March 2016
Are You the T in Toxic?
In last month's issue of Shawn's Shout Out, we discussed the telltale signs of a toxic work environment. But how do you know if you're contributing to the negative atmosphere? What can you do if you're the "T" in toxic?

The Desire to Control

According to Swiss psychologist Ellen Miller, everyone has experienced some degree of neglect, disappointment, unkindness, or pain as a child. In our adult lives, we have two choices: pull it up to our conscious awareness, or repress it. Most people choose repression, because the process of becoming aware of the associated "bad" feelings is upsetting.

Controlling, improper, demoralizing, and sometimes violent behavior can be the result of the repression of a childhood trauma, especially when combined with pressure at home or work. You may be the T in toxic if you've developed a misguided belief that rigid standards and controlling behavior leads to better performance. Have you blurred the line between being demanding and being an ogre?


Signs You're a Super Controller

Do any of these statements ring a bell?
  • You're greatly bothered when people seem to get away with not doing a job right.
  • You go to great lengths to force co-workers or subordinates to maintain the highest standards at all times.
  • New freedoms in the workplace irritate you.
  • You tend to wither, tune out, or get angry when people complain about what's wrong.
  • Disorder of any sort bothers you immensely.
  • You often find yourself impatient and easily angered.
  • You want things your way.
  • People tell you you're too much of a perfectionist.
  • You think it's right for people to learn lessons the hard way. 
If you're seeing yourself in this description, you're likely a source of stress to others at work. In other words, you ARE the T in toxic! 

Fix It!

Separate the negativity around you from the person you truly are. Never justify your bad behavior by blaming your difficult work situation. You can't control what other people say and do, but you can control yourself.

How to Distance Yourself from Negativity

Implement as many of these new behaviors and routines as necessary to help you deal with your feelings more appropriately.

Bibliotherapy
A daily regimen of inspirational quotes, scriptures, poems, or self-help books specific to your needs provide guidance and positivity.

Self-assessment
Find assessments online, like this one from TalentSmart, or invest in a professional evaluation. Take stock of your interests, values, personality traits, and skills. The process of getting in touch with who you really are enhances employability, boosts confidence, and leads to a higher quality of life.  

Talk
Share your feelings with your partner, a family member, trusted friend, or HR representative at work. Just speaking up is therapeutic, but you might also find that it's easier to brainstorm solutions with someone else.

Write
When you can't talk, write in a journal, or blog (but don't trash-talk anyone publicly!).

Seek a Professional
Get help from a professional counselor.

In addition, you can revitalize your career and self-confidence by negotiating new hours (and flexibility), building a relationship with a mentor, becoming a member of a strategic support group, or asking for more supervision from someone you admire. Do what it takes to enjoy your work again!

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This article is adapted from content in Shawn McVey's presentation titled, "Take the Test: Are You the T in Toxic?" To schedule Shawn to give this presentation to your group or team, contact Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191 or by email.

What Would Shawn Do?

How to Hold a Brainstorming Session that Actually Works
 
Q:
Holding a brainstorming session with my team sounds productive and fun, yet very intimidating. How do I begin?
 
A:
Brainstorming is a useful tool for solving problems. Invite people with different backgrounds and areas of expertise. Sometimes a fresh outlook comes from someone who isn't considered an expert or close to the problem.

Before the meeting, give participants a brief explanation of the problem and its history. (This will help everyone prepare mentally.) The more specific the topic, the more you'll be able to focus on creative ideas related to the problem. Write the objective in the form of a question. For example: "How can we better understand the needs of our customers?"

Also distribute the rules beforehand, like "Criticism of ideas isn't allowed." "ALL ideas, no matter how wild, are encouraged." "The more ideas, the better."

Encourage participants to build on or combine the ideas of others. If there are more than 10 participants, create teams. Small groups encourage more sharing.

When the flow of ideas comes to a halt, you, as the facilitator/leader, should keep the conversation going. Try re-reading every third idea, or asking each participant to select one idea and give three reasons why s/he likes it, or keeping some ideas to yourself and sharing when the conversation dies.

Brainstorming can be tiring. The session shouldn't last longer than 30 or 40 minutes. Schedule another session if needed. Lastly, take notes, and save all ideas for future reference!

Good luck!

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If you have a question you'd like Shawn to answer in a future issue of our newsletter, please reply to this email or submit the question via our website on our contact form. (We will maintain your anonymity.) Thank you!
Meet My New, Exclusive Sponsor

I've got a shiny new design for my newsletter masthead! Want to know why? Because I'm announcing the next step in my business's journey: exclusive sponsorship by Veterinary Growth Partners!




My Dream

My long-term goals have always been to:
  1. be a change catalyst for the veterinary industry, and
  2. truly make a difference in your lives--the people who work, day in and day out, caring for pets. 
For more than 20 years, my fans, groupies, supporters--and even my detractors--have pushed me to keep creating new material, keep challenging them, and push our profession to greater heights. I am still gobsmacked that you all continue to ask for--and sometimes even demand--more, more, more! I want to honor that desire for more with progressive change for me and for my business, McVey Management Solutions.

What I've Been Doing Lately

During the last four years, I ventured into practice ownership and became a partner in Pathway Partners, LLC, a management service company that owns and directs the operations of veterinary practices throughout the United States. During that time, I was introduced to Veterinary Growth Partners (VGP). VGP is a membership organization for forward-thinking veterinary practice owners and managers. The company provides a Pathway to Success through a proven management system, education, tools, resources, and savings programs.

I was so impressed with VGP's vision that all of my practices became members. I decided to become a co-owner of the organization. And (drumroll, please)... I will be merging my consulting business with VGP! They are already the exclusive sponsor of my Pathway Planning workshops, but from here forward, being a VGP member will allow you exclusive access to my Emotional Intelligence and Conflict Competence workshops. By 2017, I will speak exclusively for VGP members or at VGP-sponsored events.

My Advice

What does that mean to you? Well, you really should become a VGP member. There's no reason not to. I'll sponsor your first year of membership (more details here). After that, I think you'll find that the benefits (education, management tools, discounts, and rebates) will pay for your $300 annual membership fee many times over. Third-quarter rebate checks averaged more than $1,000 per practice--that's for one quarter of participation in the VGP rebate programs!

And if you attend just one of my workshops, you receive an approximate value of $1,000 in registration fees, meals, and supporting materials. I know many of you have wanted to attend the in-depth, three-day sessions, and now you can! All you have to do is become a VGP member, engage with their core partners, and pay travel costs. (A VGP Practice Coach will discuss the details with you once you've become a member.) The first workshops are scheduled for this fall:
  • Emotional Intelligence: September 9-11, 2016, Boca Raton, FL
  • Commando Conversations: November 4-6, 2016, San Antonio, TX
How to Stay in Touch

For the next few months at least, until the merger becomes final, I will continue to post as usual on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook. Follow me for words of wisdom about leadership, management, teambuilding, communication, conflict competence, and emotional intelligence. After that, my messages will be co-branded with Veterinary Growth Partners.

Thanks for Your Support

VGP is growing by leaps and bounds, and I want to grow with them. It is through this partnership that I can get the message of "IQ/EQ: Business with Feeling" to even more veterinary professionals around the world. If you have questions about my role in Veterinary Growth Partners, please contact me or my assistant, Cindy, via email. Or get in touch by phone at 888-759-7191. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your continued support. It means the world to me.

Upcoming Gigs

Here are Shawn's upcoming speaking and consulting engagements. For more information or to schedule services, contact Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191, or by email.

MARCH

March 17
New Hope Animal Hospital
New Hope, AR
Commando Conversations
Private Engagement

APRIL

April 7-9
Veterinary Growth Partners
Pathway Planning
Private Engagement
VGP members: register here!

April 12
Hillside Veterinary Hospital
Pathway Planning
Private Engagement

April 26-27
LSU Veterinary Hospital
Consulting Engagement

MAY

May 4
Academy for Veterinary Managers
Fairfax, VA
Speaking Engagement

May 12
CVC 
Virginia Beach, VA
Speaking Engagement
Calm, Cool, and Collected: Dealing With Conflict Like a Pro
Register here!

May 19-21
Leadership Seminar for Emergency and Specialist Veterinary Clinics
Gold Coast, QLD Australia
Speaking Engagement

McVey Management Solutions | 3930 Bee Cave Road | Austin, Texas 78746
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