Pissed! 

What Is This Country We Live In? 

In the last issue I wrote that I was pissed by the extent of violence and abuse directed toward women worldwide. My righteous indignation is shared by women everywhere and, I am glad to say, by many men, as well.

This is from The Times of India Bollywood section:

What is this country that I live in, asks Farhan Akhtar

"Disturbed over the recent brutal gang rape of Jyoti Singh Pandeyin Delhi and the way women are being treated in our country, prominent filmmaker Farhan Aktar expresses his angst and anguish in this moving poem. He stirs our collective conscience with hard-hitting questions."

Just keep asking the question

What is this country that I live in?

The Queen's Court is a gathering of sovereign women of a certain age - our dear peers - who graciously offer information, guidance, inspiration and encouragement to each other.

We Queens know what we know. And we know a great deal. Our experience has made us wise. So, feel free to consult with our cyber council/counsel when you are need of sage advice or wish to explore a particular topic of interest.

Hello Queen Mama Donna,

I have enjoyed your offerings for years. I have been inspired by you on a regular basis. I have been very much more confident since being re-introduced to the woman I have become - I am Queen of Myself and I like it.  

I teach women movement, creativity, holistic health and wellbeing through dance and music, etc. Years ago in my thirties I was pretty much let go of my job in the public recreation department because I offered courses for women only. I had to explain my philosophy to a group of middle-aged white men who ran the department. I pointed out that whilst men and women were equal we are different and both have to have their needs met. Women live longer and many live alone for the final part of their lives. These women need programmes that support them and address their unique needs and issues.

I moved soon after this and was welcomed with open arms at a different public facility that catered to mature adults. My women's programmes were considered both unique and very valuable, and I was encouraged to offer more. Then suddenly one man complained that we were supposed to be inclusive and denying access to men was not inclusive. Consequently, all my programmes were cancelled. I was asked to offer men only courses in order to keep my women only courses alive. I pointed out that I was not trained to do that, that I really don't know what makes men tick. I teach women and to deny women courses when they had others who could in fact offer men's courses (we had a male instructor on staff) was certainly not the way to go.

So, now, once again I am going through the same issues I fought when I was in my thirties. I am 65 now. I chose to work in the public sector because it kept the cost of programmes lower and I actually reached women with little disposable income - the women who most needed what I had to offer. I could of course allow both genders into my programmes, but then the entire content would have to change. Most women will not open up about personal issues when there are men in the room.

Can you give me some word of encouragement? Can you please make me feel a bit better today ? Ghandi said "Be the change you want to see." I am trying, but I can't believe I am still having to repeat the same battle. Will things ever change? I keep repeating the serenity prayer, but I am still disappointed. I will keep fighting, quietly from behind and will not sacrifice my principals in this matter. You are a source of strength for me. Thank you for allowing me to share - or rant - the latter may be more appropriate today.

- Deanne, BC, Canada

Dear Queen Deanne,  

My heart goes out to you. But you are not a victim! You keep standing up for what you believe in. You fight for your principles. You do not back down and you keep trying. That is not a powerless person. There is huge power in defending your principles and beliefs. It is because you are exhibiting power that you keep getting shut down.

I do know how incredibly frustrating that is. But as far as I can tell, the only choice you have in that situation is either to be firm in your center or to collapse. And from what I can sense in your letter, you are not going to allow yourself to collapse. I am sure you must be exhausted by the struggle. You are battle weary. So maybe you have to be still for a while and strategize before you make another foray into the land of stupid threatened men with too much authority. 

I offer you the encouragement to stick to what you believe and to empower yourself to face down the demons - or, better yet, ignore them completely by offering your women's classes in venues run by and for women. If the system does not want you, that is its loss. Make your own system. Talk with women's groups, YWCAs, church and synagogue sisterhoods, retirement communities, etc. Maybe you have to create your own niche where your dedication and good work is appreciated. And YOU call the shots.

And that, I think, is how things change. One outside-the-box creative idea, one daring action at a time. Things out there will not, can not, change unless we decide to take the reins and change them. 

If you don't mind, I would like to share this letter in the Queen's Court section of The Queen's Chronicles for other women to respond to your situation with ideas and inspiration to support you in your struggle.

Feel better, dear Queen, and give yourself the credit you deserve. After you take a nap.

With best blessings of empowered enterprise,

xxQMD

Action is the antidote to despair.

- Joan Baez

I would love to continue this thread of discussion. Please send your thoughts, opinions, and personal experiences in response to Queen Deanne's query.

Please send your questions or responses to thequeenofmyself@aol.com

Your letters will be printed in the next Queen's Chronicles.

Use anything you can think of to understand and be understood, and you'll discover the creativity that connects you with others.

- Martha Beck

Annie Lanzillotto,, NY; Alessandra Belloni, NJ; Barbara Hammer, NY: and Linda Mary Montano, NY; on their performances and/or performances of their work.

Barbara Rose, FL, Soul Mates Courtship with Destiny (Book) and Your Loved One Just Visited You! (Book); and Maria Yraceburu, NM, 13 Prayers for Now (Book & CD) on their new publications.

Eleanor Antin, CA; Ida Applebroog, NY; Lauren Curtis, NJ; Mary Beth Edelson, NY: Karen Guancione, NJ; Reynolds, NY; Joanne Reynolds, NY, Barbara Rosenthal; Nina Sobell, NY; and Hannah Wilke, (RIP) on the exhibitions of their artwork.

Please send your good news, achievements, accomplishments, successes and celebrations so that our international circle of sovereign sisters can send you blessings and accolades. 

EVERYWHERE!

 WOMEN'S MOVEMENT IS WORLD WIDE!

 The Internationalization of Women's Issues

 By Luisita Lopez Torregrosa  

 Published: January 8, 2013

NEW YORK - At the dawn of this new year, a note of cautious      optimism is rising from female leaders, activists and advocates  who  are anticipating major new strides as "women issues" go  global.

"Women issues are world issues," Michelle Bachelet, the executive director of U.N. Women and former president of Chile, said recently. "Today there is greater awareness than ever before that women's full participation is essential for peace, democracy and sustainable development."

At the same time, Alyse Nelson, chief executive of Vital Voices Global Partnership, a nongovernmental organization that trains and empowers emerging female leaders and social entrepreneurs around the globe, noted that "the pace and nature of globalization have worn away the distinction between 'women's issues' and global issues. In 2013, women who find real solutions and leverage their leadership to empower others will rise to the international stage in increasing numbers - and not because they're women."

"I believe these women are the vanguard of a new era of global leadership."

The 13 Indigenous Grandmothers for Peace

A universal vision seems at work here: Elect more women as heads of state and government (there are only 21 worldwide) and to parliaments, and promote more women to corporate boards and executive positions; advance and empower women in the developed and developing world; close the gender pay gap; and improve workplace conditions.

Meantime, violence against women, a central focus of U.N. Women's agenda, has exploded as a world issue.

"In some countries, up to 7 in 10 women will be beaten, raped, abused, or mutilated during their lifetimes," Ms. Bachelet said. "There can be no peace, no progress, when women live under the fear of violence."

India, the world's largest democracy, was put on notice that women would not be silent anymore. Thousands of people have joined female demonstrators against government and police mishandling of rape cases and insensitivity to women in general. Large protests over a fatal gang rape became front-page news around the world, and protesters, led by women, demanded stronger laws against rape, sexual harassment and child abuse.

Separately, the Women in the World Foundation, which will have its fourth annual conference in New York City in April, announced that a fund-raising appeal in the name of Ms. Yousafzai had collected more than $100,000 in donations that the foundation said would go toward girls' education in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Some progress has been made on that score. "In countries around the world, we see women's educational achievement growing to the point that in many countries, more women than men are attending university," says Liza Mundy, a fellow at the New America Foundation and author of "The Richer Sex," about the rising number of female breadwinners. The near-fatal shooting of Ms. Yousafzai, she says, "demonstrated the real import of schooling for girls and women, and it also shows how deeply threatening this can be to extreme traditionalists."

Taking on another big issue, Catalyst, a nonpartisan organization for the advancement of women in business, is kicking off a plan to get more women onto corporate boards. "We expect 2013 to be the year when momentum builds for women in leadership," Ilene H. Lang, Catalyst's president and chief executive, said by e-mail. "Corporate boards are top priority." Women hold only 16.6 percent of Fortune 500 board seats. To help close that gender gap, Catalyst plans to enlist chief executives who would sponsor board-ready women into leadership positions. In Europe, Viviane Reding, the commissioner for justice, is leading another big push for women on boards. Allied activists have produced a register of thousands of board-ready women to counter arguments that there is a shortage of qualified candidates.

A big lift to American women came with the record number of women (20) who won seats in the U.S. Senate. The old tag "Year of the Woman" has been revived, and fresh momentum injected into the campaign to elect a woman president in 2016.

It's no news that Hillary Rodham Clinton - recovering from a blood clot and other illnesses - is the undisputed Democratic front-runner. But the names of Democratic female senators also pop up, including Kirsten E. Gillibrand of New York and the newly elected Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts.

The female senators make up just 20 percent of the 100-member Senate but are drawing outsize attention. Known challenges await them in and out of Congress, like efforts to restrict abortion rights and cut back or end federal funding for women's health programs like Planned Parenthood.

Familiar issues like equal pay, workplace policies, family-work balance and political power haven't gone away in the United States or anywhere else. Basic needs and basic rights remain elusive for many women in the developing world. And those issues, too, will not go away anytime soon. But more women in more regions of the world are stepping up and living better lives, just about everyone in the field agrees. And as the old women's issues become global, the expectations rise, and the challenges get larger.

With the globalization of women's issues, world organizations are drumming up the support of activists the world over, of marquee names and celebrities. At the first Trust Women conference, convened by the Thomson Reuters Foundation and the International Herald Tribune in London in December, participants and speakers - from Queen Noor of Jordan to Christy Turlington - debated complex issues like sexual slavery, child marriage, and the role of women in the Arab world.

We have the whole world in our hands!

Please Submit Your Royal Reports

Tell us about your Self and/or your Queen Group: who, what, where, when, why?

What Queenly topics do you explore?

What projects do you engage in?

Describe some golden regal moments.

Send pictures!