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Don't Butt Heads with Betty
No doubt you've dealt with a Backstabbing Betty at some point in your career. You know the one--she's nice to your face. But she can't wait until you turn your back so she can tell the surgery tech all about how you screwed up one out of fifty prescription refills today.
And let's not forget her penchant for sabotage. Remember how she offered to take that adorable golden retriever into the exam room? And how a few minutes later, Dr. C walked out of the room and asked where the dog was? Backstabbing Betty politely mentioned that you were the one taking care of it, and then gave you a lip-glossed smirk.
Beware of Backstabbers
Deceitful or underhanded people deliberately lie, cheat, and double-cross. They are sneaky, snarky masters of half-truths and distorted situations. They will go to great lengths to make themselves look good by making you look bad. Their number-one concern is their career, not yours.
Backstabber Colleagues:
- Are very nice to your face, but very critical of you behind your back
- Spread vicious rumors
- Take credit for your ideas and/or hard work in order to shine
- Sabotage your efforts
- Seek to destroy you
This type of co-worker can make your life absolutely miserable. You might find yourself being unduly criticized and publicly humiliated. When someone sabotages your tasks and projects, it can paint an inaccurate picture of you as an employee. Rumors cause emotional wounds, and they can tarnish or ruin your personal reputation.
How to Beat a Backstabber
Take care of this situation immediately! Backstabbers will stop at nothing, and you can't afford to hide or pretend it's not happening. And if you're hoping it will get better, it just won't. She is not going to have a sudden change of heart and become Beatific Betty.
Here are some tips:
When dealing with a Backstabbing Betty, form alliances with positive people who give you support and help you squash negative talk and unscrupulous behavior.
Pay close attention to what she says. Be mindful of how you feel around her. Ask for clarification if you receive mixed signals.
Definitely confront her! Backstabbing and double-crossing are forms of manipulation by someone who is disloyal, insecure, jealous, inept, vengeful, and unable to maintain relationships of any kind. Confronting someone with this personality will not be fun, but it is essential. Lies, gossip, and sabotaged projects can not only ruin your professional life, but they can cause irreparable damage to your personal life as well. Make sure you have your facts straight, then privately address the situation with fortitude and boldness. Try a statement such as:
"I need your help understanding why you offered to take Champ into the exam room but didn't. I also would like you to clarify why you told the doc that I was taking care of it. Because of your actions, the doc was not pleased, and he was late seeing the next client. While I don't know what motivated you to do this, I do know that I won't accept this happening again. I've spoken to the doc and he seems to better understand what happened. Please know that I am not the type of person who will stand by and watch while you continue to undermine me, impede the care of our patients, and waste the doc's time. If you have a problem with me, I'd like to resolve this now so that we can work together more effectively from here on out."
It doesn't feel good to be criticized. But when the Backstabber's criticism is legitimate, acknowledge it and work to resolve the situation. Own the mistake if it was yours, and apologize.
If her criticism is not legitimate, tell her so.
Offering a graceful way out of a confrontation will help to ease the pain and embarrassment for both of you. Use humor if you are comfortable with it. Humor promotes healing while moving forward in a positive manner. You could say something like:
"I'm sure you didn't mean for things to go this far, and I trust it won't happen again. From here on out, I pinky-swear to stay on your good side. Besides, now that I know even more about your 'talents,' I want you on my side! Let's do lunch on Thursday and discuss the inventory. I bet you have some great ideas about managing it."
If you've talked to Betty and she won't back down or capitulate in any way, you'll have to take the complaint to your boss. Don't focus on hurt feelings. Instead, show how the gossip or sabotage is causing the business to suffer.
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For more information about this and other training Shawn McVey can provide to your team virtually or onsite, call Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191 or email her.
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If you think running a business is all about IQ, you're missing out on something big! You also need EQ, or your emotional quotient. EQ measures how well you use emotional information to appropriately guide your thinking and behavior. Leaders with high EQ perform better across the board. And the good news is that EQ isn't innate-you can learn it!
If you're looking for a fresh new perspective on the leadership challenges that just don't seem to go away, join Shawn McVey for "What's Your EQ? Developing Your Emotional Intelligence" seminar in Austin, Texas this November 13-16, 2014.
We invite you to be a part of this special four-day experience where you'll explore your personal leadership style in a safe, supportive, and educational environment. After attending this program, you will have increased your value to the practice as a leader and improved your connections to team members who look to you for direction. You'll come home with techniques to continue building your skills in self-awareness, self- management, relationship awareness, and relationship management
As part of this program, you'll receive:
- A personal vision statement that details how you will lead the practice
- A 15-page customized report detailing your strengths and weaknesses in emotional intelligence and how you compare to others nationwide
- A personal development plan that will help you continue to build your emotional intelligence skills
Together, we'll unpack the 19 competencies of emotionally intelligent leaders, determine which competencies are your greatest strengths, and further develop your competencies throughout the program with interactive and reflective exercises that give you plenty of opportunity to practice your new skills.
The venue is close to Austin's wonderful downtown music, arts, and dining scene, and just as close to the beautiful Hill Country. This unique retreat is unlike any other continuing education event and is well suited for anyone in a leadership position.
Read more about the program here and see the detailed curriculum. If you have questions, please feel free to call us at 888-759-7191 or register by September 15, 2014 to save $200. We look forward to seeing you there!
Testimonials from past attendees of Shawn's emotional intelligence retreats:
"[Before the retreat], I had zero knowledge/understanding of emotional intelligence and failed to comprehend my leadership role in the practice. This experience opened a whole new world for me! Thank you!"
- Mary, veterinarian and practice owner
"I appreciated the opportunity to learn more about myself so that I can continue to grow and be challenged."
- Ann, practice manager
"I loved the interactive atmosphere and the ability to communicate with my teammates in a safe and constructive manner and learn here together."
- Dominic, veterinarian and practice owner; attended with five of his management team members.
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Recovering from a Miscommunication about Fees
Dear Shawn,
Q:
I called a client to tell him the cost of the procedure I was performing on his pet, and to get permission to perform another service. He authorized the additional procedure. But he had written the original amount I had quoted him next to the phone at home. He was shocked by the amount of the bill when he came to pick up his pet.
At the time, I had no clue why there was a problem. In my mind, he had approved the procedure, and I had clearly communicated the fees. I was not going to let $300 walk out the door. I thought he was just trying to cheat me. Months later, I realized what had probably happened. Would there have been a better way to handle this?
A:
Being direct and honest is always the best solution to a communication issue involving money. Call and him and state that you thought everyone was on the same page and would never have gone forward with the procedure without consent. Tell him that the relationship with your clients is a trust you take seriously and that it's important to the clinic that he can trust your integrity.
If you have a history with this client, ask what happened in the relationship that led him to a point where he did not trust your intentions. Ask him how you can fix that. It "costs" much less to make a disgruntled client happy than to recruit a new client to replace the lost revenue.
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If you have a question you'd like Shawn to answer in a future issue of our newsletter, please reply to this email or submit the question via our website on our contact form. (We will maintain your anonymity.) Thank you!
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More Retreats from Shawn McVey
We promised to keep you in the loop about Shawn's upcoming retreats, so here's the skinny. Some of this information has changed since our last newsletter, so pay close attention if you've already marked your calendars!
Who:
These programs are for practice owners, managers, doctors, administrators, and team leads who want to step up their game.
What:
Shawn covers strategic planning, emotional intelligence, and conflict competence in depth--each in its own program. The retreats take place over three or four days in a safe and supportive environment.
When:
Pathway Planning: The Road Map to Success
October 24-26 (for Veterinary Growth Partners members only)
What's Your EQ? Developing Your Emotionally Intelligence
November 13-16, 2014
Commando Conversations: Becoming Conflict Competent
February 27-March 1, 2015
Where:
The October program will take place in Austin, Texas at the beautiful Travaasa Resort and Spa.
The November and February programs will take place at the newly renovated corporate offices of Westlake Animal Hospital in Austin, Texas.
Why:
Shawn teaches these programs because he is passionate about making a difference in people's lives and in veterinary medicine. He combines his in-the-trenches experience with education in psychology and business administration to give you a unique educational experience. You go home with new tools and skills and a plan for how to incorporate them into the practice immediately.
Please contact us for more information or register now for "What's Your EQ?"
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Go the Distance with Shawn
Shawn is going to be off his feet recovering from foot surgery in August and September, so now is the PRIME TIME to schedule him to resolve those nagging issues. That's right! Shawn is available for "distance consulting" by phone, Skype, or email to do short consultations with you on issues like:
- What to pay your new specialist
- How to fire the trouble-maker who makes life miserable for the team
- Why your drugs expense never seems to be in line
- How to revamp your performance appraisal system
- Words to use in that difficult conversation you've got coming up
Shawn's rate for this short-format consultation is $200 per hour. We'd love to fit you in the schedule, so call 888-759-7191 or email us now! Send a short description of your issue, how much time you'd like to schedule with Shawn (one-hour minimum), and your availability for August 18 through September 12.
Though these services are always available, Shawn's availability is often limited due to his busy speaking and traveling schedule. So take advantage of the fact that he has to sit still for a month, and get that focused, practical, advice that you love so much.
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Shawn's Gigs
Here are Shawn's upcoming speaking and consulting engagements. For more information or to schedule services, call Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191, or email her .
Shawn is available for phone/email/Skype consulting. Schedule your appointment now!
SEPTEMBER
September 19-21, 2014
New England Veterinary Medical Association
Portland, Maine
Public Speaking Engagement
September 28, 2014
Associate Veterinary Clinics
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Private Speaking Engagement
September 30-October 1, 2014
Rocky Mountain Veterinary Cardiology
Denver, Colorado
Consulting Engagement
OCTOBER
October 3, 2014
Veterinary Leadership Group
Fall Meeting
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Private Speaking Engagement
October 8, 2014
Chicagoland Veterinary Managers Group
Chicago, Illinois
Public Speaking Engagement
October 24-26, 2014
Pathway Planning: The Road Map to Success
Austin, Texas
Private Speaking Engagement
(for Veterinary Growth Partners members only)
NOVEMBER
November 2, 2014
Associate Veterinary Clinics
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Private Speaking Engagement
November 4-5, 2014
Aquia-Garrisonville Animal Hospital
Stafford, Virginia
Consulting Engagement
November 7, 2014
Illinois State Veterinary Medical Association
Lombard, Illinois
More information here, or register here.
November 13-16, 2014
McVey Management Solutions
What's Your EQ? Developing Your Emotional Intelligence
Austin, Texas
More information here, or register here.
DECEMBER
AVETS
December 9-11, 2014
Monroeville, PA
Consulting Engagement
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Contact Us
Shawn McVey, MA, MSW
Chief Executive Officer
Based in Austin, Texas
Phone: 888-759-7191
Fax: 888-759-7193
For information and scheduling, please contact Cindy Oliphant at 888-759-7191, or email her .
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