This time of year many unhappy employees will resolve to find a better job in 2015. This means there will be plenty of tough conversations ahead for boss's to hear. We understand why employees leave organizations, i.e., horrible boss, poor pay and benefits, lack of career growth, mundane job, etc. But, what is probably less understood is the pain that an employer feels when their great employees leave.
One employer I spoke with who lost his "right hand" person in his office said he was disappointed in the employee for leaving, dreaded the thought of having to do some of the work himself and finally resigned to the fact there were no more options but to move on. The boss had many conversations with this employee but never thought the employee would pull the plug and actually leave. After the initial shock wore off there was a feeling of rejection, sadness and wondering as to what the boss could have done differently.
One of the best models to explain the process of losing a relationship is Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's five stages of grief written in 1969 in her book On Death and Dying. Not everyone follows these steps in order and some steps last longer than others, but in general, a boss feels the following:
- Denial- This person won't really leave. I know they said they will but I bet they will change their mind.
- Anger- This person doesn't realize how great they have it here. They were lucky to work for me. How dare they decide to leave!
- Bargaining- If only I was a better boss. If only I had given them more money, time off, better assignments, etc.
- Depression- I feel rejected and sad that I was not able to keep a stellar employee.
- Acceptance- This stage may never be reached but it shows up as calmness and often happens when a great replacement has been found.
The key to moving through these five stages is to feel each emotion fully without denying their existence. Finding a trusted peer or friend to talk with through each stage is also helpful.
The good news is the research that has been conducted by the Gallup Organization on ways to keep your employees productive and happy. The more you follow these twelve guidelines the better chance they will stay.
- Do I know what is expected of me?
- Do I have the materials & equipment to do the job?
- Am I doing what I do best every day?
- Have I received recognition or praise in the last 7 days
- Does management/leadership care about me?
- Is my development encouraged?
- Are my co-workers doing quality work?
- Do I have a best friend at work?
- Have I received feedback in the last 6 months?
- Have I received opportunities to learn & grow?
Question for You:
As a manager, have you experienced the loss of a great employee? Do you still wonder what went wrong and find yourself stuck in one of the grief stages?
Action for You:
Allowing yourself to feel each of the grief emotions is critical to moving through them. Use the Gallop points listed above and your odds of keeping a great employee increase dramatically. Also know that even with the points listed above and your continual growth as a leader, an employee's life is complex and there are times when it is not about you and what you did or did not do as a boss, but rather what is happening in their life to create the need for change.
