There are thousands of accounts of parents who hover: calling to wake up their child for college classes; calling professors to discuss grades; calling bosses to find out why their child didn't receive a raise; the list goes on and on.  A friend of mine works with a large tech company in close proximity to the HR department.  She recently told me that HR is always frustrated by parents of employees who call to discuss benefits, raises, etc.  {SIDE NOTE: the company isn't allowed to hire anyone under the age of 18}

So yes, it is many times much easier to just do it ourselves, whatever "it" is.  And yes, especially with younger children, you might have to redo "it". {Cue the time when our middle child washed a load of dry cleaning because she thought it was laundry.  Bonus: we got some really cute wool sweaters that suddenly fit her dolls.}  But the goal is to teach so that when our babies are on their own we are no longer parent/teacher but instead parent/friend.  Now is not the time to be best friend....that comes later when we've done our job.

Last thing: be sure to hold your children accountable for their tasks.  It is important to teach our children to do their best work, to represent themselves with pride, and to establish work ethic.  Think about the last project you had to complete: what if you hadn't done your best work?  Would you still get the raise/praise/whatever? We need to expect the same from our children.  As parents, we know when they are giving their best.  There is, of course, a line we don't want to cross when we hold high expectations for our children.  But kids can do more than we give them credit for, so let them know your expectations, teach them how to meet those expectations, and then hold them accountable.  When our oldest daughter was in fifth grade, she drew the chore stick to dust the living room.  I thanked her when she was finished, then as I walked through the living room, I noticed she had dusted around everything on the coffee table.  I called her back down and she laughed and said, "sorry."  She knew she hadn't given 100%.   Don't get me wrong: I tell my kids every single day that they are kids and they NEED to play, to relax, and that if they do their work well and correctly, it shouldn't take them more than 15 minutes to get it all done.  That leaves them with plenty of time to be a kid.  But we do expect that it's done correctly, otherwise, we aren't a team.  Here's a good way to explain it, especially to the little guys: "If I only cooked the chicken at dinner halfway, would that be okay?"  {salmonella ain't fun, friends....}

Please know, though, that it is important to keep our children safe, to monitor there actions, and to know the who/what/when/where/why.  But our children do need to learn accountability, a healthy sense of independence & confidence, and they do need to experience failure through trial and error.  Better to do this now than later in life when they have a family of their own to support.

Here is a great study entitled Helping or Hovering? The Effects of Helicopter Parenting on College Students' Well-Being.  Lots of good reading in the citations as well.