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We had about 19 things we were going to share tonight. It has been a while since we posted and what can I say. There is nothing interesting to share.
I did drop a little piece of chicken on my shirt at lunch today. No, that is not very newsworthy but it got me thinking. I always seem to drop food on the same place on my shirt. Ok, it might not be the exact same spot, but it is an area about the size of a quarter.
It lies about 4.5 inches below my right collar and about two inches to the right of my heart. I was thinking, as I was trying my best to make the almost unnoticeable spot into a huge two tone stain in my shirt. I was thinking that if I just cut a hole in all of my shirts and sweaters right on the spot, I would never stain any shirts.
Really, think about it, skin and chest hairs are easy to clean up. A warm paper towel and you are good to go. I was thinking about the design or pattern that I could come up with to make the naked patch really classic. Then Devin came home from one of her many chores.
She had stopped by the grocery store and I was honored to help her unpack the groceries. It is always fun to see what she bought and figure out what we will be eating in the next several hours or days.
She was in a big hurry today as one of our dogs had gotten into something and Jacee's face had swollen up making her the ugliest Shar-Pei at the dog show. Of course that would be because she is a Golden Retriever.
Devin dumped the groceries and made a dash for the vet to see what was going down. (Don't worry Mike and Patti Jacee is fine.) As I went through the groceries, I was guessing meat loaf as she had two blends of ground beef (80/20 and 70/30), bread crumbs, onions, mashed potatoes to name a few.
BTW, I think we have cornered the market on butter. Like my old man, Devin cannot go to store with out buying butter. We now have 7 pounds of butter in various refrigerators.
Being retired, I thought I would take it upon myself to clean out the fridge and pantry. Devin had bought a loaf of bread, bring our total to 5 loaves of bread. Carbon dating equipment indicated some of these went back to last year.
Our inventory now only goes back about two weeks now.
I found a bag of Everything Bagels and it had Everything, salt, pepper, garlic, green mold, black mold, mold mites, and white hairy things. Then I discovered 4 open bags of tortilla chips. Most of them were from the last week or so, so we now have one full bag of tortilla chips.
There were two containers of cherry tomatoes in the fridge out in the garage. Devin makes the best Bruschetta around so we always have the tasty grape tomatoes on hand. These grape tomatoes had become raisin tomatoes. Normally, I would have dumped them in the trash out back. Today I tried something different.
I brought the tomatoes in the house and TRIED to run them down the garbage disposal. Have you ever noticed how things you want to go down the garbage disposal don't easily go down the disposal. The tomatoes started running for the sides of the farm sink (Named because it is as big enough for you to slaughter small farm animals.) as if they knew their destiny.
Have you also noticed that the things you DON'T want to go down the disposal easily drift toward the 19 horse powered blade. Forks, knives, spatulas, rings, and fingers don't seem to struggle as much as grape tomatoes, chopped green onion, or those damn corn flakes that keep swirling around the disposal edge teasing you reach down and push it in. But I digress.
It had been a chaotic day, but I was careful not to complicated Devin's life my running my hand down the garbage disposal. After all I had made browny points this morning.
I dropped off Jack and was heading back to the new house because the Big Top Tent was coming to our home. I had to meet the fumigators, give them copious paperwork that said they will be climbing on our roof and they may break the roof and it too bad. They may fall from the roof and it will be our fault and it would be too bad. They may poison us to death and that would be too bad. They may break and teal stuff from the house and it would be too bad. And you need to give us a check before we do all these things to you. But I Digress II.
Anyway Devin calls and asks where I am. Which I found interesting because there was this beautiful babe back at my house who looked a lot like Devin, who I told I was taking Jack to breakfast and then to school. But I played along and told her I was on my way back to our new neighborhood to pay people to destroy our new home with a big circus tent.
She then said, "Ok, never mind." OMG I really go crazy when she does that. Of course, I probe, "What dear? What do you need." Hoping to once again hear, "No never mind."
She then explains that she was in the new house with the carpet lady. (To clarify that would be a female who sells carpet, not a woman made out of carpet.) Now I found that amazing, as the beautiful babe back at the house who looked a lot like Devin said she was going to be at the new house with a lady made out of carpet. What a coincidence? But I Digress III.
Devin then asks where the left over carpet from current house was. I explained that we moved to the commercial building we recently bought and asked, "Why?" Yes imagine me asking "why".
She explained that she was tossed between a couple of colors and wanted to see a sample of the carpet from the house. I quickly looked at the time and decided I could be super husband and offered to go to the building, cut off a sample, and bring to the new house in time for the circus to come to town.
After making the offer, I realized I did not anything to cut a carpet with. I sped to the local UPS store and bought their last box cutter and headed to the commercial building. I went to the kitchen to get the blades set up in the box cutter.
I realized I did not have a screwdriver to open the box cutter to set up the blades. I got a kitchen knife and tried but this screw was not budging. I gripped with all my might (This counts as therapy Christy.) and still could not make it budge. Then I looked over on the counter and there was a big beautiful Phillips screwdriver.
It was hermetically sealed in a heavy duty package with 12 other useful but inaccessible tools. I took the kitchen knife and in a scene from Psycho, began stabbing the carton of tools. (More Therapy)
Eventually I gained access to the screwdriver and began to unscrew the blade handle. On the last turn all the blades spilled out and the spring clip and sliding mechanism sprang all over the counter.
As I hurriedly reassembled the box cutter with the blade almost in the proper position, I ran out to the warehouse. (Boy and girls do not try this at home. Never run with a loaded box cutter.) I grabbed the carpet and began cutting a one foot by one foot sample. After the first cut the blade was wobbling.
I quickly went on line and read the positive attributes of a box cutter and did not see the word wobbly anywhere indicating to me this was not a good thing. About three inches into the second cut, the blade opened up spewing razors, and screws and springs all over my warehouse floor.
I stood and grabbed the corner of the carpet with my bare hands began to tear the carpet. Though my hand was throbbing and my inguinal hernia was rupturing again, I had my carpet sample. I made it to the new house and ran into the empty building looking for my lovely wife.
We took the carpet lady's (Don't worry I wont do it again even though it is tempting.) swatch plate and put the sample next to it and in about 4 seconds Devin said, I like the one on the swatch plate better. Where is a box cutter when you really need one.
The circus finally arrived and started setting up the big tent. We will have pictures tomorrow.
We ran a little long tonight so we will give the stock info tomorrow.
But before I sign off, Mary Kate was absolutely thrilled to be mentioned in the blog, that I had to say hey to Mary Kate again. She is very quick witted and could easily do her won blog, but is much smarter than I and keeps her quips to herself.
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Since 12/31/2012
