In Case You Missed It...
Recap of Local Parenting Events
Below are brief summaries of two recent events for parents in our community. Both took place in October. The first, "End Distracted Driving," held at Radnor High School, stressed the importance of reducing temptations and adjusting your surroundings to reduce distracted driving and its potentially tragic consequences. Another program, "Character Building For Success," held at The Shipley School, focused on how to raise children in the age of entitlement.
"End Distracted Driving --
An Adult Presentation"
Radnor High School, October 13, 2014
PresenterJoel Feldman, Esq. Founder of Casey Feldman Foundation, was the presenter. His daughter, Casey Feldman, was killed by a distracted driver in 2009.
Reasons for the Program
More than 10 people are killed and 1000 injured every day from distracted driving. These casualties are 100% preventable. The presentation served to raise awareness and help promote safer driving habits.
Main Takeaways for Parents and Families
There are 3 types of distracted driving: Manual, Visual and Cognitive.
Distracted driving is any activity which:
- Takes our hands of the wheel (manual)
- Takes our eyes off the road (visual)
- Takes our mind off the primary task of driving (cognitive)
It is important to honestly reflect on how you engage in any of these.
You are a Role Model
Your kids learn from how you drive and behave in the car.
Joel reminded everyone to "Be the driver you want your teen to be."
Talk with you kids about it
If you sometimes drive distracted, then admit you do it and ask your kids to help you stop. Discuss how they can speak up for themselves if they are passengers in a car when the driver drives distracted. Suggest that they speak up and:
- Acknowledge the dangerous behavior
- Voice their feelings
- Solve the problem by offering a solution (e.g. "Put your phone down, you need to focus on driving. "You can call later," or "I can answer the phone for you.")
Habits are hard to change. Commit to changing and plan ahead.
Prepare before you drive. Reduce temptations and arrange surroundings so you will not engage in distracted driving. Distracted Driving is a selfish choice. You control your choices.
For a Family Safe Driving Agreement between you and your child, please visit http://enddd.org/simple-steps-we-can-take-for-safer-driving/
"Character Building For Success"
The Shipley School, October 9, 2014
Michele Borba, Ed.D. Dr. Borba has written more than 20 books about the healthy development of children and the healthy relationship between parent and child. Information for character building is the focus her book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions-101 Answers for Parents.
Reasons for Program
Dr. Borba asked, "How do we raise a generation of children in an age of the 'selfie' and entitlement?" Studies of adolescence show a 40-year trending increase in narcissism and a decrease in empathy among adolescents. She also noted an increase in mental illness over the last 20 years among college students.
Main Takeaways for Parents and Families Parents should provide their child with unconditional love and acceptance, reachable expectations and opportunities to be heard. Aim to be respectful and democratic.
Character building suggestions
- Develop face-to-face communications skills. Too much time is spent on the computer and texting. Foster at least some consistent face-to-face communication with no screens present.
- Encourage a child to stand up straight and develop good body language which enhances well-being and discourages bullying.
- Boost self-control by practicing delayed gratification.
- Develop coping skills by using the 1-3-10 method. When needing to settle down or de-stress, take 1 second to calm down, take 3 deep breaths and count to 10.
- Encourage your child to develop grit. Emphasize and praise their efforts, not the final grade.
- Develop a method for problem solving using STAND method:
(S) stop, calm down
(T) tell what's wrong
(A) assess alternatives to solve the problem
(N) narrow choices
(D) decide on the right solution
Reminder for helping children adopt new habits
It takes at least 21 days to change a habit or develop a desirable character trait. Therefore, parents should encourage their children to focus on a desired character trait for 21 days to yield more lasting results.
The top 8 traits desired by employers today are: communication skills, work ethic, team work, initiative, interpersonal skills, problem solving, risk taking and empathy.
For More Information
www.MicheleBorba.com and twitter - @micheleborba
College Overwhelmed by Kadison
Mindset by Carol Dweck
Mistakes That Worked by Jones
The Optimistic Child by Martin Seligman
The Big Book of Parenting Solutions by Michele Borba