Effective Ideas to Improve Communication in Families
Parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual. We all do our best to learn, adapt, and keep working on making our families healthy and happy. Communicating with children is an important way that we can help them understand the changes in their bodies, their feelings and their growing responsibilities. Helping children develop positive communication skills also helps them form foundations for identifying and maintaining healthy relationships.
By talking - and listening - starting when children are young, we can be seen as "askable" resources for when our kids need us as they go through adolescence.
Parents can encourage communication by asking children questions that open the door for discussion (e.g. "When do you think a person is ready to be a parent?"). Try to validate their questions (e.g. "That's a great question!" Or, "I can see you're very curious." Or, "I'm so glad you asked me about this." Or, "What do you think?") and really listen without judging when they answer.
try the suggested ideas on how to improve communication in your family and keep the "doors open" for ongoing interesting conversations about life!*  Update on Recent FDA Ruling about Emergency Contraception Since the last edition of The Parent Buzz, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved unrestricted sales of Plan B One-Step, lifting all age limits on this emergency contraceptive. "Over-the-counter access to emergency contraceptive products has the potential to further decrease the rate of unintended pregnancies in the United States,'' Dr. Janet Woodcock, the FDA drug chief, said in a statement announcing the approval. It is unclear how quickly Plan B One-Step will move from behind pharmacy counters to sit on drugstore shelves. The FDA said the product will have to be repackaged by the manufacturer to reflect the change. The FDA has not lifted age limits on competing generics. For example, Next Choice generic, 2-pill version may be sold behind the pharmacy counter to individuals 17 years of age and older (age verification required); and Ella is sold only by prescription by a health provider. Nearly half of all pregnancies that occur in the U.S. each year are unintended. The average age for first time sex is 17, and roughly 750,000 pregnancies will occur among 15- to 19-year-olds each year. These statistics underscore the importance of the FDA's decision to improve access to emergency contraception. Nevertheless, we know that this decision has left some parents feeling anxious and in search of information about how EC works and how to talk to adolescents about this form of contraception. Emergency contraception works by preventing pregnancy. It must be taken within five days of unprotected sex, and it will not work if a woman is already pregnant. EC is a safe, effective form of birth control that works by postponing ovulation, which prevents sperm from coming in contact with and fertilizing an egg. Emergency contraception does not end a pregnancy. In fact, every major medical institution, including the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), states unequivocally EC is birth control, and it cannot induce an abortion. - Studies have shown that emergency contraception is safe for use by women of all ages and that teens have equally as successful health outcomes as adult women when using it.
- Multiple studies have shown that teens are as likely as adults to use emergency contraception correctly and that both groups report little if any difficulty using the method.
- Research also has shown that teens understand that emergency contraception is not intended for ongoing, regular use and that the rates of unprotected sex do not increase when they have easier access to emergency birth control.
We spoke with Carey Goldberg at WBUR/ CommonHealth about how parents can talk to their adolescents about emergency contraception and family communication about this topic and other sex and sexuality topics. Check out her blog post on the subject. Quiz on Effective Communication Ideas 1. To encourage conversation and draw your family closer, arrange your living room seating in a: U shape
Circle ✓
L shape A study of hospital patients in Saskatchewan, Canada, found that subjects were friendlier to one another when they were seated face-to-face. The ideal distance is about five feet away, the same vantage from which Rembrandt and Leonardo da Vinci painted portraits. At that distance, the eye can comfortably take in the torso, hands, and face. 2. The most common time of day for family fights is: Morning
Dinnertime ✓
Weekends Psychologists in Chicago studied interactions between moms, dads, and kids and found that the most highly charged time was from 6 to 8 p.m., when parents are returning from work and everybody is hungry. To reduce fighting, hold off on difficult topics until everyone's looked through the mail, eaten, and changed clothes. 3. If you're having an argument with your partner or teenager, you can help reduce feelings of resentment if you: Lie down and stretch out
Sit up with good posture
Lean forward and nod
Any of the above, as long as you're both doing the same thing ✓ People who assume power positions (feet up; leaning over a table) tend to have increased feelings of superiority, while those in less powerful poses (sitting lower; arms crossed) tend to feel defensive and resentful. To reduce feelings of power imbalances, says environmental psychologist Sally Augustin, Ph.D., everyone in a conversation should be at the same level, with the same posture. 4. To identify feelings and the range of emotions and help your child learn vocabulary to explain them, you can play: Feeling Faces: Make faces in the mirror - a happy face, sad face, baby face, monster face, silly face. Ask your child to pick a feeling face and make up a story about it. Discuss the ways in which boys and girls show their feelings. Face Hunt: On a shopping trip pay attention to faces. Point out someone who looks happy, worried, excited, or angry. Help your child find a word or phrase to describe how the person looks. Ask her or him to imagine and explain why a person might feel that way. Both! ✓ These games validate that a wide range of feelings and emotions are natural and acceptable and encourage communication between parent and child about this important part of being human. 5. When siblings between the ages of 3 and 7 are together, how many times per hour do they fight? One to two
Two to three
Three to four ✓ Young siblings clash an average of 3.5 times per hour, studies show, with those fights lasting a total of 10 minutes. To reduce squabbles, spend a few minutes every day alone playing and talking with each child (so they're not jockeying for attention), and give them chores to do jointly to build trust. 6. Research shows that girls delay the onset of sexual activity if they have a close relationship with their: Mothers
Fathers ✓
Grandparents In a landmark Add Health study of 90,000 adolescents, researchers found that girls who have close relationships (spending time and talking together) with their fathers or other trusting, caring adult male caregivers were more likely to hold off on having sex. Other studies have shown that involved dads (or other trusting, caring adult male caregivers) also produce greater sociability and confidence in both daughters and sons. *Adapted from The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More, by Bruce Feiler | 
