"We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are."
Max Depree
I have been a part of the speaking, training and consulting world for over twenty two years. My guess is that I have given over 2000 presentations in that time and after each presentation I ask my client or audience for feedback using a paper or electronic evaluation form. I need to confess that I wait awhile to read these evaluations as some participant's comments can be brutally honest. I remember one participant telling me that I used too big of language or another saying that my ice breaker question was too personal or that I packed too much into the training and more time was needed. While these comments may not seem brutal to the outside world, to me they were personal, but so helpful! I can't imagine not asking for feedback and being stuck today in how I presented twenty two years ago.
So, why is it so hard to ask for feedback? Perhaps our rational brains want to hear how to improve but our emotional brains don't want to be hurt. I would argue that burying your head in the sand and staying the same year after year will hurt more in the long run than receiving critical, slightly stinging feedback hurts in the short term.
What are four reasons why we need to take time to reflect on our individual or group performance?
- To continue doing what works. This is the best part of an evaluation or reflection period is to hear and feel the good from you or your team's work.
- To improve on the performance by discovering what does not work and improving it.
- To reign in the ego. Sometimes we can get an inflated view of our performance and stop being open to improvement.
- To show others we care about them by asking for their opinions.
What are four powerful reflection questions that will help you learn from your experience? These questions may be asked individually or as a group and they move you from facts to emotions to meaning to future resolution.
- What surprised you about the event, report, project, initiative? This can involve all the senses, i.e., what they saw, heard, smelled, tasted or touched.
- How did it make you feel? This gets at the emotions, feelings and associations.
- What did we learn? This gets at the layers of meaning, purpose and significance to a subject.
- What should be our next steps? This moves the group to taking action as a result of the learning.
Question for You:
Do you find stopping and reflecting on past projects to be a waste of time? Are you future focused and anxious to quickly move on to the next project? Are you nervous to find out what needs improvement, especially if it concerns your work?
Action for You:
Take time to reflect. There is a small window of opportunity to learn what went well and what was missing from a project while memories are fresh. Capitalize on the feedback/ideas while you can. Learn to develop a thicker skin and ask for how to improve both individually and as a group. Schedule a reflection meeting at the close of a project so as to not forget to have the meeting. Take great notes from the feedback and review them when you start a similar project or experience.
"Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages."
Bob Parsons
