I Heard Your Heart

Before kids master the ability to hide their need for love they demonstrate how important listening is to the human heart.  The little ones aren't afraid to reach out and grab your face and say "Mommy, listen!" or "Daddy, look!"  And then they grow up and, sadly, become very good at hiding their need for your approval and attention.  In fact, some become so good that they fool you in to thinking they want nothing to do with you.  Don't fall for it! 

Between school, homework, practices and tournaments, social events and your own life, it's easy to listen on the fly instead of actually hearing what's being said.  Your kids want to know you are listening.  Think you're a great listener?  Not so fast... here's what the International Listening Association says (and I admit, I was humbled by this):

-Most of us are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful about 75% of the time we should be listening.

-We listen at 125-250 words per minute, but think at 1000-3000 words per minute (in other words we are listening to our own thoughts more than the other person's words).

-Immediately after we listen to someone, we only recall about 50% of what they said.

So, knowing this makes us aware that we need to make extra effort to listen when our kids are talking... physically turn away from the tv or computer, put the phone out of reach, change posture.  These are tangible way so show your child you are actually listening.  Then repeat back to them what you heard them say... and even better, repeat back to them what you heard between the lines, not just the actual words.  Statistics show that on average it takes three times of listening and repeating before the listener actually understands what the speaker is trying to communicate. 

Here's the key point... your kids are craving you!  Your love, attention, approval, engagement in their life.  They must know you are listening.  Can you say to them "I heard you!  I heard your words and I heard your heart!"?  

  Lisa can be heard on the radio... click here to listen!

Know anyone else with kids?  Pass this along to them... let's work together to raise healthy, happy children.