I have received a flurry of letters over the years from women both asking for and offering definitions and descriptions of Queendom. Here are a few. I hope that they will spark some response from you, the loyal, royal sisterhood who comprise The Queen's Court.

Questions on Queendom:

Hi Queen Donna

-Dawn, TX

Dear Queen Dawn,

I am not a Queen with the sort of royal bloodline that you refer to. My royal bloodline is the one that runs through my own veins. I am the self-chosen Queen of Me. The reining Queen of My Self.

The Queen is an archetype that I use in my book, The Queen of My Self, to describe a woman who steps into her sovereignty in midlife. The Queen is the ruler of Her own domain. I see her as being not yet old, yet no longer young; but still active and sexy, vital with the enthusiasm and energy of youth. The Queen is tempered with hard-earned experience and the leavening attitudes of age. She has been forced to face and overcome obstacles and hard lessons, including Her own self-limiting tendencies, and in so doing has outgrown the boundaries of Her old self. Impatient with the unessential and restless for authenticity, She sheds all attachment to the opinions of others and accepts complete responsibility and control over Her life. She is the Queen of Her Self, the mature monarch, the sole sovereign of Her own life and destiny.

And you, my sister Queen, are the Queen of your own life, as well, whether or not you discover ancestral royal blood. Every woman can ascend to her own throne and crown her own head. Our world needs as many Queens as there are women. There can't be too many Queens.

With royal regards,

xxQueen Mama Donna

The mighty Queen, the great and wise, brave and compassionate woman ruler, the reigning commander of Her domain, is an expansive, expressive, accessible, energetic archetype who represents a mature female power, authority, responsibility, and influence worthy of our emulation.

-QMD

Dear Queen Mama Donna,

Just out of curiosity, what is the age range to be included as a Queen? Is it only from midlife on? I'm confused on this.

- Debby, OH

Dear Queen Debby,

How old is a Queen? It depends. I usually think of the Queen as a woman in her middle years, which covers a very large age range from the mid-40s through the mid 70s. But as in all things, there can be exceptions. Women who had children very young and are experiencing the empty nest in their 30s and women who have experienced premature medical menopause have told m

e that they face the same transitional life issues as women who are older. This emotional and physical transformation urges them toward Queendom.

By the same token, women in their late 70s and even 80s have expressed a strong identification with the active and energetic Queen. Two years ago at in a ceremony at a goddess conference in Glastonbury, England, a 90- year old woman insisted on being crowned as a queen rather than a Crone.

So the bottom line is if you feel like you are a Queen, then you are! It is never too early or too late to ascend to your true power.

I just coined the word regaliciously. I like the way it sounds. If Rachel Ray can get in the dictionary for EVOO, maybe I should contact the dictionary people with the new word: regalicious. What do you think?

- Linda, NY & NJ

When I told my partner, Sheriden about "regalicious" from the December Queen's Chronicles this morning, she coined another word. "Well," she said, "it's Queendomonium around here today!" It's all yours! Queendomonium! We laughed till she cried. Congrats on another swell newsletter as always,

-Susan, MA

I am a Queen. I now wear my crown. My thorns turn to jewels.

Thank you! I think I've been mostly missing the sovereignty aspect... getting it now though.

- Lisa, NY

What I have seen very clearly, right before my eyes over the years, is that women can indeed mature to very advanced ages, while staying lively and vital and full of fire and spunk. My great aunts and distant cousins twice removed were pistols. They didn't cause harm, but they didn't take guff from anyone. They stood their ground gracefully and powerfully and with unmatched poise. They traveled the world - alone or in pairs - when the world expected them to be propped up in a chair at a rest home. They learned foreign languages "late in life." They taught rough-and-tumble college students twice their size and weight how to conjugate verbs. They could fend for themselves, they could make their way unafraid in the world, and they weren't dependent on the approval of men or the dominant paradigm to validate their choices. They ruled their lives with an iron fist in a velvet glove, and they were deeply respected by all. Long before Donna Henes did us the wonderful service of voicing the vital concept of Queendom, these elder women of my youth were Queens. They were Queens in the purest sense of the word, and they remained so well into their 60s, 70s, even 80s.

- Kay, MA

I just celebrated my 69th birthday on December 4th, so I guess I am a Queen!!! If being a Queen is part of your state-of-mind, then, Queen Donna, I too, am definitely a Queen, and I hope to remain one for many years.

- Debbie, OH

I thought about you when during a yoga class we did the Queen pose. How appropriate that there is a Queen pose!

- Susan, CA

You were right when you wrote in The Queen of My Self, "there are no 10 easy steps to sovereignty." Becoming the Queen of my own life has been the hardest thing I have ever done, and also the most rewarding. It seemed natural to love and honor my husband. It was easy to love and nurture my children. But it has been a struggle to come to love, honor and nurture myself. I am still working on it, and every day I feel more like a Queen.

- Queen Isabella, VA

As a little girl I wondered what it would be like to be a Queen, after reading The Queen's Chronicles I have a much deeper and broader understanding of just how good it is to be the Queen. Being a Queen is knowing yourself and loving yourself, so that you can move through your life with confidence and a sense of purpose. Not by any means a perfect state, it requires a willingness to learn, a willingness to dialog and more important to listen, to change when needs be. To value others and their ideas, but to know which ones are true for herself. To carry with you, in your heart, what time has shown and taught you. To love and live tolerance. And to understand that timeworn is not careworn. Being loyal and true to yourself, loving yourself is the root of selflessness, not selfishness.

- Lois, PA

Being a Queen is having enough life experience to truly know what I want, coupled with the motivation and ability to make it happen. Valuing myself enough to allow myself to expend time and resources on my own development. Realizing that doing these things will provide a role model for my 17-yr-old daughter as she enters adulthood.

- Cyndi, TX

A Queen is one who has the ability to show no mercy but decides on mercy and giving of blessings even though I have the ability to curse and hold back on those blessings. A Queen must not look at things from only one point of view. She must be able to make judgment calls without malice. She must not think she is the most important. As a Queen I realize that those who look up to me are far more important than they think they are.

- Karen, IN

A Queen rules her court with love, never fear.

Anne Marie, NM

A Queen believes in what she is doing without any doubt or fear:-)

- Sanaz, Malaysia

I will be 47 this year. I have considered myself a Queen for many years. Queens know themselves completely, even the bad stuff. Queens are fully confident in their powers, boundaries, intuition, strengths, talents and feelings. However, I am also a mother to my six-year old daughter so I feel very much like a mother. So, I consider myself a Queen Mother, actually. I once read about a Polynesian culture whose ruler was a Queen Mother Who Sits on Her Golden Throne. That's me! Yeah!

- Sheryll, CA

I sent this letter out to my friends on February 16:

"In connection with being asked by my friend Beth, who is approaching her fiftieth birthday, to help her do a ceremony, I discovered all over again the wonderful book, The Queen of My Self, by Donna Henes, the Urban Shaman. Among other ingredients, it has one of my poems, "Penelope" in it. If you don't like to think of yourself as a crone, this is IT - think of yourself as a Queen, and here is how to do it. I can't recommend it strongly enough! You'll want a copy, and I'm not letting my copy out of my sight again."

- Karen, NJ

As a sister-Queen, I proudly stand in the authentic truth of my own talents and abilities and I proudly proclaim my desires to help transform the world (and shift the patriarchal paradigm) through my thoughts, words, deeds and actions (including my writings!).

- Queen Mary Immaculata, CO

I think the most important thing is that becoming the Queen of My Self is a process and an ongoing one at that. The confidence and self esteem that a Queen radiates makes her beautiful. Her beauty comes from within and shines through her eyes, her smile, her words, and her gestures. It comes from being your own unique self.

L.a., PA

I am coming into my Queendom and I am so proud. I have been through hell and back, and now I am finally able to proclaim that I am the boss of me. How liberating that is.

- Lisa, MI

I am 40 this year. I have been looking forward to this birthday since I turned 30. That was a traumatic year. I thought I was maybe a little off for being so anxious to get to what so many of my school friends and countless other women seem so horrified by. Then I started hearing about this Queen archetype. It suddenly made sense. I know 40 isn't a magic number, but to me it is a signal of great things to come.

- Kim, IA

Being a Queen means knowing how to access my life force energy, what activates it, what zaps it, AND granting myself permission to do whatever it takes to stay connected to this inner fountain of youth!

- Daina, MI

A Queen knows she is worthy based on nothing but the truth that she IS Goddess in Form

-Phoebe, NC

I suppose Queening is self-proclaimed,

- Lauree, NY

You got it, girlfriend! You are the Queen, because you say you are the Queen. You feel it and think it, and show it, and therefore you are! The Yoruba have a saying, "You crown your own head."

- QMD

- Roseanne Barr