOPLE you associate with. What character traits and characteristics do you want in the people you spend your time, energy, and money with? What kinds of relationships do you want to engage in? You can observe all kinds of people and their relationships to see which ones have the character traits and characteristics that win your admiration.

4. Be Selective about the LIFESTYLE you want to live. What is your style? (Formal or informal?) What kind of work schedule do you want? (Fixed and dependable or varied and flexible?) What kind of living space do you want? (Large open rooms or small cozy rooms?) What kind of climate do you prefer? (Tropical or the four seasons?) What kinds of clothing do you prefer? (The latest fad, tailored and trim, or loose and flowing?) The same goes for hairdos, shoes, furniture, and everything else you choose to "live with." You can observe all kinds of lifestyles and see which ones reflect the style of life that appeals to you.

5. Be Selective about the PRODUCTS you buy. Do the products enhance your life or detract from it? Are the products well-made and reliable? Are the products produced in a country that treats its citizens with respect? Are the sellers honest and helpful, and do they represent a company that you admire? You can "vote" for the kind of world you want to live in and the way you want your life to be by purchasing products that bring you the most overall satisfaction.

6. Be Selective about how you take care of your HEALTH. Does what you eat, how you exercise, and how you rest contribute to your physical and psychological well being? Do you go to a competent, respectful doctor for health problems you cannot solve?  You can experiment to see which types and amounts of food, exercise, rest and doctor care are best for you.

7. Be Selective about your RECREATION.  Do you participate only in activities you enjoy? Are you selective about the books you read, the movies you see, the places you frequent, and the friends you visit? What about the music you listen to? You can explore a wide variety of music, books, movies, activities, places and friends to see which ones are the most uplifting for you.

8. Be Selective about what you SAY.  Does your verbal way of expressing yourself reflect the kind of man or woman you want to be? Do you think before you communicate, or do you blurt out anything that comes to mind? You can choose to consider your words in light of your best understanding. When you speak or write something, you can ask yourself how constructive your communication is and what effect it might have on both yourself and the person you are communicating with.

How Do You Know Which Selections To Make?

How do you know which options are worthy of your selection? What is your STANDARD for making your choices?

You use the very standard that you have set for yourself - your ideal of how you want yourself and your life to be - as your guide. Then you ask yourself, "Which kinds of work, character traits, relationships, lifestyles, products, health-maintenance activities, recreational activities, and verbal exchanges will help me become the kind of person I want to be and help me achieve the kind of life I want to live?"

By identifying your ideal of how you want yourself and your life to be, you have given yourself a way to be selective about the things you allow into your life. And as long as your ideal is a healthy one, it helps you minimize physical and psychological damage and maximize your enjoyment of your one, precious, irreplaceable life!

Note: To learn more about healthy vs. unhealthy "ideals," read   This Is Your Life: No Apology Needed, now available at Amazon as an eBook. Also available as paperback or CD at my website, www.YourRecipeForLivingCoach.com 

I'd love to hear how these steps work for you -- feel free to email me at Terry@YourRecipeForLivingCoach.com, or post a comment on my Break Free Blog at www.YourRecipeForLivingCoach.com. Please know that you are welcome to share this BREAK FREE TIP by forwarding this message to a friend or colleague.