The secret is finding time on a daily basis to connect and communicate with your spouse.  This can take a variety of forms, from a quick telephone check in during the day, to a 15 minute evening talk after the kids are in bed.  But one ritual that seems to work for many busy couples is a weekly date night, where the two of you spend a couple of hours alone together and focus on enjoying each other's company, catching up and having fun together.  While, ideally it would be great to get a babysitter and go out somewhere together, this isn't always possible so some date nights might need to be at home¸ after the kids are asleep.  

Just for fun, let's take a peek at what a romantic "at home" date night could look like. 

It all begins with planning and building anticipation... so let's say date night will be Friday night.  So the Sunday before, the two of you sit down to plan your special night.  Decide who will be in charge of the night and perhaps each of you could suggest two things you would like to see happen that night.  Then whoever is in charge takes care of all the arrangements from there.  There could be a romantic home-cooked dinner or pizza and candlelight out on the deck.  You could choose to get dressed up or dressed down.  Whatever you choose to do, make it special and different from the routine.  Think about as many details as you can that would make this a really special night for your partner.

Now for the anticipation part... starting on Monday, the person in charge of the night sends a note or text to the partner giving a hint about some aspect of the planned night.  The partner responds in some positive way to the text.  This continues over the next four days building more and more excitement and anticipation about the night to come.  By the time Friday gets here, you won't be able to wait to get the kids in bed so you can start your special night. 

This is just one brief scenario.  Using your imagination could take you to many others.  The key ingredients are to make it fun and make it special for both of you.  Over the course of the next few months, we'll explore many other ideas for date night in this newsletter.  We'll look at fun things to do in the Frederick area as well as things that will take you off the beaten path.  Hope you'll join me next time.

Marie Kish, LCPC, specializing in Couples Therapy

240-505-1552  or Marie@MLKCounseling.com

www.MLKCounseling.com