Dear Blessed Soul,
Happy New Year of 2012! The key word to that greeting is Happy. I think I can say confidently that happiness is something we all want. I never heard anyone say I just want to be sad and depressed...have you? But in this life we live, with all the stresses and pressures, we need reminding every day of the important things in life. Sometimes if you are going through hard time in your life, you might need reminding every hour, every other thought even! Reminding you of things you don't usually hear out in the world (but you will hear in my yoga class:)...that you are good enough; there is nothing to worry about; tears are transformational; all is well in your world; all you need is right within your own being; you are perfect just the way you are; you are beautiful; you are strong; you are worthy; you are loved; just hold on...this too shall pass; adversity is an investment in your character; change will always be there, but you will be ok; there is nothing to fear; in the end Love conquers all.
I have been in transition over the last few months (hence why I haven't written any newsletters). In September my life took a huge change. My 18 year old daughter, my only child, who has been the focus of my life for the last 18 years, moved to Georgia to start her life there on her own. I sold most of my things to pay for her move, and moved out of my home because business had slowed down tremendously and the monthly expense was just too much for me. All the things that took up most of my time every day were suddenly gone. I was alone, financially broke, experiencing empty nest syndrome (which by the way no one can prepare you for, it feels like someone just took a limb from your body and ripped out part of your heart). I wasn't having any luck finding a new home for my little guardian angel dog Karma and I. I didn't find a home until three months later, it was scary! However, there were two things that got me through this challenging time in my life.
But before I tell you what they were I want to back up to the two questions that my spiritual guides posed to me at the start of this journey..."Where is God in your life?" and "What are your greatest resources?"
For that three months that seemed like forever, where everything seemed uncertain, I wasn't sure where God was anymore. I hadn't heard his voice talk to me in a long time and hadn't had any of my usual miracles that I had been experiencing almost daily . I was talking to God, but he wasn't talking back. At least that is what I thought. There was nothing but nothing...quiet-stillness. I was confused, lost and sad.
Every time I drove by my daughter's high school I cried, thinking about all the times I drove her to school angry at her, wishing she would leave already and move out. Now I was wishing for just one more car ride to school. "I'm so sorry", I would cry out...I wish I could turn back time and get it right this time. I would do it differently, I wouldn't get so angry...I would remember how fast time goes by with children and would squeeze every ounce of happiness and love out of each moment we were together. At least that is what I thought.
And even though I had mastered being homeless, and not just homeless I might add, but a classy homeless person, I still needed my own space desperately. There were times I had to not only shower at Robert Moses Beach, but use the ocean as my bathtub and even take the ole baby wipe shower! Eww!!! But somehow I managed to still look and smell fabulous! Can I put that on my resume? And I will never again have one negative thought about my 12 year old Nissan XTerra that has 230,000 miles on it and a cracked manifold, which by the way, I still have no idea what that is exactly! All I know is that it still runs and it was my refuge for three months. I love that beast!
So how did I get through this crazy time with a smile on my face every single day? The first thing that got me through this time was my yoga/meditation practice and faith in God, something I have been practicing my entire life but working on more intensely the last ten years. I knew that everything would work out somehow, someway. I didn't know how, but that wasn't my job to know how, my job was to Trust. Easier said than done when everything in your life is uncertain.
So that brings me to the first question and the second thing that got me though this time, "Where is God in your life?"
I realized that God was showing up to me, not through hearing his Voice, not through some miraculous sign, but through my answer to the second question, "What are your greatest resources?"...God was showing up to me through YOU. I realized my greatest resources are YOU... my friends, my yoga students, my companions, my spiritual family.
OUR GREATEST RESOURCES ARE EACH OTHER.
I know that many people have a tendency to isolate themselves, feel lonely and depressed (me being one of them), but the Truth is we are never alone and we need each other. We need to be in community. This life is just too hard to do it alone.
"Metaphysically speaking, God did not create us individually, but as One; that is the esoteric meaning of "only one begotten Son." The awareness of our Oneness, while foreign to the ego, is clear to the heart. And that's why unity is the key to our happiness. Spiritually, we do not exist in isolation. It is unnatural for us to perceive ourselves as separate; in fact, we are like sunbeams of the same sun and waves of the same ocean. Imagining ourselves as separate waves, we feel that we are tiny and powerless, when in fact we are integral to the immense power of the sea.
It's only when we transcend the illusion of separation, refusing the false testimony of our physical senses, that we will make a quantum leap forward into a joy-filled life. We will know peace when we learn to love as God loves, and God loves us all as One. The Golden Rule is so fundamental because what we do to others, we literally are doing to ourselves. The recognition of our unity is the healing of all our wounds." *
Every once in a while, we give ourselves a taste of what life on Earth could be like, were we to truly interact like brothers and sisters and come together to glimpse a higher possibility for heaven on earth. Two examples are New Years Eve of the last millennium and September 11th. In those times we experienced universal love. We behaved truly like brothers. These days were not days of competition but cooperation; not a day for war, but for peace; not a day for judgment, but for blessing. We came together to help each other in kindness and charity. And if we could do it for a day, isn't it reasonable to assume that we could do it for longer?
Yes we can because what happened was nothing more than an internal shift in our thinking and our perspective for a different kind of world. It's important for the spiritual activist to remember that things could be different in our world, that the moments we experience as magnificent exceptions could indeed become the Rule. Robert F. Kennedy often quoted George Bernard Shaw in saying, "Some people see things as they are and ask, 'Why?' I think of how they could be, and I ask, 'Why not?'*
The horrors of the world we live in today arise from spiritual ignorance. Technological and material progress is not necessarily accompanied by spiritual wisdom. That is why knowing the truth of our spiritual oneness and embracing it within our hearts is the ultimate answer to every problem in the world. The body has differences, the spirit does not.*
I feel like the struggles, the hard times, the devastating events that occur in the world happen to reveal and to remind us of our true nature. That in fact despite the horrific acts of terrorism, of natural disasters, of suffering and heartache within our own hearts that our true nature is to rise every time, like the phoenix bird out of the ashes, to rise in love and in strength and compassion and unity. At a very human level we need each other.
If we want to really be true to the holiday cards that we continue to send year after year, "Peace On Earth, Good Will to All", etc...we must start with making peace and amends with ourselves first and then our families. We will never have peace on this planet with hatred and resentment within our own hearts and toward our families and neighbors.
In retrospect this period of my life was one of the best gifts I could have ever gotten. My whole life I felt alone, like I didn't belong anywhere. For the first time in my life I felt connected! What a gift, because in that moment when I realized where God was in my life, that he was in You, IN EVERYONE, then I knew that everything was going to be alright. I was no longer alone and a great peace came over me, along with an overwhelming surge of gratitude and tears of joy.
On New Years Day my friend Lisa asked me on Smiths Point Beach before we took the frigid polar bear plunge, "Stefania did you know all any of these people before or did you just meet them through swimming?" I paused for a moment and realized I had met them all through swimming. I felt so blessed, so grateful and just warm enough on the inside to bear the Atlantic ocean in my bikini!
THANK YOU. These two words I can't say enough... thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you to everyone who gave me a cozy bed to sleep in, a hot shower, a warm meal, money, an encouraging word, a hug, love and support. Thank you to Bryan Krut, my swim coach who kept me swimming, even when I felt too sad and depressed to go. When I first started swimming with Bryan last year in March it was to become a good swimmer, so I could get across the Great South Bay without drowning. Now it has become so much more to me. Swimming had become the medicine for my soul. And along with that came an unexpected gift of friendship and community through the organization that I swim with, Open Water Swim, OWS. That's what makes jumping in a cold chlorinated peed in pool in the middle of the winter or the Atlantic Ocean on New Year's Day worth it.
We all know life is hard and could be overwhelming at times. It's in those times when we feel like we are falling that we need to TRUST, there will be a net or a network of people, and of course divine support to hold you up.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring...all I know is that today I have the opportunity to live my life with love in my heart, gratitude in my attitude and the chance to say "I love you". I am so grateful for all of you. I love you with all my heart.
Namaste...
Your friend, Stefania
PS. Special thank you's to the loves in my life who went over and beyond to help me...the Darcangelos, the Tibetts, Charlie Russo and the Hope House boys, Sagdrina Jalal, Jim Bishop, Cathleen Fizzinoglia, Elizabeth Kieffer, Valerie Dunne, Fred Caravasanous, Ian Grunke, Carin Winters...and to my friend Randy who was my inspiration to write this newsletter.
*Everyday Grace by Marianne Williamson
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I see a lot of suffering in the world, and recently I noticed it in people that seem on the outside to have it all together. Deep down I see their pain, their struggle...I can't help but to feel their sadness. The 19th Annotation of St. Ignatius is a 40 week spiritual retreat that I did from 2010-2011. It was one of the most helpful and life giving things I could have ever done for myself. I was reluctant to do it for many months. I had an aversion to reading the bible to be truthful, because even though I am spiritual, I don't follow any religions. After talking to Valerie Dunne who was to become my guide for the retreat she explained to me that you don't have to be religious or even Catholic to do the retreat. It was a huge commitment and it required daily reading, meditation or contemplation and journaling. From the first meeting I had with her I knew that it was just what I needed. I was tired of being sad and depressed over a marriage that had failed and I wanted to be emotionally and mentally free. It was robbing me of my joy. The retreat has a way of purifying, cleansing, and purging us from all the undigested emotional and mental toxins that we carry around. It brings us out of the Passion and into the Resurrection! Besides finding yoga and meditation, it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself, for my well being, for my inner peace, for my life. If anyone would like more information on it please don't hesitate to get in contact with me or Valerie 631-678-1189
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"Gratitude is essential tohappiness. Developing a grateful attitude- knowing that every time we arrive somewhere safely, we have something to be happy about; every time our children rush up to us and smile, we have something to be happy about; every time we get out of bed and can take a deep breath and go out for a walk, we have something to be happy about- that is the essence of a happy existence. Happiness is a muscle we must use or it will wither away."
"Whatever we focus on is bound to expand. Where we see the negative, we call forth more negative. And where we see the positive, we call forth more positive. Having loved and lost, I now love more passionately. Having won and lost, I now win more soberly. Having tasted the bitter, I now savor the sweet."
-Everyday Grace, Marianne Williamson
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Special Events
I am now teaching at two new locations!
The Brick-Fit-House 1484 Broadway, Holbrook 11741
Learn basic yoga in a small, safe, non threatening environment!
Beginner Yoga:
Monday 4:30-5:30pm and Wednesday 11:30-12:30am
&
The Sayville Hot Yoga Center
299 Raft Ave, Sayville 11782
Hot Beginner Yoga
Wednesday 9:30-10:45am
Open Mixed Level Class
Friday 4:00-5:15pm
and starting in February
Yoga Core Train Class
Saturdays at noon!
FOR MORE INFO on my class schedule, pricing, or any of the above events PLEASE visit my website by clicking quick link below OR CALL ME @ 516-617-1556
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***If this newsletter has brought you comfort or inspiration in any way, don't be afraid to forward it on. You never know what someone is going through.
The link is at the bottom left. Thanks so much!
"I am because we are."
-African Xhosa Tribe
"Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable."
-Kenyan quote
"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is, "Thank you," it will be enough."
-Meister Eckhardt
"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle."
-Father James Keller
"When everything is uncertain, anything is possible."
Namaste: "I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of light, of truth, and of peace. When you are in that place in you, I am in that place in me. We are One."
"It has been said that when Buddha comes again, he will arrive not as a person, but as a community. We will know that God is here on earth when we can see him in one another."
-M.Williamson (Everyday Grace)
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