November 2014

Take Cover! The Boss Is Coming, and She's in a Bad Mood!

 

Ever witness the devastation that you leave in your path when you're in a bad mood? Great leaders are emotionally aware, of themselves and others. When we try to define "great leaders," we think of strategy, vision, and powerful ideas.

 

But the reality is PRIMAL: Great leadership works through emotions. Whatever a leader does, her success is linked to HOW she does it. It's important to realize how influential emotions are on our ability to lead and the relationships we create with others.

 

 

Mood Soup, Anyone?

 

Moods at work are like the ingredients in a soup. Each person contributes his/her own flavor, but the spiciest one is the leader. Why? EVERYONE watches the boss! The leader talks more. The leader is first to speak on a subject. Others' comments often "parrot" or affirm the leader's comments. When others in a group raise a question, the rest of the group looks to leader for a reaction.

 

Not all emotions spread the same way. Cheerfulness and warmth are the best (easiest to spread). Irritability is less contagious. Depression hardly spreads at all. 

 

Of ALL emotional signals, smiles are the most contagious. We literally get emotionally hijacked by laughter. In a neurological sense, it is the shortest distance between two people's brains. Most work-related laughter has nothing to do with jokes or pranks; it's a response to friendly interaction.

 

Both good and bad moods perpetuate themselves and skew the employees' perception of the emotional climate of work.

 

Emotional Hijacking

 

Ever had a sour relationship with a boss or mentor, where the emotions involved disrupted your sleep or eating habits? Negative emotions are the worst: chronic anger, anxiety, and a sense of futility. The most frequent cause of negative emotions at work is the relationship with the boss! (90% according to one Yale study).

 

The percentage of time people feel positive emotions at work turns out to be one of the strongest predictors of work satisfaction. It directly correlates to attrition and retention. Put simply, leaders who spread bad moods are bad for business. Common sense holds that upbeat employees are more productive.

 

For every 1% improvement in the service climate, there is a 2 % increase in revenue!

 

Overall, the climate, or how people feel about working at a company, can account for 20% to 30% of business performance. What drives climate? 50% to 70% of how employees perceive their organization's climate can be traced to the actions of one person: the leader.

 

The discordant leader produces groups that feel emotionally discordant. People have a sense of being continuously off key. The emotional toll of dissonance is toxicity. Toxicity results in emotional hijacking.

 

When hijacked, people's flight-or-fight response is triggered, and they tune out or stonewall. Leaders do not usually intend to create dissonance, but they may lack the emotional intelligence skills required to change. The most important of these competencies is empathy. 

 

Intellect gets you in the door, but EMOTIONS ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN INTELLECT.

  

The Four Domains of Emotional Intelligence

 

There are four main domains of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

 

Self-awareness: Can I accurately identify my own emotions and tendencies as they happen? The competencies are emotional self-awareness, accurate self-assessment, and self-confidence.

 

Self-management: Can I manage my emotions and behavior to a positive outcome? The competencies are self-control, transparency, adaptability, achievement orientation, initiative, and optimism.

 

Social awareness: Can I accurately identify your emotions and tendencies as I interact with you? The competencies are empathy, organizational awareness, and service orientation.

 

Relationship management: Can I manage my interactions with others constructively and to a positive outcome? The competencies are inspiration, influence, developing others, being a change catalyst, conflict management, and teamwork and collaboration.

 

The research shows that the four domains of emotional intelligence are closely intertwined and build on one another. A leader cannot manage his emotions if he has little or no awareness of them. If his emotions are out of control, his relationships suffer. Self-awareness facilitates empathy and self-management, and these two, in combination, allow for effective relationship management.

 

An Unbiased Assessment

 

Research shows that leaders can improve and DO improve their emotional-intelligence skills, if they are willing. 

 

For an unbiased appraisal of your emotional intelligence strengths and weaknesses, we recommend completing this online assessment created by TalentSmart. It takes approximately 10 minutes to complete, and you immediately receive a report that details your emotional-intelligence strengths and maps out your growth opportunities.  

 

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Shawn presented a four-day version of this content at his workshop, "What's Your EQ: Developing Your Emotional Intelligence" in Austin this month. For more information about training on this and other topics that Shawn McVey can provide to your team virtually or onsite, call Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191, or email her.

Stop Avoiding and Start Confronting: Mastering Conflict at Work

 

Ever feel like conflict at work is dragging you down? Costing you money? Making you lose good employees? Join us for our Commando Conversations: Building Your Conflict Competence seminar in Austin, Texas, from February 26 to March 1, 2015.

 

This special four-day experience is jam-packed with opportunities to build skills, such as self-awareness, expert observation of others' behavior, and coaching. The class is highly interactive, including small-group exercises, time for reflection, and workshop-type skill building. After attending this program, you will have increased your value to the practice as a leader and improved your connections to team members who look to you for direction.

 

Awareness is a great starting point for transformation! Take this quick Teams and Conflict Checklist to test your team's current level of conflict competence.

 

Read more about the program, the venue, and the curriculum on our website, or register here. Be sure to register by December 31, 2014 to save $200 with the early-bird discount! 

 


 

We thank Live Oak Bank, our generous sponsor, for their contribution to this event. 

What Would Shawn Do?

 

How to Handle an Abusive Boss

 

Dear Shawn,

 

Q:

I'm a new receptionist at this hospital, though I was at another clinic for two years before I took this job. The owner-doctor talks down to me in front of clients and other staff, but I've never seen him do it to anyone else. He uses a condescending tone, points out my mistakes, and never says one nice thing to me--not even, "Good night!" I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, or how to handle it. Help!

 

A:

This is a classic example of allowing other people to affect you negatively, and it's all excused or justified under the, "He's the boss," statement. Remember that we teach people how to treat us.

 

Confront the doctor (respectfully) about which behaviors are making you uncomfortable and how those behaviors are affecting you and the hospital. Tell the doctor that you want to do a good job and be of service, but you must be respected and not abused or put down in front of your peers.

 

If you don't receive an apology and a response that indicates self-awareness and remorse for mishandling the communication, leave that hospital immediately. They don't deserve you, and they don't want to change.

 

Good luck!


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If you have a question you'd like Shawn to answer in a future issue of our newsletter, please reply to this email or submit the question via our website on our contact form. (We will maintain your anonymity.) Thank you! 

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In This Issue
Join Our Mailing List

Shawn's Gigs
Here are Shawn's upcoming speaking and consulting engagements. For more information or to schedule services, call Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191, or email her.


DECEMBER

 

December 9-11, 2014

AVETS

Monroeville, PA

Consulting Engagement

JANUARY

January 14, 2015

Metropolitan Emergency

Animal Clinic

Rockville, MD

Consulting Engagement

 

January 18, 2015

Veterinary Awards Dinner

Orlando, FL

 

January 30-31, 2015

Veterinary Specialty Ctr

Chicago, IL

Consulting Engagement

 

FEBRUARY


February 4-7, 2015

Veterinary Specialists in Private Practice (VSIPP)

2015 Conference

Savannah, Georgia

Public Speaking Engagement

 

February 18, 2015

Western Veterinary

Conference
Las Vegas, Nevada
Public Speaking Engagement
Register here!

February 26-March 1, 2015
Commando Conversations: Becoming Conflict Competent
McVey Management Solutions

Austin, Texas
Read more here, or register here! Early-bird deadline is December 31, 2014. Save $200!

 

MARCH


March 8, 2015

Associate Veterinary Clinics

Calgary, CA

Private Speaking Engagement

 

March 12-13, 2015

Rocky Mountain Veterinary Specialists

Boulder, CO

Consulting Engagement

 

March 27, 2015

Stream Valley Veterinary Hospital

Ashburn, VA

Consulting Engagement

Contact Us
Shawn McVey, MA, MSW
Chief Executive Officer

Based in Austin, Texas

Phone: 888-759-7191

Fax: 888-759-7193

 
For information and scheduling, please contact Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191, or email her.
 

3930 Bee Caves Road, Suite 9
Austin, TX 78746
888-759-7191

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