As a child I never heard my mom or dad say I love you or give hugs.  So I asked the first man who said he loved me to marry me, and he did.

8 years of abuse and 7 children later I knew I had to leave, but where to? I didn't know about shelters. I didn't know how I would feed my children. I had been told no one would ever love me but him and I believed that.  Family members never offered to help us.  

When someone asked why I didn't just leave, it was shocking to hear. That seemed like such a dumb question to ask me! I had no job, no money, no house or anything. I assumed that the reasons I didn't leave were obvious. He provides for us! The realization that no one understood this made me feel low, crazy and stupid.

As an advocate I cringe when my clients tell me how their family and friends won't help because they don't understand. I wish that people wouldn't ask why we don't leave.  I wish they would simply ask what can they do to help.

Hear Barbara Lewis, DAP Advocate, tell her own story at the DAP TRANSFORMING FAMILIES luncheon next Tuesday, October 14.  Register today!