 |
How to Keep Your Cool with Raging Bob
"Oh, no. Please, no. Here he comes. What now?"
Raging Rob appears by your side with balled fists and furrowed eyebrows. He hasn't said a word, but his heavy sighs and the dramatic way he slams his coffee cup down speak volumes. Enter your queasy stomach and your colleague's ruffled feathers.
Once Rob opens his mouth, accusations--and spittle--fly out. Apparently, you are working with the chart he needs at that very moment, and he thinks you're doing it on purpose. Raging Rob's reputation for intimidating, yelling, and being disrespectful quickly clears the room.
At this critical moment, you must choose the best course of action. Do you give him an equine tranquilizer? Do you yell back and defend yourself? Or, do you sit there and take it like a pathetic schmuck?
 3-2-1... "He's Going to Blow!" Angry and hostile people are chronic belligerents who create a negative environment. To overcome inferiority and anxiety while bolstering their own feelings of self-worth, they act in a superior and aggressive way. They are generally unwilling to compromise, yet demand time and attention as they shift focus from the issue at hand to something petty. They tend to talk in loud voices or even yell, much like an adult version of a temper tantrum. Angry people see themselves as victims, which allows them to rationalize their behavior. Hostility quickly turns into accusations and personal attacks during arguments. You are seen as an opponent rather than a teammate. Is he also a sadist? These individuals love to catch you in a mistake and make you squirm. While correction is merited at times, it should never take the shape of habitual, cruel, verbal abuse from a browbeater. Getting Him to Simmer Down To break the cycle of anger begetting anger, focus on the results to be produced. Talk about what can be done to make things better. Here are some tactics to use with Rob, whether he's your colleague, subordinate, or boss: Keep your cool. Dealing with an angry person requires tact and sensitivity. Show him that you take him seriously, but inform him that you won't tolerate this type of behavior. "Rob, I understand you are concerned about what happened here, but I won't continue discussing it in this way. I won't tolerate yelling or slamming things in my presence." When you come face-to-face with him, maintain control of your emotions. Losing your temper and earning a nomination for "Best Scream" will only fuel the situation. Really listen. Let him vent without interruption. The simple act of listening will help you understand why he is agitated. Focus on his concerns (not his anger). Apologize. If his anger is caused by some mistake you made, do not hesitate to apologize immediately. Never make excuses or give justifications. Acknowledging your mistake could succeed in defusing his temper. Be safe. Proceed with communication only after eliminating the option of physical harm. If that is not possible, leave immediately. If you are not the direct target of someone's rage, it might be best to avoid interfering. You don't want to provoke the situation further. Try to mediate only if you suspect the potential for violence. If You Are the Rager... While we used "Raging Rob" to characterize this personality at work, it could just as easily be "Raging Rebecca." Anger takes many forms, not just yelling or throwing things. It varies from rage, violence, and fury on one end to pouting and stubbornness on the opposite end. In between are: - Revenge
- Indignation
- Jealousy
- Vindictiveness
- Spite
- Hatred
- Contempt
- Argumentativeness
- Hostility
- Sarcasm
- Impatience
- Frustration
- Negativity
- Revulsion
- Rebellion
- Agitation
- Abrasiveness
- Sullenness
Do you recognize any of these forms of anger in yourself? There are times when anger is helpful, such as motivating you to take action. You don't always have to repress anger or view it as a "negative" emotion. For example, if you're resentful that your boss never acknowledges your efforts, you can use that angry energy to find a better job or take a class to improve your conflict communication skills. Anger has many sources, including self-sacrifice, lack of acknowledgement, ego, pride, and expectations. Focus on your triggers, or hot buttons, to understand them and then forgive yourself for them. It is the relinquishment of the need for approval of others and the turning inward toward self for understanding and approval that you can find release from the anger. Once you do, you'll find that the people who push your buttons disappear from your life, or they stop pushing your buttons, or you no longer react to the button-pushing the way you once did. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For more information about training on this and other topics that Shawn McVey can provide to your team virtually or onsite, call Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191, or email her.
|
Make More $ with Emotional Smarts
According to TalentSmart, the number-one provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, people with high emotional intelligence scores earn $29,000 more per year on average than people with low emotional intelligence scores. Click here for a free resource that explains the four basic emotional intelligence skill sets.
And if you'd like to dig a little deeper into those four domains so that you can see exactly what you'll evaluate in the class, click here to see the 19 competencies that make up self-awareness, self-management, relationship awareness, and relationship management.
If you are intrigued by what you see there, you're a perfect candidate for our workshop, What's Your EQ? Developing Your Emotional Intelligence in Austin, Texas this November 13-16, 2014.
Together, we'll unpack the 19 competencies of emotionally intelligent leaders, see which competencies are your greatest strengths, and further develop your competencies throughout the program. You'll experience interactive and reflective exercises that give you plenty of opportunity to practice your new skills. You'll also receive a 15-page customized report detailing your strengths and weaknesses in emotional intelligence and how you compare to others nationwide.
Read more about the program, the venue, and the curriculum on our website, or register here. Be sure to register by September 15, 2014 to save $200 with the early-bird discount!
We thank Live Oak Bank, our generous sponsor, for their contribution to this event. 
|
Breaking Up Cliques
Dear Shawn,
Q:
How do you break up a clique at work? Two technicians, one senior and one junior, are noticeably in like with each other as professionals. They are uber polite to each other and shower each other with affection and kindness. Not a problem, except they leave everyone else out. Now there is a rift between them and the other technicians. To top it all off, the senior technician, who has been with the doctor her whole career, makes inappropriate remarks about how he runs the business. Please help!
A:
Cliques that become "mean girls" are a common problem in veterinary hospitals. You have two primary strategies when confronted with this operational problem. The first step is to implement a culture of direct communication.
No one gets to talk about anyone or anything unless they go directly to the source of his or her frustration or concern. It is imperative to eliminate triangular communication, as managers can never gain traction in a he said/she said environment. IF someone claims to be "venting," it should be verbalization about what s/he is feeling, not about another's shortcomings or a judgment about that person's motives and behavior. Once you make this edict, it is your job to hold the insubordinate gossiping employee accountable.
The second thing that you can do is rearrange the two toxic employees' schedules or roles in the hospital so that they have less direct contact with one another.
If you have already tried to talk directly to this technician about her behavior and she is not responsive to the coaching, tell her that your next stop will be to take the problem to the owner of the practice and that you will not let up until her behavior changes. Go to your practice owner prior to this communication and gain his confidence. Ask him to support you by directing the toxic employee back to you should she try to go around you by going directly to him.
Good luck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you have a question you'd like Shawn to answer in a future issue of our newsletter, please reply to this email or submit the question via our website on our contact form. (We will maintain your anonymity.) Thank you!
|
Pathway Planning: How to Get Traction is a workshop by Shawn McVey that will revolutionize your veterinary practice operating system!
Attention, members of Veterinary Growth Partners! Please join us in Austin, Texas on October 24-26, 2014 for a unique educational event that will leave you feeling exhilarated about your practice's future! The curriculum, taught by Shawn McVey, is full of opportunities to build planning, marketing, and hiring skills. Each session is designed to be engaging and focus on individual elements to make you into a more effective planner.
Pathway Planning is a system for diagnosing and assessing your hospital's business health. A finished Pathway Plan is analogous to a treatment plan for your hospital. As in human medicine, treatment plans are only useful if they are followed.
Most hospital owners and managers are great at diagnosing their problems, but lousy at ongoing assessment and following a plan to fix what ails them. Pathway Planning addresses this shortcoming. It makes your mission, vision, and values an interactive part of everyday planning and action.
You'll learn to:
- Rely on the knowledge that you have power and vision as a leader
- Recreate your strategic plan and make it a concise, actionable document
- Develop and maintain a 90-day accountability cycle
- Build and strengthen your marketing skills
- Run meetings the right way
- Hire the right people for the right job and let go of those who don't fit
- Systematically identify and repair problems
- Track only your most important metrics
- Become an excellent problem solver
- Use your data to develop short-, medium-, and long-term solutions
This Pathway Planning workshop is sponsored by Veterinary Growth Partners and is available for no charge exclusively to its members--a value of $1,495 per person! Read more about the workshop here.
BONUS FOR SHAWN'S FANS!
Shawn McVey would be honored to sponsor your first year of membership in Veterinary Growth Partners. That means you will receive 12 months of membership for no charge--a value of $995. You can read more about the benefits of membership here, or sign up here (enter the code MCVEY in the comments section of the enrollment form).
|
If you can't get enough of Shawn, you can connect with him on social media:
Follow his feed on Twitter.
Like his page on Facebook.
Join his network and see his posts on LinkedIn.
If you're getting this newsletter as a forward, please click the "Subscribe Now," button in the newsletter, sign up for the newsletter here, or text MMS to 22828.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Shawn's Gigs
Here are Shawn's upcoming speaking and consulting engagements. For more information or to schedule services, call Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191, or email her .
Shawn is available for phone/email/Skype consulting. Schedule your appointment now!
SEPTEMBER
September 19-21, 2014
New England Veterinary Medical Association
Portland, Maine
Public Speaking Engagement
September 28, 2014
Associate Veterinary Clinics
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Private Speaking Engagement
OCTOBER
October 3, 2014
Veterinary Leadership Group
Fall Meeting
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Private Speaking Engagement
October 8, 2014
Chicagoland Veterinary Managers Group
Chicago, Illinois
Public Speaking Engagement
October 24-26, 2014
Pathway Planning: The Road Map to Success
Austin, Texas
Private Speaking Engagement
(for Veterinary Growth Partners members only)
NOVEMBER
November 2, 2014
Associate Veterinary Clinics
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Private Speaking Engagement
November 4-5, 2014
Aquia-Garrisonville Animal Hospital
Stafford, Virginia
Consulting Engagement
November 7, 2014
Illinois State Veterinary Medical Association
Lombard, Illinois
More information here, or register here.
November 13-16, 2014
What's Your EQ? Developing Your Emotional Intelligence
A McVey Management Solutions Leadership Retreat
Austin, Texas
More information here, or register here.
DECEMBER
AVETS
December 9-11, 2014
Monroeville, PA
Consulting Engagement
JANUARY
Dates TBD
Rocky Mountain Veterinary Cardiology
Denver, Colorado
Consulting Engagement
FEBRUARY
February 4-7, 2015
Veterinary Specialists in Private Practice (VSIPP)
Savannah, Georgia
Public Speaking Engagement
February 18, 2015
Western Veterinary
Conference
Las Vegas, Nevada
Public Speaking Engagement
Register here!
February 26-March 1, 2015
Commando Conversations: Becoming Conflict Competent
A McVey Management Solutions Leadership Retreat
Austin, Texas
Read more here, or register here!
|
Contact Us
Shawn McVey, MA, MSW
Chief Executive Officer
Based in Austin, Texas
Phone: 888-759-7191
Fax: 888-759-7193
For information and scheduling, please contact Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191, or email her .
|
|
|
|
|
