"Commitment is an act, not a word".
Jean-Paul Sartre
Mandy and Karen worked in the same department, but were so busy with their perspective projects, that they often did not have time to talk and catch up on their private lives. So, Mandy picked a date several weeks in advance and asked Karen to have lunch with her. Karen said yes immediately because she was looking forward to reconnecting with her good friend. Two days before the scheduled luncheon Karen had to back out because a relative was coming to town and asked to her to have lunch that day. Mandy understood but also felt hurt because of the amount of effort she had made in keeping the friendship and juggling her own schedule to make the lunch date work.
According to Merriam Webster's Dictionary, commitment means a promise to do or give something: a promise to be loyal to someone or something. In other words, you are giving your word to someone or something and changing a commitment impacts your integrity.
All of us have dropped commitments, myself included, but it should be the rare exception and not a common occurrence. Funerals, weddings, graduations can interfere with our commitments but they should be the rare exception. And if you need to change a commitment, you should make an effort to make it right. In the case above, Karen should go out of her way to reschedule the lunch date with Mandy and possibly pay for her lunch to make up for the disappointment.
Someone wise once told me to stick with the first commitment you make and not treat it as a "maybe", or see the commitment as "flexible" in case something better comes along. The twenty guests that committed to attending the party mentioned above, and did not show up, are essentially telling the hostesses that they found something better to do. I realize that some may have forgotten the date but a commitment means you write the date down in a calendar because your word is that important and maintaining your word is critical to your integrity.
Question for You:
Do you find yourself breaking commitments to people on a regular basis assuming they will be okay once they hear the reason? Do you find yourself saying "maybe" in case you need to back out or something better comes along?
Action for You:
Once you commit, and say "yes" to a project, committee or person, you need to follow through with one hundred percent commitment. There should be very few reasons to break your promise, and if you do, you need to find a way to make it up with true conviction.
Commitment is what
Transforms the promise into reality.
It is the words that speak
Boldly of your intentions.
And the actions which speak
Louder than the words.
It is making the time
When there is none.
Coming through time
After time after time,
Yearafteryearafteryear.
Commitment is the stuff
Character is made of;
The power to change
The face of things.
It is the daily triumph
Of integrity over skepticism.
Urban Dictionary, post by Ashbash, January 13, 2005
