• "I can't wait to find the love of my life...then I'll be happy!"

• "I can't wait to find a boss who recognizes my worth...then I'll be happy!"

• "I can't wait to have children...then I'll be happy!"  

• "I can't wait to have my name up in lights...then I'll be happy!"

What do all these statements have in common? They depend on other people to make you happy!

Good news! You don't have to wait for someone else to make you happy. You can make yourself into the kind of person who makes you happy!

How You Make Yourself Unhappy

First it helps to understand how you make yourself unhappy. Being unhappy includes feeling like you have to hide the "real" you, feeling insincere or fake, feeling unworthy or ashamed, feeling like you're a bad person, feeling uneasy or anxious about yourself, feeling plagued by self-doubt, or suffering from a sense of self-betrayal. These feelings can develop when:

1. Your beliefs are at odds with the facts of reality. When your beliefs don't match reality, you are torn between being true to your beliefs and being true to the truth. You experience this painful conflict every time you have to take action. And when you do take action, you experience a loss of integrity and a feeling of hypocrisy - no matter which way you decide.
    

2. You believe one way, but act another way. Whenever you act contrary to your convictions, you feel like you have violated your soul. This also leads to a loss of integrity by creating a huge gap between your values and your actions.


3. You turn your back on what's most important to you for the sake of something that is less important to you. This is equivalent to slapping your priorities in the face, and it makes you feel like a traitor to yourself.


4. You think that other people count, but you don't. This makes you think that your happiness doesn't matter: your job is to make other people happy, and forget yourself.  By putting other people on a pedestal and kicking yourself out of the human race, you end up feeling like a non-person - and depending on other people to fill your days with meaning and happiness.


5. You don't like what you're doing with the minutes, hours, and days of your life. You cannot experience a fulfilling, happy life when you are bored, or when your to-do list keeps you busy with things that are not meaningful, motivating, or exciting to you.

Replace Your Unhappiness With Happiness

The above habitual beliefs and actions turn you into your own worst enemy. But you have a choice! You can stay trapped in your old habits, or you can start concentrating on the things that are most important to you - and become your own best friend!

HERE'S HOW TO GET STARTED

Before doing anything else, you must make an important decision. No matter how you feel about yourself at any particular moment, you must decide to value yourself and your life. Only then will you feel motivated to improve your life by taking the following steps:

1. Discover and Do the things that are necessary for your survival.

2. Discover and Do the things that are most important to you.

3. Discover and Do things that are meaningful to you.

4. Discover and Do things that are fulfilling for you.

5. Discover and Do things that are exciting to you.

6. Discover and Do things that are fun for you.

There you have it! By concentrating on the things that promote your survival and happiness, you won't have time to indulge in the unconstructive thoughts and actions that make you unhappy.

The Result? Instead of feeling unhappy about yourself and your life, you will start to respect yourself and see your life as a happy adventure in which you are free to explore and do the things that make you feel most fully alive!

Note: To learn more about how to love living your life, read my book, This Is Your Life: No Apology Needed, now available at Amazon as an eBook. Also available as paperback or CD at my website, www.YourRecipeForLivingCoach.com