I am retired. I am not supposed to get insomnia. Insomnia is for those folk that have the anxiety and pressure of dead lines, insurmountable debt, or 29 other things they have to think about which keeps them from getting a good night's sleep.
Let's see why am I not sleeping?
My left ear gets blocked with wax plugs more often than I like.
Will Butch and Deb like the buffet at the club tomorrow?
Where will I buy my cabernet clone 338 vines from?
I need a new belt because I have lost some weight and I must twist most of mine to make them hold up my pants.
What will my Spikers Trade stock pick be this week?
Are my koi getting to know me or will they come up and take food from any chubby guy?
Was my son in law offended today when we were on the Safari Tour and we were passing the Cheetah Race and found out that the cheetahs are "paired" with a dog early on in life as that helps the cheetah trust humans and he asked, "Are there special breeds the cheetahs do better with as partners like really really fast breeds like greyhounds?" and I laughed? I am still laughing and I still don't know if he was trying to be funny. It just cracks me up?
What is the best way to give away Angel tickets while raising money for Semper Fi Foundation?
Physical activity around this new house is helping me lose weight. My arms are smaller, my legs are smaller, my chest and bosoms are smaller. When will my stomach figure out I have been doing this physical activity.
When I die, will I still hear the voices? If so what will they be saying?
If the new Pope can wash the feet of muslims and women, why can't Republican's?
If you have to pay about 50% in state and local taxes when you win the lottery, why doesn't the government just come up with a 30 trillion dollar lottery and let someone win it? The debt issue would be handled.
When our guide on the Safari Tour explained that the number two cause of human casualties in Africa was the water buffalo then asked does anyone know the number one cause, I replied "Genocide". I was hoping for a bigger laugh. Hippos if you were wondering.
If flying B-2 bombers over North Korea's neighborhood get's that whacko to behave, why not fly one of Lindsay Lohan's home?
If the male spieces of a deer like animal is called a buck, then what do you call a male waterbuck? A waterbuck buck? (Peter D., need your help with that one, or a Redbuck buck, or a springbuck buck. I could go on and on because I am still not sleepy.)
Why would you want to live in a home formerly owned by Richard Nixon and not let people know?
Are both of the San Onofre nuclear power plants shut down and why? (The suspense was killing me. I looked it up and yes they are both closed down. The 64 page nuclear regulatory filing from March 8th was fascinating. In a nutshell the place has never worked properly and the closure and repairs will cost 470 million dollars. It does explain the 6 eyed sculpin fish I caught one day.)
Is Dennis really going to wear waders to our surf fishing contest on the 27th of April? This might not end well.
If I chose to go to the Master's this year (Don't worry Dave I am not going.) and wore black pants and a red shirt on Sunday, would people mistake me for Tiger Woods?
I can still do corneragami. Remember folding the corner of two pages and ripping them just enough to hold them together?
How come you have everything in a junk drawer except for what you are looking for?
If you carry the contents of a junk drawer from one house to another using a box and not a drawer and then empty those contents into a new junk drawer, are you officially a hoarder?
Dear Lord I hope I get tired soon.
What is worse, back washing into the milk carton or spilling the milk on your night shirt? Theoretical question I assure you.
God must have a sense of humor. He gave Bob Dylan one of the most amazing prolific song writing skills and that voice.
I keep waiting for a little lizard alien to pop out of the back of my hand where the metal plate and screws are.
I must pick out a Mangelsen Image for my wall above this computer.
I sure use the word I an awful lot in these blogs.
Even reading a chapter in a book about local geology has not helped, but I did yawn once. Alisio Beach has some cool rock formations at what is called The San Onofre Breccia, no relation to the non functioning nuclear plants.
I had to look it up. San Onofre comes from the Spanish recognition of Saint Onuphrius, the desert hermit saint of the 4th century. Which makes you wonder, if you are a hermit in the 4th century, how do you become a saint. Must have had a great agent.
There is no clock in my office. Valisy I of Russia had no clock in Moscow in 1404 and commissioned Lazar the Serb to make the first mechanical clock. Valisy and Lazar must have been proud of their accomplishment. Valisy might have said, "Wow, that is magnificent. What do you call it?" Lazar might have said, "A Clock." Valisy said, "A clock? Why do you call it a clock?" Lazar said, "Because it looks like one." Then Valisy might have said, "Ok, a clock. Let us set the clock." To which Lazar replied, "Ok, what time is it?"
The answer is 3:21 am and I will attempt to go back to sleep.
