Happy Thanksgiving week!  I am truly thankful for having you as a reader..Your feedback, insights and ideas inspire me to keep finding ways to help you be more successful communicators at work and at home.

In my last edition I wrote about the differences between extroverts and introverts and how a one-size-fits-all approach to communication can backfire. If you will recall, introverts tend to gain energy from inside of themselves while extroverts need people and events around them to gain energy.

This week, let's explore how an introvert can gain credibility with an extrovert by stepping gently outside their comfort zone.

Great stretching,

Diane

P.S. If you are an introvert or extrovert, please comment on these tips or suggest other strategies you have used successfully to communicate with the opposite energy.

P.S.S. If you have another topic you would like explored in this newsletter regarding workplace challenges, please email diane@dianeamundson.com with your idea.

Why do extroverts have voicemail? To never miss a call.

Why do introverts have voicemail? To never answer the phone." 

 Devora Zack 

Sam looked forward to attending a conference to learn more about his profession but he dreaded the time before the conference began. Couldn't he just show up on time or better yet as the speaker began? He knew that connecting with his colleagues was important for his social health as well as his career, but certain people made him uneasy with how much talking and sharing they did with others. He wondered what was the least amount of energy he could expend without appearing rude or stand-off-ish?

Sam, like many introverts, enjoys time alone or limited with others. Often he feels like a lone sailor in a sea of extroverts. How can Sam learn to navigate this sea while still finding the calm waters he needs to complete his work?

Let's first start by identifying what extroverts prefer. According to Psychology Today the following eight signs may reveal you are an extrovert:

• You have numerous, broad interests
• You like to communicate by talking
• You enjoy being at the center of attention
• You tend to act first before thinking
• You enjoy group work
• You feel isolated by too much time spent alone
• You look to others and outside sources for ideas and inspiration
• You like to talk about thoughts and feelings

Sam needs to understand that extroverts are not wrong in their communication style or out to make his life miserable; they simply have a different way of gaining energy.

If you are an introvert, try these seven tips when working with an extrovert:

• Greet them with eye contact and an enthusiastic handshake

• Ask them how they feel about______ (fill in the blank with the weather, the conference you are both attending, the holiday season approaching, etc.)

• If you admire something about them, share that with them, i.e., their clothing, ability to communicate with anyone, quick thinking, etc.

• Let them know that you need time to process information when called upon for an immediate response...don't ignore them if they ask you a question

• If an extrovert reports to you, allow them time in the day for group work where they may brainstorm and troubleshoot with others. This is especially important if they had to be alone for a period of time, i.e., writing a report or analyzing data, etc.

• Let them know you need uninterrupted time if a deadline is approaching so they get the hint to not interrupt you

• Get away from your cubicle or office to a quiet place to help recharge your batteries during the day, i.e., secluded restaurant for lunch, library or conference room to do research, yoga class, etc.

Question for You:

Do you find yourself reluctant to join conferences or group discussions because of the energy you will need to attend? Do you feel your work and career suffers because of your unwillingness to socialize at work? Do you just want to stay in your office and get your work done?

Action for You:

Being task-oriented and focused on getting work done is admirable but needs to be balanced with the interaction of your peers. Try working the seven suggestions above into your daily "to do" list and you may begin to see others change their perception of you from reclusive to inclusive.