Around the time of New Year celebrations, many of us engage in a rather puzzling ritual. We choose this one particular time of year to try to change things. We resolve to "turn over a new leaf" - and then typically give up within a month or so, totally discouraged and resolved to failure.
This will be the third year in a row that Betty has made a New Year's resolution to lose weight. Last year she added "be more physically active" to the list. Betty says she is also determined to write the book that is swirling around in her head. Oh, and she would also apparently love to give up cigarettes.
She begins each new year with resolve, determination and good intentions....but, like over half of us who make resolutions, it all fades before the Spring bulbs have even broken the ground. Betty is left demoralized, self-deprecating and deflated. There is no weight loss. No regular exercise. No new non-smoker in the house. And sadly, no book...not even a draft.
So what goes wrong? 
Most people go into it too lightheartedly, with little thought or forward planning. Keeping a resolution involves a lot more than simply vowing to do something.
If you are not 100 % committed then it's not a resolution....but rather a wish, fantasy, a good idea.
Here is a list of "top ten tips" from the growing body of research. These success tips will help you make a resolution you CAN keep........
1.Be sure it is something you really want, rather than something you feel you should do or something you are doing for someone else. Changing habits is hard work. If you do decide to go for it, then you have to make it a personal non-negotiable commitment.
2.Be specific and concrete. Instead of vowing to "lose weight", be more specific: one kilo by the end of the month. Words like "more", "better" or "less" are too vague. State your goal in incremental, measurable, specific terms. For example: " walk for at least 20 minutes three times a week" rather than "exercise more".
3. Make it achievable. Start small: set your goals as short, manageable steps rather than one giant leap. Don't expect to manage to run a marathon next month when currently you get breathless just strolling round the block! Re-define your goals as you steadily make progress towards your ultimate objective.
4. Turn your goal into an action, something you can actually DO...and make sure you specify HOW exactly you are going to put your goals into action (you may need to do some research here). Tell others what you are trying to achieve; this accountability helps you stick to your plan.
5. Accentuate the positive. When you just say no you are reminding yourself of what you can't do or can't have. Instead of saying "no more cigarettes for me!" try "I'm choosing a healthier smoke-free lifestyle". Don't use absolutes like "I'll never X again" unless you mean it (think about it; are you REALLY prepared to give up X FOREVER?)
6. Believe in yourself and your power to change. Research shows the more you believe in your own capabilities, the more likely you are to succeed.
7. Be easy on yourself when you have a lapse. Even if you fail the first time it does not mean you are doomed to total failure! It can often feel like two steps forward, one step back. Be patient and get back on track as soon as you can.
8. Expect occasional setbacks and have a plan to deal with them. Chances are that you will come up against the same things that have got in your way in the past, so look at your typical excuses and rationalizations. Figure out strategies to deal with the inevitable difficulties along the way, and remind yourself to see them for what they are- temporary setbacks.
9. Monitor and track your progress. It has been shown that we're more likely to succeed if we monitor how we are doing. So yes, write in that diary, tally the number of times you mange to do X in a day or week, write down and log your successes. And look at how far you have come not how much is left to be done.
10. Make the change one choice at a time! We make choices from moment to moment: make your choices conscious (saying them to yourself helps). The more you can focus on the positive choice you can make at this moment, the easier it will be to adopt your new habit.
If you have already given up this year, chances are you made a superficial decision rather than the commitment of a true "resolution".
As for Betty, when I last saw her she committed to writing for 30 minutes a day, four days a week. So far she has already written 12 pages since 1st January. At this rate she will have completed over 150 pages by the end of the year, and be well on her way to getting that book out of her head and down on paper! She is jumping with joy- a welcome side-effect that also helps increase her exercise levels!
