"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity"
Author Unknown
In the last 20 years, I have researched, written and spoken on the successful habits of great leaders. We all know that being an effective communicator is at the top of this successful habit list. But the word "great communicator" can seem too large or too vague to get your arms around. I propose that you think of this phrase "great communicator" to include being a "great attentive listener." You may recall one habit of author Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is to 'seek to understand before you are understood.' While it is easy to understand the importance of this habit, putting it into practice can be excruciatingly difficult. Why is that? In a word...distraction
According to a 2010 Harvard study, we only give one-third of our attention to others. We spend 47% of our waking hours thinking about something other than what we are doing and the average smart phone user checks their device every 6.5 minutes. In a nutshell we have become "distraction" junkies.
According to a July 12, 2015 Huff Post article, great leaders need to be attentive for the following reasons:
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Attention is empathy
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Attention can make a difference between a strong and weak communicator
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People can feel when you actually listen to them. It is refreshing and they love it!
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Eye contact makes a difference. Psychology Today magazine calls eye contact the strongest form of nonverbal communication.
So, how can you learn to be more attentive? Try these strategies the next time you find yourself distracted:
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Turn off all electronic message reminders. These include email, text & voice messages, etc.
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When your phone rings or someone enters your office space, swivel or turn your chair away from your monitor or computer device so that you are not tempted to glance at it
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Close your eyes if necessary while on the phone to better hear the conversation
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Get immersed in meditation or mindful thinking by taking workshops & classes and practicing each day
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Paraphrase back what was said to show you were listening
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Keep notes of direct report and boss's family names and important events/dates
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Ask questions that show you care, i.e., "How was your daughter's softball game this weekend?"
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Ask them how you as their leader can help them be more successful in their work and take notes to show you are listening!
Question for You:
Are you an overscheduled leader that likes to get the adrenaline pumping by multitasking? Do you think you are able to be a good listener while accomplishing other tasks? Have you been told by others they want your full attention?
Action for You:
While we often praise the concept of multi-tasking, it is a skill that has its time and place. And the time is not when you have a boss, co-worker, staff member, spouse or child in front of you. Great leaders are great communicators that must be able to give their full attention to those that matter. With more distractions in our life than ever before, it is difficult to give your full attention to someone but not impossible. Start by understanding how appreciative you are when someone listens fully to yourself. Take that great feeling and build an "anti-distraction" plan for when someone needs your attention. The tips listed above will help you get on your way to becoming a great communicator and leader!
"Multi-tasking arises out of distraction itself"
Marilyn vos Savant
