One Skill Set You Must Gain As A Leader
"The company owner doesn't need to win. The best idea does."
In 1974 Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann created the Thomas Kilmann Instrument or TKI. This instrument identifies which of five conflict styles you most often use based on a continuum of cooperativeness and assertiveness. One of these conflict styles, collaboration, is the most highly cooperative and assertive of all the styles. As I have assessed hundreds of leaders over the decade using the TKI, I have noticed that many want to get better at collaboration and don't know how.
Let me first state that using a collaborative style of leadership is truly an asset to have in your tool box but it is not the only style to practice. The TKI identifies four other styles, competing, compromising, avoiding and accommodating as important styles to use based on any given situation.
Collaboration is simply the act of working jointly with others on a project. While I use a simple definition, it is by no means a simple process. It is best to use a collaborative approach when you need "buy in" from a group of key people that will be involved in the implementation of whatever change is necessary. Also, you must have time to work through a process involving different opinions and ideas. Below are several steps and skill sets necessary to effectively collaborate:
1) Begin by clearly understanding and articulating the goal or end result desired from a collaborative effort. Do you want to improve a process, reduce waste, better serve the customer, etc.?
2) Understand the skills set necessary to be a collaborative leader include open-mindedness, empathic listening, approaching issue in a non-confrontational way and understanding mutual concerns.
3) Think and act in terms of both/and versus either/or. Is there a way to make both or all ideas happen versus one over the other? Think of growing the pie instead of dividing the pie. Use "we" language whenever possible.
4) Make sure everyone is heard and their opinions voiced.
5) Use consensus to agree to a solution and don't be tied to any one outcome ahead of the collaborative effort. If consensus is not achievable, the most senior leader may need to make the decision based on all input given.
Question for You:
Do you wish to work with others more effectively and creatively? Do you find yourself making command decisions that are often resisted? Do you feel like you are always compromising and negotiating to get only part of what you want? Do you find yourself avoiding difficult relationships or accommodating others so as to not create conflict?
Action for You:
Begin collaborating by observing other leaders that listen empathically and seek solutions that meet most or all of everyone's needs. Follow the steps listed above and find coaches or mentors to help develop you in those areas that are weakest for you. Understand that collaboration takes time but can provide some of the most creative solutions to problems and those solutions stick because the commitment from key stakeholders was created by a collaborative process that sought mutual gain.
"Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much"
Helen Keller
