Soul Source
Summer Newsletter 2013
Inverted tree

Summer is a time of full flowering and ripening, of great Light and fruitful abundance.  For those of us who are consciously evolving, it is a good time to reflect on our own flowering and ripening. It is the perfect time to ask ourselves, "How is our spiritual practice showing up and being fully embodied in our lives?"  In today's world we are bombarded by on-line workshops, spiritual retreats, spiritual books and films, Facebook quotes, You-Tube, classes, and myriads of spiritual teachers.  It is a bit overwhelming and can keep us in a mindset of always needing more, or in constant indigestion, because we have not yet fully integrated the last book, or workshop or insight.  Our awakening will never be measured by how many books or workshops or YouTubes we took in, but by whether we are  living as illumined authentic Presence.
When we are living as that Presence, we will be moved toward whatever our next step is, our unfoldment into greater Life will be as natural and as beautiful as a rose that blooms petal, by petal opening in perfect timing to its full magnificence.

So at this time of fullness, we ask you to simply use in each moment all that you have accrued, all the practices and skills and spiritual tools that actually move you deeper into Life.  We ask you to be in proper alignment, receptive to Spirit, like a tree with your roots in heaven, fully in your body, grounded, expressing your Soul in each moment to live like a tree with its full flowering on the Earth.

We ask you to hone down, keep it simple, release the spiritual consuming, integrate, embody wisdom and take stock. We ask you to simply be aware and begin to notice how deep your roots have gone into Spirit and how you are bringing that into your moment to moment, day by day life.  We ask you to stay with the pain and the hard stuff to bring consciousness and love there.  We invite you to witness your own flowering and where you have ripened as a spiritual you are nurturing others and the Earth. We ask you to rest in the sacredness of even the most mundane tasks, to rejoice in small miracles, to taste each moment appreciating the subtle nuances of heart sorrow or heart delight and to know stillness in the midst of chaos and rejoice in being fully alive!



SOUL SOURCE invites you to celebrate the sacredness of Summer Solstice on Friday, June 21st,  2013 at 1:04 am.  We bring our attention to the meaning of this yearly event in the heavens and we celebrate on Earth in order to attune ourselves more fully to the wider rhythms and cycles we live within.  In the ancient times, Summer Solstice was considered a celebration of the marriage of Heaven and Earth. The full abundance and flowering of nature is evident and life is full of goodness and the vitality which signifies Spirit in manifested form.  We awaken to the sounds of birdsong, the green lushness of the earth, the abundance of sunshine.  Flowers abound and our gardens are beginning to bring forth food for the table.  Evenings are longer and we can take time to linger in the cooler air after the heat of the day.  We can give ourselves more leisure and the space to turn our attention to gratitude and appreciation for the beauty and the bounty of Life.  All does seem a bit Lighter, our hearts feel a bit more open, as the Light lengthens, sustains and brightens our days. It is a time to remember that this great Light we see in all its outward evidence is within us always. That great Light of Consciousness, the Soul, the Inner Sun, is always within. Summer is our outer reminder of that constant Love and Light which we know when we live from the inside out.  Shine this Summer Solstice, celebrate the Sun, inward and outward. Know what you are and radiate that warmth and sustenance to all.  When the Light of the Soul pours through our every thought, word, feeling and creation in the world, this IS the marriage of Heaven and Earth.  



Pick a bouquet and fill the house with flowers.


Eat from your garden or go to the Farmer's Market and delight in the fresh food that local farmers have grown.


Do the Sun Salutation.


Sit, meditate and let the sun bathe your back for 15 minutes, energizing the heart chakra.


Watch the sunrise and watch the sunset.


Feel the inner Sun within you.


Witness in each moment whether you are acting from Love and in the flow of Life or acting from mind and conditioning.


Go for a leisurely walk and celebrate the beauty of the Earth with every step.


Sense the fairies and nature spirits everywhere!  


Write a poem, paint a picture, dance a dance to celebrate Life Abundant.  


Celebrate how much you are flowering as a spiritual Being!


Joyous Summer Solstice Blessings to all




In This Issue
Leaving a Positive Footprint
The Yes of My Body
Polarity Reversal Required
15 Things To Do to Live a More Sacred Life
What's So Great About Being in Your Body
Returning Home





When you stand with your two feet on the ground, you will always keep your balance.  
-Lao Tzu








Healing the Spirit/Matter Split
by Saniel Bonder 


How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Maslish


Beyond Sibling Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Maslish


The Whole Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson




























































It is amazing how many hints and guides and intuitions for living come to the sensitive person who has ears to hear what his body is saying. 
--Rollo May








































In our bodies, in this moment, there live the seed impulses of the change and spiritual growth we seek, and to awaken them we must bring our awareness into the body, into the here and now.

--Pat Ogden 


































































































Waking up this morning, I smile. 
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.  
I vow to live fully in each moment 
And to look at all beings with eyes of compassion. 
--Thich Nhat Hanh




Leaving a Positive Footprint- 

Blessing Space by Madisyn Taylor 

  Feet on the ground

We can bless each space we enter leaving a sweet energetic footprint behind.

Physical space acts like a sponge, absorbing the radiance of all who pass through it. And, more likely than not, the spaces we move through each day have seen many people come and go. We have no way of knowing whether the energy footprints left behind by those who preceded us will invigorate us or drain us. Yet we can control the energy footprint we leave behind for others. In blessing each space we enter, we orchestrate a subtle energy shift that affects not only our own experiences in that space but also the experiences of the individuals who will enter the space after us. While we may never see the effects our blessing has had, we can take comfort in the fact that we have provided grace for those that follow after us.

When you bless a room or an entire building, you leave a powerful message of love and light for all those who will come after you. Your blessings thus have myriad effects on the environments through which you pass. Old, stagnant energy is cleared, creating a vacuum into which fresh and invigorating energy can freely flow. The space is thus rendered harmonious and nourishing, and it becomes a hub from which positive feelings are transmitted. Intent is the key component of the blessings you leave in your physical wake. If your intent involves using your own consciousness as a tool for selflessly spreading grace, your blessings will never go awry. Whether you feel more comfortable performing a solo blessing or prefer to call upon your spirit guides for assistance, visualize each space you enter becoming free of toxins, chaos, and negativity as you speak your blessing. Then imagine the resultant emptiness being replaced by pure, healing white light and loving energy. Even a quick mindful thought of love can bless a space.

This type of blessing is cumulative and will grow each time you bestow it. Try blessing every home, business, and office you visit for an entire week and observing the effects of your goodwill. Your affirmative energy footprint will help brighten your day as you contemplate your blessing's future impact on your siblings in humanity and your environment.



Our Whole Life Could Be a Ritual


We could learn to stop when the sun goes down and when the sun comes up. We could learn to listen to the wind; we could learn to notice that it's raining or snowing or hailing or calm. We could reconnect with the weather that is ourselves, and we could realize that it's sad. The sadder it is, and the vaster it is, the more our heart opens. We can stop thinking that good practice is when it's smooth and calm, and bad practice is when it's rough and dark. If we can hold it all in our hearts, then we can make a proper cup of tea.


--Pema Chodron


The Yes of My Body
by Heidi Rose Robbins                     


If ever. If ever there were a time - a springtime, a sacred time- that my body is budding with YES, it is now. And a shyness unfurls as I write these words for though I've danced and acted and given birth and nursed and made love and tended and been tended, there is an insistent YES that can only presence itself now - a YES that strangely can only come as my body begins to unfurl its ailments, its secrets, its small complaints, its changes, its age. 


It's a YES that comes from a body that has been inhabited now for some good time...with goodness. It pays off. This loving. This desire to love and open and learn and unpeel and unfurl. The YES of my body is crying out these days in joy, in exultation, in wonder because some very old sheaths are falling away and some raw pink baby newness buried for years is investigating the world again.


It's a mystery really - how one day or through a series of weeks- there is an invitation, a willingness to change, to experiment, to slow down, to make love in the afternoon, to eat all things sweet, to watch Mad Men in the middle of the day, to sprawl on a Sunday... to fall in love again with a very simple life.


It's a mystery because it can actually happen amidst imperfection. That is, the sweetness, the YES doesn't mean I'm not still making lunches too early in the morning. It doesn't mean it wouldn't be wonderful if money were flowing just a bit more freely. It doesn't mean I don't creak or that I'm not gloomy at least once a day. It just means my body is willing to take it all in. I've begun to live in a big YES of a body that also has her preferences, her discriminations, her yearnings and her wants - but is willing to hold it all in a big goddess belly. It's a body that is willing to choose pleasure and not accomplishment every time, willing to sleep 12 hours without guilt. It's a body that should be walking in the french countryside on the way to drink wine and eat baguettes and fall in love again and again and again. But she's walking here, now, in Glendale, California with a french countryside inside her - with a smile for all imperfections, with a blazing curiosity for what's possible when she really just starts to allow herself not to run the show, but let the SHOW dance through her.


To read Heidi's other writings, visit her website at:

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Be strong then, and enter into your own body;     
there you have a solid place for your feet.   
Think about it carefully!    
Don't go off somewhere else!      
...just throw away all thoughts of     
imaginary things,     
and stand firm in that which you are.  



 Polarity Reversal Required

 by Ken Carey  

  Hanged One
The first lie we began to believe, which is called "the fall: is that there is something to fear. In God's Creation of all places. Yet it was precisely the belief in that first lie that triggered our shift from a coherent Spirit-centered species of true individuals, to an incoherent earth-centered race ...matter focused.  Just the possibility of fear caused us to turn and cling to the most stable thing we knew: the earth, which is matter. The results of this were devastating. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words:

Polarity reversal  

A curious thing happens when polarity is reversed; that which once attracted repels, and that which once repelled attracts. This can be demonstrated with three little donut shaped magnets. Use the lower magnet to represent the earth. Place it on a pencil with its negative pole facing upward.  Place a second magnet on the pencil representing human beings.  As in figure 5-A, portray these human beings in healthy polarity.  They represent the Creator to the earth, so their positive pole is downward.  In this polarity, they are immediately drawn into a close symbiotic working relationship with the mother planet.  The third magnet represents the Creator whose positive pole is facing downward.  Since humankind has its negative pole facing upward as it represents the earth to the Creator, human beings are immediately drawn into a conscious working relationship with the Creator.  All three magnets now sit on the pencil as close to one another as possible.


Now notice what occurs (figure 5-B) when human polarity is reversed: suddenly humankind's positive pole is facing the Creator's positive and the two positives repel; its negative pole is facing the earth's negative and the two negatives repel.  All three magnets hang suspended on the pencil as far apart as the strength of their charges permit.


We can understand why the human polarity reversal benefits neither earth nor Creator; it effectively sabotages the conscious range of their spirit/matter relationship.  It draws the conscious range of their relationship deep into the subconscious realm.  Before we had written histories, the old storytellers would refer to this as "the time when the fathers fell asleep."  This is precisely what occurred.


The creative process was designed to draw out the earth's potential.  It was to lift matter up into the designs of spirit, exploring all the possibilities of clothing spirit with matter.  The Divine Design radiated initially through the Creator's positive intention.  It was received by healthy humans with their orientation (their receptive face) toward God.  The Creator's intention was then translated by the human beings into a range of specific activities.  These activities interacted positively with the earth, drawing forth her potential.


Before the Fall, human needs were met through the same kind of symbiosis that occurs within the bodies of all healthy organisms.  Just as the blood delivers oxygen to the cells of the body, so human physical needs were met easily, without "sweat of the face."  When human polarity reversed, people found themselves afraid of both God and the earth.  They found that their level of consciousness now repelled the very things that they needed for survival.


It is important to realize that the Fall occurred only on the conscious levels of human function.  It could not have occurred on subconscious levels, because humans had no free will in this autonomic realm.  Except for a thin film on the surface, which is distorted by undisciplined and out-of-control human spirits, our collective subconscious has remained healthy.


Because humankind's subconscious is in right polarity, the biosphere remains  healthy enough to sustain a large percentage of plant, animal, and human life.  The areas where the biosphere is unhealthy are the areas where the activities of fallen human consciousness are operating on a scale large enough to have distorted, poisoned and, in many cases, terminated the life-processes involved. 


Because humankind was designed to represent the earth to the Creator and because human physiology is homologous (analogous in a biological way) to the animal, vegetable and mineral realms, there is not one of these that has not in some way been negatively influenced by the "scarcity" propaganda and desires for excessive wealth symptomatic of fallen human consciousness.  Before the advent of nuclear power this negative influence was not felt in the mineral kingdom.  Since the very moment of the Fall, it has been felt in the vegetable kingdom, but, aside from humans, it has been most significantly-almost disastrously-felt in the animal kingdom. This is not the place to go into this in depth. I mention it in this context to remind those who would look to nature for models of health, that nature herself has been distorted by the reversal in our human polarity.  The human observer affects all that is observed.


To the extent that we are consciously able to see where we first went wrong, we begin to reverse the process. This would be impossible alone, of course, but there is a powerful momentum of healing that we will find helping us as we go along.  Spirit has not been idle all these millennia.




To support your proper alignment,
we invite you to click the link below to listen to the Soul Infusion Guided Meditation by Suchitra Davenport  






by Suchitra Davenport


Breathing in the steam and the smell

Of hot wool rising

From the ironing board,

I move the iron so not to crease,

But glide smoothly over the surface,

Penetrating every cell of fabric,

And I know with whole heart

That this simple act

Is no less an offering

Than burning incense

At the Buddha's feet.


And in this,

I am home on the earth

And blessed by steam

And smell and touch

And am at one with

The sheep who gave her wool,

the grasses upon which she grazed.

And the sheep farmer's children, yet unborn.  


Fifteen Things to Do to Live a More Sacred Life
by Luminita D. Saviuc

Here is a list of 15 things to do to make your life more sacred and happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering - and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy - we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:


1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can't stand the idea of being wrong - wanting to always be right - even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It's just not worth it. Whenever you feel the 'urgent' need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: "Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?" Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?


2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you - situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street - just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.


"By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning." --Lao Tzu


3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don't have, for what you feel or don't feel. Stop giving your power away and start taking responsibility for your life. No more victim, just speak up and be what you know you can be.


4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don't believe everything that your mind is telling you - especially if it's negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.


"The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive." 

--Eckhart Tolle


5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!


"A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind"

--Elly Roselle


6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, many things - people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It's not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.


7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.


8. Give up your need to impress othersStop trying so hard to be something that you're not just to make others like you. It doesn't work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you're not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.


9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change - don't resist it.

"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls"

--Joseph Campbell


10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don't understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. 


"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about."

--Wayne Dyer


11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn't exist - you created it. It's all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.


"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."  

--Franklin D. Roosevelt


12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they're fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses - excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.


13. Give up the pastI know, I know. It's hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for - the past that you are now dreaming about - was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.


14. Give up attachmentThis is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it's not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn't mean you give up your love for them - because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love... well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can't be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.


15. Give up living your life to other people's expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people's expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need....and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life - this one right now - you must live it, own it, and especially don't let other people's opinions distract you from your path.


From the Purpose Fairy at: p-in-order-to-be-happy/ 






I always thought that in our fall from Eden, besides the strains of physicality and the bearing of earthly burdens, our real earthly task was that an unbridgeable gap or a black hole was opened up in our ability to truly love one another. And so our job here on earth, and the way we regain our divinity,

our sacredness, and our general good standing is by reconstructing love and creating love out of the broken pieces that we have been given. That is all we have of human promise. That's the way we prove ourselves in the eyes of God and facilitate our own redemption.


--Bruce Springsteen, from a speech inducting Jackson Browne into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame



What's So Great About Being in Your Body? 
by Bella Shing


Authentic Movement  


I see a lot of clients and people at large living mostly outside their bodies. And it might not just be pain that is causing you to check out of your body...boredom is also a common culprit (look at any teenager in a classroom). You may recognize this feeling as not being aware of the sensation in your feet, not remembering how you arrived at a certain location even though you were the one driving, or forgetting large swathes of your life.


Instead of an ascetic tradition of removing ourselves from the physical senses and material world, there is a way to reach states of transcendence through more fully embodying the senses. To start with, we have to be in the body. In this article, "What's so Great About Being in Your Body" you'll find the practical benefits of being in the present as well as how pleasure is not only your birthright, it is an essential part of your health and vitality.


So that said, "What is So Great About Being in Your Body", you ask?


#1 Forget Out of Body Experience, how about an Embodied Experience?


Have you ever seen a person walking down the street talking to themselves? Some people will say that these people have lost their minds, I'd say they are simply "lost in their minds". To tell you the truth, visit the financial district of Anytown, USA and you may have seen a whole flock of these folk during lunch hour although they are not speaking out loud...they are still "lost in their minds" or half out of their body.


#2 You get to expand time


Have you ever heard the expression, "and time stood still?" Most often this is reserved for intense and rare moments of life like near death experiences, winning a hard fought battle, verdict, or race. But if life is measured by the richness of experience, then wouldn't it behoove us to have more of these moments?


And luckily for us, these are available to us all the time, as long as we are present!


I recently was at the River Street Cafe and sampled a piece of their vintage Gouda cheese. Butterscotch in color, the moment I put it into my mouth, time suddenly slowed to a crawl. The intensity of the flavor spread through my mouth, I suddenly took a deep breath, the aroma of coffee intensified, even the color of the tulips in the flower shop across the street became Technicolor pink. I became fully present because the taste pulled me into my body, away from thoughts of the day.


And think of it this way, if time slows to a crawl, you've technically just expanded your life!


#3 You get to remember things


Have you ever spoken to a friend and couldn't remember a part of even most of what happened in your day? It's probably because you spent most of the day out of your body...either racing ahead into the future or revisiting the past... which makes it really difficult to listen to your intuition, or notice the flirty gaze from a cutie at the Farmer's Market. When you are fully in your body, you'll also be able to truly listen to others which may better your chances at having a relationship.


Ways to be in your body more wholly: 


1. Exercise (not while zoning out to a tv show) preferably something where balance and focus are required: yoga, golf, aerial dancing, walking... you get the picture

2. Slow practice (it's exactly what it sounds like)

3. Focus on your senses, savor food, music, color.

4. Noticing the Beauty in people

5. Hang out and play with children (they are masters at being in the present)

6. Walk out of the door with an agenda-less day letting only the question of "what would be more fun" guide you!

7. Do a last breath meditation (take a breath as if it were the last...this brings piercing awareness of the exquisiteness of being alive)

8. Bringing attention to your toes

9. Be Creative: Paint, make music, journal, write, cook, clean, garden.

10. Experiencing pleasure as a birthright!

11. Play: Sing, dance, boat, sight-see, spend time with good friends, travel.



Each person's life is like a mandala- a vast, limitless circle. We stand in the center of our own circle, and everything we see, hear and think forms the mandala of our life. We enter a room, and the room is our mandala. We get on the subway, and the subway car is our mandala, down to the teenager checking messages on her iPhone and the homeless man slumped in the corner. We go for a hike in the mountains, and everything as far as we can see is our mandala: the clouds, the trees, the snow on the peeks, even the rattlesnake coiled in the corner. We're lying in a hospital bed, and the hospital is our mandala. We don't set it up, we don't get to choose what or who shows up in it. It is, As Chogyam Trungpa said, "the mandala that is never arranged but is always complete." And we embrace it just as it is.
Everything that shows up in your mandala is a vehicle for your awakening. From this point of view, awakening is right at your fingertips continually. There's not a drop of rain or a pile of dog poop that appears in your life that isn't the manifestation of enlightened energy, that isn't a doorway to sacred world. But it's up to you whether your life is a mandala of neurosis or a mandala of sanity.

(From Pema Chodren's newest book, Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change)
Returning Home
Blog post by Heidi Rose Robbins

Heart tree
I've been away from home for three weeks. Some of you know I've been in Santa Fe, New Mexico studying with the wonderful Ruth Zaporah. Today, after a two day drive home- the kids, my husband and I arrived back in Los Angeles. We are all so happy to be back. The house feels great. Our friends who used the house while we were gone left sweet messages and gifts. We all felt our beautiful home welcome us. Returning home is like a deep exhale.


The sweeter part of this is- I am not returning as I left. I've spent the last 3 weeks returning to the HOME of my SELF and I return now quieter, more aware, at peace, curious and sensually alive.


When we are at HOME in our bodies, instead of alienating ourselves from the very FORM that carries us through our journey, we land very much at the center of our experience. I feel at HOME now because while I was away:


I slowed down and let go. I let go of my agenda. I let go of the effort of accomplishment. I showed up in the classroom and gave everything I had to learn something new. And in between, I walked slowly, read, wrote and ate good food.


I spoke up. I wanted to learn. I wanted to ask questions. I didn't allow my usually mute student self to win the day. I wanted to be in the classroom fully engaged and wrestling with the material.


I didn't sleep much. The first night there is was HOT and there were a ton of bugs. I also had a roommate (who I loved) in a very tiny room. We were lodged far away from all the others in the silence of the New Mexican desert and had to walk some distance away to the nearest bathroom. All my comforts were unavailable. I was thrown into a rhythm other than the one I knew so well. My usual life was unsettled and this was good. I could experience everything afresh.


I moved my body and discovered a rich and subtle inner landscape. I am always moved by what I learn simply by BEING a body- instead of a walking brain. I felt such freedom and flow and a sense of curiosity and not knowing. Being a body allows me to take my next steps with grace and intuition.


I breathed in the SKY. Every night as I drove back to my mother's house in Santa Fe, I celebrated the incredible vastness of the land. I had a panoramic view of the sky. Every night, it was wildly different-Sun sets mixed with the threat of rain, heat lightning, clouds and light dancing. Breathing in the sky gives a ton of perspective.


I recognized the gift I had given myself. I have two little kids and a husband that already does a ton for me. I knew it would be a sacrifice on his part and on the part of my mother (who lives in Santa Fe) who would both be doing a ton of child care while I got to go to a great retreat. I am so deeply grateful to them and I am so deeply grateful that I gave myself this opportunity. I am grateful that I recognized that I would THRIVE in so doing. I am grateful that creative solutions can always be found when we want something deeply enough. I am grateful for the freedom to grow with the tremendous support of a loving family. It's sometimes the MOST difficult to give ourselves permission to break out of a traditional form with our family and I am so happy I said YES.


So, here's to returning home and RETURNING HOME. May we all be blessed on our journeys to return HOME again and again and soak in the aliveness of that experience. 



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Slowly the evening changes into the clothes

held  for it by a row of ancient trees;

you look, and two worlds grow separate from you,
one ascending to heaven, another, that falls;

and leaves you, belonging not wholly to either one, not quite as dark as the house that remains silent, not quite as certainly sworn to eternity as that which becomes star each night and rises-

and leaves you to disentangle your life 
with all its immensity and fear and great ripening,
so that, all but bounded, all but understood,

it is by turns, stone in you and fiery star.


--Ranier Maria Rilke


Soul Source